


Starfall

by VioletArrows



Category: Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
Genre: Action/Adventure, Arachnophobia, Blood and Gore, Body Horror, Dark Humor, Death, Explicit Language, Gen, Graphic Description, Implied/Referenced Torture, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Horror, cosmic horror
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-13
Updated: 2019-11-09
Packaged: 2019-11-16 11:28:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 20
Words: 75,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18093437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VioletArrows/pseuds/VioletArrows
Summary: At the place where Hammerfell and Skyrim meet, a city on the edge of the desert is both frozen and burned, and a dragon's corpse is in the middle. An addled Redguard woman runs from the disaster and into Skyrim only to be captured by the Thalmor for interrogation about the event. During the breakout, a fellow prisoner has a lot of the same questions she does. They'll need to rely on each other to find the answers.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A new chapter every two weeks.
> 
> 1) This is a 'modded run' (obviously, Kaidan is here). Mostly mods that fit the world to make the game Bethesda made... less Bethesda levels of jank and barebones. Most of all the absolutely pathetic magic system of Skyrim.  
> 2) Almost all of the lore comes from en.UESP.net.  
> 3) Dragon Language comes from thuum.org  
> 4) If you're here for flashy action, I can do that. If you're here for saucy exploits... ehh. I dunno, come back some time around book two. Maybe. Best you'll find here is a nudge and shrug. Unless you're down for the most platonic of friendships.  
> 5) Don't bother trying to 'diagnose' what the hell is wrong with Starfall. She's a midden fire and Tamriel's most advanced methods of healthcare are literally prayer and herbs.
> 
> On comments: So, it's been a while since I've posted a fic (like at least 15 years) on a fic dedicated website. And the old rule that I held on to from all those years, as well as in getting reviews from professional writing, is that you stay out of your own comments/reviews section and just keep working. Silent appreciation or whatever. So I didn't know that was *rude* on AO3 til like fuckin' 7 months and 17 chapters in. So, I'm sorry, my bad. I saw everyone's comments, and I am incredibly grateful. I'll try to be better in the future.

The Thalmor had found her. Rather easily, really. She would have punished herself for her sloppiness, but those Aldmeri assholes were well on top of that. She sat in her cell, badly dehydrated and futilely trying to cast a healing spell on the cauterized cuts between her fingers. Violet wasn’t afraid of scars. She already had lines marring her face from where a sabercat had batted her head against a tree several years prior. She was always a little accident prone after that and collected scars like ugly merit badges. There wasn’t anything else to do besides plotting how to get out, and she was already in the middle of that.

Just a glass of water and she could get out. But whatever intelligence they had on her told them not to give her any water. So, they gave her crackers. Violet hated the dry little salt squares so much, she had tried to eat the mushrooms growing in the corners. They weren’t bad, really. Needed roasting and spices.

She slowly came to the realization that this was probably her lowest point so far. Sitting in a secret Thalmor prison, stewing in self-hate, eating hopefully not poisonous mushrooms and crackers. Her time back home in Hammerfell wasn’t amazing by any means. But at least there was a modicum of dignity.

Violet took a deep breath and closed her eyes. She wasn’t a praying woman; this was more to stop the world and reassess the situation. She’d been in the cell for two days. It wasn’t going to get any easier, and certainly not any better. The Thalmor didn’t release their prisoners. She could hear water nearby but couldn’t reach it. There had to be something _in_ _here_ she could use.

Step one: search every millimeter of the cell. Step two: while searching, consolidate the last of her mana.

She slowly slid from her bed to the floor. Trying to get back up was going to be a bitch. Once there, she ran her arms and fingers along the cracks and corners. Grime, spider webs, splinters of wood from the wood-rotted bed, and behind the corner bedpost was a thin splinter of metal. The corner of her mouth turned up just barely. She could get out of the cell at least. Then scrounge the halls and other cells.

The inquisitor and guard didn’t come by often, just enough to have their footsteps set her on edge. She didn’t bother sitting up and crawled across her cell, still keeping an eye out for anything else she could use. The only other thing in her cell was a statue of Mara. Still not a praying woman. Had that been left here from whoever was here before, or did the inquisitor put that there to mock her? Did the High Elves even believe in Mara? They sure didn’t believe in mercy.

She sat by the cell door and studied the lock. The prison was old; it seemed like these Nord people never made new buildings. They just moved around from ancient building to ancient building until it fell to ruin, and even then, they stayed in the rubble. So the lock probably wasn’t complicated. She hoped it wasn’t; she barely knew how to pick a lock. There was a little latch inside to push and turn it to the right. Delicate work. The splinter prodded and clicked as it slowly moved around the circular keyhole until a small vibration traveled into her fingertips and ear. A tiny bit of give. Violet’s heart skipped a beat.

“Please… oh please…” She whispered.

Her brain screamed back and forth between rushing and possibly ruining the whole thing and readying herself to full on sprint as soon as the door opened. Another minute of increasingly shaky poking later, the lock clicked and the bolt holding the door locked retracted into the lock. The door swung slowly and heavily, creaking loud enough the Redguard thought the guard would come running in any second. But there were no footsteps. She would have cried if that weren’t a waste of water.

Violet stayed low and away from the few lit sconces along the walls. Outside of her cell was a table at the intersection of hallways lined with more cells, and stairs leading to a higher level of the prison. She stopped at the table to put the single candle out and hopefully steal a sip of water from the tankard, even if it did have gross elf backwash. She was more angry than anything else that it was empty, but nearly shouted when under it was a key. She grabbed it and quickly threw herself under the table when she heard something move at the top of the stairs.

Shuffling? It wasn’t the metal boots of the guard. Another poor bastard being questioned? More likely. Fuck. By herself, it was easier to sneak out. But another body to help overpower their captors would be essential if she was discovered. There was also the whole thing about leaving someone here to die. She couldn’t and wouldn’t do that. A barely audible growl rolled low in her throat as she checked the hallway and peeked up the stairs. The coast was clear. She crawled up the stairs on all fours and took another look around. No guard, but there was someone in the central cell. Looked human and not an elf or beast. Bolted to the wall in stocks, his head drooped over his chest and long, black hair obscured his face. He somehow managed to look a lot worse off than she felt. She saw he had a cup of water on the ground at his feet. That was enough to decide for her.

Despite being a mage, she knew how to keep quiet. She reveled in silence even when she wasn’t in danger. Noise was annoying at best and painful at worst. The key she stole from downstairs clinked into the lock and slowly turned so the creaking wasn’t as horrible. The clank as the bolt retracted startled the man awake.

“Back again? I swear to the gods, when I get out of this…” He rasped in a deep, frightening accent she couldn’t place.

‘Shit!’ Violet summoned enough strength to rush through the door, over to him in a smooth motion and clamped her hand over his mouth. “Ssshh! Sh sh sh!”

His head raised enough his hair fell back and his bloodshot, hateful eyes bore into her. She almost fell back in surprise as he had bright red, almond eyes, but not like a Dunmer’s. Maybe a half-elf? Was he a vampire? Ohh, she hoped not. She wasn’t about to get eaten so close to freedom. Also, even though he was bolted to the wall and bent over in an awkward position, she still had to reach up to quiet him. While she was already small and unassuming in stature, especially compared to the native Nords and even other Redguard, he seemed like he would dwarf them standing upright.

She shook her head and hoarsely wheezed in his ear. “Be quiet. We’re getting out of here. If you fuck this up for us, you will wish I’d left you for the Thalmor.”

The man squinted at her in the low light, exhaled into her hand, and nodded weakly. She produced the key that opened his cell door, and tried it on the lock to his stocks, rolling her eyes with a ‘that’s fair’ when they didn’t open. Having a skeleton key for the entire place would’ve been _too_ convenient. She still had the metal splinter that opened her cell though, and in an even tenser small eternity, picked the lock. As the latch opened, the splinter caught in the tumblers, bent, and snapped. Violet would have cursed at it if not at the same time, the man’s weight shifted on top of her and dragged them both to the ground.

“Fuck fuck fuck fuck! Get off me!” Her whispers were high pitched and gravelly.

“Will you shut up and give me a minute?!” He muttered. His hands found the ground and he slowly pushed himself off to one side, but still pinning her legs.

“Are you gonna defend me when they show up and you’re still pinning me to the fucking ground?”

“You’re a foulmouthed little thing, aren’t you?” The man’s annoyance was starting make him a little too loud…

“Shhh shut up… noise… please…” Violet was doing everything she could not to panic, but the pain of being fallen on when already in a weakened state was making her think this plan was ready to fall apart.

The strange looking man eventually managed to sit up with his back against the wall, pulling her to sit upright across from him. “There,” he said quietly. “Now. Thank you. Do you have a plan, or were you just skulking about hoping to bumble your way to the exit with no resistance?”

“I have a plan.” She reached for his cup of water. “I’m taking this.” And downed it in several gulps, not coming up for air or caring that it tasted like rust and grit.

“You came in here to steal my water? They’d been teasing me with that for days.” He sighed. “I don’t suppose you at least found a potion. Since you took the water that could have cleaned my wounds.”

“Hmm?” She noticed that the spot where he was sitting and where he had been bound to the wall were smeared with blood, both dried and new. “Mmm. They must have really liked you.”

“Funny way of showing it. Healing? Or else I can’t move.”

She nodded, then crawled beside him and turned him slightly to show his back to her. He’d been lashed several times, beaten, burned, and gods knew what happened with the older scars. “If I heal this up, I don’t know what I’ll have left to fight.”

His voice went strained for a moment. “You’re a mage?”

That tone put her immediately on guard. “In theory?”

“You manipulate _magic_.”

“I… can… heal?”

He grunted. “Look. We’re wasting time. If you heal me enough and find me a weapon, I can kill those Thalmor bastards myself and we can leave.”

“Or we can leave without alerting them.”

“They have my stuff. I’m not leaving without it, and they’re not going to hand it over. You heal me enough for that, you can leave without me.”

She hissed through her teeth. “Fine. Least I can do for the water.”

Violet took a few deep breaths and moved his hair forward over his shoulders. Her gravelly voice sent a painful shiver down his back. “This is going to sting.”

Without waiting for his approval, she traced her hands from the back of his neck downward, dim wisps of yellow light weaving through her hands and digging into the open flesh and bone of the man’s back. The magic burned like the fiery lashes all over again, and he balled his fists to fight the urge to shout. She didn’t stop to ask him if he was okay; they’d already wasted enough time and she was already tired and dying of thirst again. By the time her hands reached his lower spine, he was punching the stone floor and breathing raggedly. The wounds had stopped bleeding and had scabbed over. Her energy spent, she flopped over against the wall and closed her eyes. The man rubbed his arm over his eyes, flexed his back and shoulders, and satisfied that the pain was down and energy was up, stood up and steadied himself against the wall.

“I’ve always been amazed by healers…” He looked over himself and saw her nearly unconscious. “Hey. Don’t tell me you used yourself up doing that.”

“Water.” She gasped.

“We’re back where we started, you fool.” The man ran his hand over his face.

“Just… kill the inquisitor, get your stuff, and come back.” She tilted her head up to look at him. “Damn, you’re tall…”

“And you’re senseless. Gods…”

*

Kaidan looked at the tiny, plump Redguard woman slumped over herself where he had just been sitting. What could the Thalmor possibly want with her? She was clever enough to escape, and kind enough to help him, but they were usually after people who were _dangerous_. Or allied with dangerous people…

He quickly had a look around. He’d studied his cell enough to know there was nothing useful in it, save for the giant gaping hole in the cell that lead to where the inquisitor had holed himself up. It had probably happened when whatever caused the walls to crumble and water to leak in. He stepped over the rubble and found himself in another hallway; empty, save for a box beside his cell that held the torture implements they had used on him. He chose a hook that had previously been raked along his spine. He knew exactly where it was going to go next.

He’d been there for a week. Whatever it was they wanted from him, it was important enough that simply killing him and looking elsewhere wasn’t going to cut it. Unfortunately for both of them, he had no idea what they were after. So they kept pressing for answers he couldn’t give. And he had been very close to simply telling them any old nonsense so they would kill him. But thank the Nine for that strange woman, though he had a vague feeling that she wasn’t quite right.

He made his way down the hallway, hook in hand and a week’s worth of rage simmering in his chest. He’d learned ages ago that you didn’t let the Thalmor live, let alone trust one. The natives around here agreed, though sometimes in secret. Kaidan got to the end of the hall, steeled himself, and rushed into the small chamber where his jailer had been writing at a table. The element of surprise only lasted a few seconds, but all it took was the metal hook to the throat and a left hook to the jaw to knock the Altmer man to the floor. As Kaidan pinned him down with a knee to the chest, the elf jabbed his hand upward to cast a spell and white light turned his skin to iron. The man cursed and pulled the hook along the inquisitor’s throat, the inside blade not sharp enough now to make a clean slice. “Just die, you bastard!”

*

Violet took several deep breaths and dizzily pulled herself along the wall headed towards the sounds of fighting and an incredibly thick and angry accent coming up with new words for ‘Thalmor’. She snickered at ‘shit elf’. Good one. But if he was killing the inquisitor, then where was the guard?

“Hhh- hey…” She panted from the doorway. “The other one.”

The man didn’t take his attention from the inquisitor, still punching him in the face. “Find my sword and give it to me. Now!”

She groaned and scanned the room for a sword, as if somehow she would instinctively know it when she saw it.

Nothing on the bed. Nothing under the bed. It wasn’t beside the desk. The corner just held cobwebs and empty wine bottles. These idiots didn’t even allow _themselves_ water. The back of the room led to a small storage closet. She stumbled back there and found a few bits of junk they probably confiscated from other people and a dumpy little iron short blade that the Nords tended to use. That didn’t seem like his style, and it didn’t look like anything that wouldn’t be worth ditching to get out of here. She grabbed it anyway and threw it to him while she kept looking.

“What in Coldharbor is this?!”

“Just use that until I find it!” She whispered frantically. She didn’t know if he could hear, but there were footsteps coming down quickly from upstairs.

The Thalmor was suffocating and bleeding out slowly from the hook, but clawed at the man’s shoulder until flames poured from his fingers. The man roared in rage and removed his hand from the hook just long enough to jam the sword through the elf’s eye and into the back of his skull. The two prisoners both exhaled with some relief, as one threat had been taken care of. Then she looked out into the prison hallway and saw the guard run around the corner.

“Oh fuck...” She muttered.

“What’s going on-”

Kaidan jumped off of the inquisitor as the woman fell on both of them. She pulled the hook out the elf’s throat and covered the wound with her mouth, sucking deeply and ignoring the man’s cry of disgust.

“You’re a vampire?!”

The woman groaned and sat up, visibly nauseated and even dizzier than when she had stumbled into the room. “Nnn… no…”

His voice hardened. “… _Namira_.”

“Wait!” She was about to plead but heard metal clanking into the doorway. A frantic string of curses and whimpers the man was thankful he didn’t understand poured out in strained little whispers until she gathered all of her breath. The guard leveled a crossbow at her and pulled the trigger.

" _ **Fo Krah Diin!**_ "

She screeched the words out over the man’s shoulder and at the doorway. Clouds of frost that resembled mages’ ice appeared, but they were a deep and ugly red. There was a solid ‘CRACK!’ as the wooden doorframe, the surrounding stone, and the guard froze solid and exploded from the sudden temperature difference. Piles of bloody ice and stone littered the floor and tiny icicles embedded into the wall, causing water to start pouring in. The man had a few of the red needles embedded in his shoulder and his ears rang, but he was otherwise unharmed. Violet retched and coughed violently, gasping for air; far more blood than she had swallowed splattered to the ground and her arms wrapped over her head.

“What in Oblivion was that?” Kaidan got to his feet and scanned the room quickly for his sword. Whatever she was, she was probably not going to die by normal means. Those cursed by the daedra were usually a pain in more ways than one. He went around while she was still shell-shocked and finally found his belongings in an open chest locked in the prison cell next door. One of the Thalmor had to have the key. He frowned as he sifted through the guard’s melting remains and found nothing. That meant the inquisitor had to have it. He went back in and found the woman curled up in a fetal position on the floor, her hands still clamped over her ears. Sure enough, in a pouch on the inquisitor’s belt was a set of keys (and some septims he quickly pocketed). He left and retrieved his things, able to dress, armor up, and come back without her moving from the spot.

The tip of a black and silver blade slid across her field of vision; the light scraping noise sounded like metallic screaming to her. She scrunched her eyes shut and rolled away from it.

“Ssstp...” Her voice was gone, and she was in tears.

“Tell me what that was about if you’re not a vampire and you’re not a cannibal.” His voice was low and level.

She wheezed and he had to lean in to understand her, the blade dangerously close to her throat. “Ice mage. Need water to cast. Blood is mostly water. They starved and dehydrated me. So thirsty…”

‘Great. Another one.’ Kaidan thought to himself. “And that ice spell? Mages don’t shout spells.”

“Dragon magic.”

He didn’t know what to say to that one. At least it wasn’t daedra worship. He pulled the sword away from her. “Come on, then. We’ve got to go.”

It took her a few minutes more before she could get herself upright. She stumbled into the back room and returned with a waterlogged book, her only possession the inquisitor kept. She held it out to him before stumbling back to the cellblock.

“The Book of the Dragonborn.” He took it from her, flipped it open and read the introduction before catching up with her. “Are you saying you’re _Dragonborn_?”

“I came to this shithole country to find out.” She traced her steps back through the prison until she found a room full of bones surrounding a floor hatch. “Saw this and a note about the previous prisoners escaping down there.”

“By the Nine…” He sighed. “I don’t even know your name.”

“Violet Starfall.” She struggled with the hatch, wedging it open with stray femurs.

“Starfall. I’m Kaidan. I’m not a man who shrugs off debts, and I owe you my life. If you’ll allow me, I’ll help you.”

“Sure.” Her eyes rolled (whether it was dehydration lightheadedness or just her being blasé, Kaidan couldn’t tell) and she slid down the hatch feet first, not sticking the landing and making a clumsy splash as she tumbled several feet into a flooded tunnel below. A small, whiny “Fuck…” echoed up the tunnel.

Kaidan immediately hated himself for promising to help her.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Introductions and first impressions.

The path lead downward, the water flooding the tunnel but not flowing outward towards the exit. Violet dunked her head under the water and was about to gorge herself, but Kaidan grabbed her by the back of her rags and pulled her up again.

“Don’t drink it, ye’ daft thing. Look.”

A dead skeever floated ahead of them.

“We’ll find water once we’re outside. And possibly a healer. I’m dehydrated too.” Kaidan said. “We’re almost out.”

The tunnel ended in a ladder leading up to a hatch, and when they finally crawled out, they found themselves under a bridge, with three paths of a rushing river lapping at the bridge platform they emerged from.

“I thought Redguard children were all trained in the art of war and survival.” He looked around to the top of the bridge to make sure there wasn’t anyone searching for them.

She could hear him over the roar of the water, but after her performance, she couldn’t get out much more than the raspy whispers, which were pointless at their current location. He led her up to the road and started pointing in different directions.

“Fortunately, I recognize where we are now. We’re in southwest Eastmarch. _Un_ fortunately, we’re at least a few days from any village, and several to the cities. It’ll be dark in a few hours. North is Windhelm and Kynesgrove. Southeast is Riften; I’d rather not. There’s Eldergleam Sanctuary a day south, but it’s more a temple than anywhere we can get supplies and heal up.”

She pulled his arm until he leaned over to hear her. “I need to go to Winterhold.”

“Hmm. I suppose you would, being a mage and all. Fine. We can follow the river north and stay in Windhelm for a while. We should catch game nearby and get water before going too far north. The foot of the mountain range is pure ice.”

He pulled a waterskin out from his cloak and dipped it in the river, took a sip, then passed it to her. “Don’t drink this all at once. You’ll just be sick again.”

She wanted to argue but put the waterskin’s strap over her shoulder and followed him. She was alone with a strange man in a foreign country, she had no idea where they were, she had no money, all of her possessions were destroyed, she was in bloody rags, the Thalmor were after them, and she was sick, battered, delirious, exhausted, and angry at the entire ongoing situation. This whole Dragonborn business was just idiotic and she wanted to make it go away.

For the next several hours, they traveled silently along the river which did most of the talking for them. At one point, Kaidan was able to shoot a rabbit with his bow, and dress and roast it over a fire once the sun went down. Violet saw that there were perfectly good herbs growing just off the path and grabbed what she could as they walked.

“You know alchemy?” Kaidan took some of the herbs and stuffed them into the little carcass.

“Yes,” Violet said quietly, sort of hesitating about what to say next. “You asked about my training. I’m not a warrior. I’m more of a scholar. I’ve always been… too sick… to fight. But I can use magic, mix herbs, ride a horse, and shoot a bow. I can defend myself if necessary. Obviously.” She cleared her throat and instantly regretted it.

“Hm. A mage-scholar headed for Winterhold. Going to the college. Trying to find out what this whole Dragonborn thing is about?”

She nodded.

“You came at the perfect time! Civil war, Thalmor patrolling the roads and kidnapping people, dragons burning down villages, bandits taking advantage of the situation and tearing across the countryside... You should have stayed in Hammerfell.” Kaidan said bitterly and turned the meat over the fire.

“You’re from here? You. Um.” She turned her eyes down and gestured to her own.

“Aye. Well, I was raised as a Nord. I know I’m not Nord. Or Imperial, or Breton. My ears and face aren’t Merish. That’s about all I know. Probably not even from Tamriel.”

“The college will have books about the other lands and their peoples.”

“Most likely.” He said flatly.

“You don’t like mages.”

Kaidan poked at the fire, making the flames dance and a few sparks jump at her.

“If it makes you feel any better, I don’t do anything evil or forbidden. No necromancy, no daedra, no-”

“You sucked the blood out of a corpse and made that elf explode.” His red eyes were accusing in the firelight.

Her cheeks burned, which then spread to her whole body. “Are you upset about how those _monsters_ died in the middle of a desperate fight for our lives? Because if you could see what your back looked like…” Violet drank most of the waterskin against Kaidan’s advice as her voice started to die off.

He growled under his breath and reflexively shrugged.

“They deserved it. And judging by that, whatever they wanted you for was worse than me being some kind of godsdamned _mythical being of ancient prophecy_.”

“Who knows, maybe we both are.” He unsheathed his sword. “They wanted to know about this.”

The firelight only reflected along the silver edge of the blade, and the engraved runes seemed to glow along with the fire. The black part of the blade actually absorbed the light. The shape wasn’t Yokudan, Nordic, or Cyrodiilic, and was long enough it almost looked impractical to her.

“I’ve never seen anything like it, except that these runes are Draconic. I can’t read them in particular, but they look like the same runes that dragon magic is written in. I learned what little I could back home, but not nearly enough because dragons are Nordic and why am I, a Redguard born and living hundreds of miles away, part of this?”

He studied his blade. “Well that’s the first bit of information I’ve gotten in some time. Interesting that they had both of us at the same time and we’re more useful to each other than we were to them.”

Violet could smell the rabbit cooking and her head started to swim between being sick earlier and not having eaten anything substantial for several days. “If they think that Dragonborn garbage could be useful to them, they’re going to be so disappointed. I just want to get better.”

“Maybe Windhelm will have information. It’s the oldest city in Skyrim and they’re proud of their history. Though with the war going on, I doubt anyone will have time for us.”

“I don’t feel like attracting any attention after this past week.” She mumbled.

“Aye.”

“I just want a bath, clean clothes, something for my throat and ears, and a library to hide in.”

Kaidan pointed a thumb at the river. “Bath is over there. Better hurry before the wolves come hunting.”

“That’s ice water; I’d be frozen dead five minutes in.” Violet glared at him and snatched up the whole rabbit from the fire. After a few bites she realized that she didn’t like rabbit, she’d burned her mouth on top of ruining her throat, and Kaidan was trying not to laugh at her.

“Your loss. It’s another couple of days back to civilization.” He leaned over and plucked the rabbit from her hands, replacing it with the book from earlier. “Here’s your book back. I don’t have any medicine for your throat, but you can borrow my cloak if you don’t want to be seen. Best I can do.”

She wasn’t in the mood to argue, so she made her way back to the river and upstream out of his field of view. Dipping a foot in, it was exactly as cold as she thought. She paced around for a while trying to figure out what to do. She could summon a bit of fire as a basic spell, but that was an even bigger waste of mana she couldn’t afford to spend. If only she had a bowl or a cup. She settled with using her hands to scoop the icy water to wash her face and hair, which could air dry by the heat of the campfire. She also refilled the waterskin and dropped it back at his feet when she returned.

“Do you want to take first watch, or should I?” Kaidan had eaten most of the rabbit, had spread out his cloak to lie down on, and reclined against a tree.

“I want to sleep, but I can’t. It’s not quiet enough. I’ll do it.” She sat close to the fire and started to squeeze the excess water from her hair. Her long dreadlocks still dripped down her back and shoulders.

He watched her groom for a while. “I don’t see many Redguard here with that sort of hair. It doesn’t seem very practical.”

“Doesn’t matter. Not a warrior.”

“Nobility? I could see lots of gold and beads in it.” He gestured, refraining from commenting on how she was also soft like one.

“No.”

“Old ways?”

“Sort of, but I don’t believe in higher powers.”

“Not even the daedra who constantly meddle in mortal affairs?”

“Not that I don’t believe they exist, more that I want nothing to do with any of them, good or bad.”

“Even if you have the blood of a god?”

“Especially. Now please, I need as much silence as I can get.” She piled her hair on top of her head in a large bun, then turned away from the fire and sat in a meditative state. “And if you snore, I’ll probably ditch you.”

“What am I supposed to do about that?” He frowned.

“Not snore.”

*

The night passed uneventfully. Violet counted about 15 different animals passing around the edge of their campsite to investigate the fire and smell of cooked food, only one or two a potential threat. She didn’t bother waking Kaidan as she didn’t want him to think she couldn’t take care of them herself. Instead, she scared the intruders off by leaving weak ice traps to surprise them. She snuck the rest of the rabbit and willed her stomach to settle, thinking that the next meal might be a while off. While watching the two moons drift slowly overhead, she heard Kaidan stir.

“Do you want me to take over?” He said groggily and sat up.

“Yes. And thank you for not snoring.”

“…Right.” He shook his head and got up to stretch.

“Don’t step on the ice traps.” Violet quickly took over his spot, using his hooded cape to protect her hair and cover her head.

“Where?”

“Fifty paces north, south, east, and west. They won’t kill you or anything, I just don’t want to reset them. Still weak.”

“Hmm.” After a quick investigation, he found the glowing white threads circling the camp. Fifty of her paces. About thirty of his. He noted them and went around.

*

During his watch, he strayed past her traps and surveyed the area between the river, camp, and road. They hadn’t seen or heard any other travelers that evening, which worried him. It meant that either people were staying away because of bandits, or something worse was in the area. Hopefully they’d be long gone before anyone came to check on that prison. He realized he should have taken or burned the inquisitor’s notes. Those combined with the incredible mess that Starfall had made would put them even higher on the Thalmor’s wanted list. Being on the _other_ side of the bounty was fine. _This_ was a problem.

And of course, his life was upended by magic again. Though it sounded as if she neither chose nor wanted to be Dragonborn, if that’s what was really going on. The icy pins that had caught his shoulder melted a few seconds after they’d hit him, but the punctures still itched. He’d never seen anyone use magic like that before and hoped to never see it again. News went around fast after the Jarl of Windhelm, Ulfric Stormcloak, killed High King Torygg with dragon magic several months prior. He never claimed he was Dragonborn.

She wanted help and direction. Getting it from the mages in Winterhold seemed like a terrible idea. The College was insular, devious, and they frequently turned freaks out into the world who did everything from buggering the dead to hypnotizing armies of rats just to show they could. Starfall seemed to swing back and forth between simple-headed (‘is that what she meant by “sick?”’) and genius.

He hated to admit that using blood to make ice was clever of her under the horrible circumstances. And she was obviously disturbed by what she’d done. Even now she couldn’t speak up. But was she just injured or genuinely afraid of her powers?

And if she _were_ Dragonborn, her showing up could coincide with the actual dragons reappearing and destroying the country. Were they tearing the place apart looking for her? Again, Ulfric had existed for years before they returned. Starfall had to have only gotten here maybe a month or two ago. And what did she do to get noticed and picked up by the Thalmor so quickly? Now he really wished that he hadn’t pledged himself to her. But she was the only one who had any kind of information he could use since his guardian had died. He was now connected to the dragons as well.

The night passed slowly. He was still tired but used to it and had little problem traveling at night. Starfall said that it was too noisy for her to sleep, but aside from the river and insects, it was peaceful. Her hearing was keen, then. A little before dawn, he grabbed his bow and stalked the river. It was prime time for the good game. Just him and the other forest dwellers looking for their own breakfasts. He was tempted to catch another rabbit just to see her squirm, but a pheasant presented itself first, and some salmon had come close to the shore after he stirred a swarm of insects out of a half-submerged shrub.

Satisfied with three fish and the pheasant, he gathered everything up and headed back to camp. The sun was just fading out the two moons when he spotted the camp just as he left it. The threads of Starfall’s wards were still intact, the fire was dying embers now, and huddled at the base of a tree was Starfall wrapped up in his cloak. Well, he did offer it to her…

“You awake?” He set his catch down and began to work on stoking the campfire.

The cloak cringed. “No.”

“As soon as the food is cooked, we’re moving on. We’ve stayed too long in this spot already.” Kaidan expertly already struck flint and was nursing the dried leaf tinder.

She groaned and nodded.

Violet watched the fire grow quickly and helped Kaidan prepare the food. She borrowed a small blade to gut the fish (she couldn’t bring herself to pluck the dead bird), cut it open, and gasped that he’d caught a spawning female still full of eggs. She quickly scooped the eggs out with her fingers and ate most of them before realizing that Kaidan was staring in horror.

“What are you doing?!”

“Eating salmon roe?”

“You eat raw fish, eggs and all?”

“Salmon and roe is a delicacy along the western Hammerfell coast. The eggs pop between your teeth.” She held out the wide-open fish for him to try some.

“You don’t like the rabbit, but you’ll eat a still wriggling fish and its slimy eggs…” He grimaced and went back to preparing the pheasant.

“I’m an alchemist. I’ve tasted all sorts of things, including poison. A good poison is one you want to drink more of…” She finished the roe and put the rest of the fish over the fire with more herbs. “There. It’s cooking, and the scary roe is gone.”

“Hn.” He had plucked the bird and put it on a stick to roast, then grabbed one of the other fish. Thankfully that one didn’t have any roe in it. 

Once the food was done, it was cut up, wrapped in leaves, and carried with them as they followed the river, keeping the main road within eyeshot. He covered up their campsite, while she threw rocks at her ice wards. But she couldn’t break them, so she just gave up and left them there. They weren’t lethal, anyway. Maybe they would slow down anyone who might be looking for them.

*

Kaidan slowly found himself bewildered and irritated that Starfall would either fall behind or wander off completely as any and everything seemed to catch her eye. Or maybe her ear. He couldn’t tell. Flowers she either collected, or tasted first and then collected, or sometimes just inexplicably drawn towards something he couldn’t see or hear. “You’re going to wander right into an animal den and then maybe you’ll learn to keep up.”

“We’ll need money. I can turn this stuff into potions and sell them.”

“Okay, fine. But does it really require you to stop every few dozen steps?”

“The more herbs, the more potions and money.” She was starting to slow down again as she focused more on tying the bundles of flowers and roots together than watching where she was going.

“Okay, then how about this? Remember what I said about the civil war, the bandits, and the dragons? We might be safe from the war as the Empire wouldn’t dare come so deep into Stormcloak territory, but the bandits and dragons don’t care about borders.”

“We can trick the bandits and take their stuff. Dragons are pushovers when you shout their own dragon magic back at them.”

Kaidan stopped in his tracks. “…You _what_?”

“It came from some mountain cave close to the Hammerfell border, I guess. The trees where I crossed into Skyrim were too close together for it to land and eat me, so I froze its eyes and put an ice spear in its chest. It fell out of the sky, impaled on a tree, and that was the end of it.” She omitted the part about the burning waves of light...

“By yourself?” He was more than a little skeptical, despite what he’d seen yesterday.

“Mostly? I was travelling with a caravan to Falkreath, but they saw the dragon and tried to run. A lot of confusing things happened between a lot of people screaming and running, some shooting it with arrows, and the dragon burning that part of the forest.” Her voice was starting to give out again.

“These monsters have been terrorizing the country for months. Hold guards have been killed by the dozen. And you just wander in and talk about killing it like stabbing a skeever.”

She shrugged and started putting more herbs and flowers in her dreadlocks so she didn’t have to hold them. Kaidan growled to himself and rubbed his gloves over his face. More and more suspicious and dangerous and he wasn’t even getting paid for this…


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> That sweet, sweet relief of ending a long, bad road trip.

Four more days passed before they found anyone else traveling along the roads; a lone Argonian man dressed in layers of furs and a full backpack. Kaidan approached him with his cloak and hood up, as Violet didn’t have anything to offer, and was still suspiciously underdressed. She stayed behind and listened.

“Hey. Argonian. Have you come from Kynesgrove or Windhelm? Any news?”

The lizard man eyed them suspiciously. “Bah. No one talks about anything but the war.”

“More like Ulfric's fool errand.” He muttered.

“Ha! Dangerous words so close to his castle.” He eased up slightly.

“So we’re close? Good. What about the docks? Word from Solitude and Dawnstar.”

“Dawnstar has nothing. Solitude is secretive. Too many Thalmor around, even by the boats.”

“Be careful four days south of here. They’re lurking by the bridge. Do you have anything to trade? I have a few septims, and I saved this woman taken by bandits. She could use medicine and clothing.” Kaidan pointed to Violet who had wandered off the side of the road again and seemed to be looking out towards something neither of them could see.

The Argonian leaned over and raised an eye ridge at the dozens of flowers sprouting from her head. “Did they kidnap a Redguard or a very small, fat spriggan?”

Violet turned around and glared at them both. Kaidan prayed that the sudden chill he felt was just a southward wind coming off the mountains. Her eyes rolled and she turned back to whatever had captured her attention before.

“Hnn. Nothing of the sort. Unless she wouldn’t mind a little skooma to ease her mind after the ordeal…” He put a brown, clawed hand deep into a backpack pocket and pulled out a small, delicate-looking vial.

Kaidan immediately looked away and growled. “No. Somehow I think that might make things _worse_.”

The lizard man chuckled. “Suit yourself.”

He waved the traveler off and went to see what had drawn her attention. “What did you find?”

She pointed northeast. “There’s an abandoned house across the river, a couple miles that way. There might be something we can use in it.”

“How in the world could you possibly know if the house is abandoned?” He squinted across the river to see there was indeed a cabin down the ridge.

“There’s an animal den less than a mile over there.”

“Oh.” He looked over to the small outcropping of rock and saw telltale signs that something was living there, just not home at the moment.

“Whatever it is, it should be a lot easier to kill than a dragon, right?” She flicked her right hand, and a thin, sharp icicle pitched into the ground beside her.

“I’d rather not risk it. We could both do with more rest and healing, and I don’t want to be weighed down with junk while we still have a day or two left to travel.”

“I want to see if there’s at least a pair of shoes down there, or a shirt not covered in blood, or a pitcher so I can heat water.” Her mind had been made up as she thought of trying to scrub at least some of the accumulating grime off of herself. “You have a bow; you can snipe it when it comes out after me. And we can sell whatever we don’t use.”

“Fine, then.” He sighed and unclasped his bow from his back. The black cured wood looked similar to his sword but didn’t have any engravings. Violet noted that the bow was even taller than she was and definitely not for game, but for punching holes in thick armor or hide. If he could really shoot, it would do against whatever wild animal, even if he only had a few cheap arrows.

They carefully made their way across a shallow part of the river, still taking care not to get swept away. A few dozen feet from the shack, Kaidan could finally hear snuffling and grumbling coming from inside. Hopefully it had chased off whoever lived here and not torn them apart. Beside him, Violet placed her hands over her chest and cast a spell over herself; her skin changed from deep brownish-red to dull iron gray.

“I was going to tell you to stay back…” Kaidan nocked an arrow and quietly stalked towards the house. He was familiar with some of the spells that mages could use, including being able to harden their skin to various elements. He still preferred real, physical heavy armor; it seemed more reliable. But trying to kill that stupid Thalmor while that iron spell was up was enraging. Thankfully the spell only lasted a few minutes. Either that or him dying by bleeding out was enough to break the spell.

“Let’s see what we’ve got.” She went up to the door as if she was going to visit a friend and walked right in.

“Don’t use yourself as bait!” Kaidan whispered. She wasn’t simple-minded, she was completely insane. As soon as she took a step inside, he saw another brown shape so much larger than her get up and growl loudly. ‘Does she have a death wish?!’

*

The shack turned out to be even worse off inside than outside. There were no side or back walls; the roof and front were attached directly to a rock wall. A fire was still burning against the back wall, with the smell of burning food and blood filtering up through the holes in the roof. There were a few vegetable and fish scraps spread around the room. And right in the middle of the room was a pile of gore, and sleeping beside it, a giant brown bear.

‘Maybe if I just keep quiet, I can just take what’s out and leave-’ Just stepping into the room caused the rotted floorboards to creak. The bear snuffled and raised its head.

“Shit,” she sighed.

*

Kaidan took a shot as soon as a clear opportunity showed through the window. As the bear got up on its hind legs to scare Starfall, an arrow pierced through its side. The mage held her hands out in front of her and icy pins and needles formed around her fingers like claws. She flicked her fingers at the bear's face, and it gave a room rattling roar when the pins stuck to it like porcupine quills. Starfall backed out of the house while the bear thrashed and tried to scrape the ice out.

Kaidan let several more arrows fly, putting mortal wounds in its side and neck. The bear couldn’t see him let alone reach him, so it chased Starfall outside. Once outside, it reared up and charged. She was not expecting something so large to be so fast, but was able to form an ice lance and impale the bear’s chest just as it came down to try and pin her. The bear’s claws drew down her face and front just lightly enough it only made a scraping sound against her iron skin on the way down, and dropped dead nearly on top of her. As soon as its blood started to pool, Kaidan finally lowered his bow.

“Why. Why did you go in there as if somehow the bear wouldn’t bother to get up?! Have you ever been hunting before? Do they not have bears in Hammerfell? Hell, do they not have wild animals at all?!”

“You know, you don’t have to fucking stick around. Other than the dead skeever water out of near-death desperate dehydration, I’m perfectly capable of fending for myself. I didn’t agree to a nagging babysitter. There’s far worse creatures than this thing back home.” She frowned and started to study the dead animal.

‘Gods…’ Kaidan covered his face with his palm. “Just... go get what you were looking for and let’s go.”

Kaidan went to decide what to do with the bear carcass outside while Violet went back inside to see if there was anything left unbroken and useful. The corpse’s clothes were obviously completely ruined. The bear had eaten what wasn’t burned up in the cookpot. On the table were some books and a dagger that would have been completely useless against the bear. A plate and a fork, but no pitcher or bowl. Still no washing up. Damn. At least there were a pile of clothes and a pack in the corner. She checked to see if Kaidan was looking in on her; he wasn’t, and she quickly changed into the too large pants and tunic. The boots were also too big, but she made do by tying them tight to her calves and ankles with some leather lacing. A few more laces tied her hair up. She still looked silly wearing a larger man’s clothes, but at least it wasn’t suspicious bloody rags that barely covered enough. Then she spotted the chest in the corner. She found it was locked, looked for a key or a pick, couldn’t find either, gave up, then stuffed the dagger and books into the pack. A few septims were in a side pocket, and she was satisfied.

An awkwardly long time for Kaidan passed, and Starfall clomped out looking improper and childish in men’s clothes that looked almost his size. She didn’t bother looking at him as she turned in the other direction and started raiding the little garden on the side of the house. Yellow flowers for her hair this time, and the vegetables were shaken free of dirt and stuffed into the pack. He’d taken the bear’s pelt, wrapped it up, and thrown it over a rack on the other side until they were ready to go. Whoever lived here must have been a hunter taken by surprise.

They argued for a while about taking a rest since there was a bed in the little shack. Kaidan wanted to move on since they were so close to Kynesgrove; they could make it by nightfall. Violet pointed out there was a bed, fishing equipment, and more supplies inside that they didn’t have to pay for. Kaidan won by mentioning that she’d be able to take a bath and “preen” at the inn there. They set out again, and after getting far enough away from the shack, she stopped wandering and caught up with Kaidan.

“Hmm. I… I’m sorry I scared you back there. I’m used to being left to my own devices and just doing whatever needs doing alone. I’m also going to try not to put you in too much danger, though I’m not sure how to do that when I’m going to have to hunt down more dragons and beat answers out of them. But… just don’t feel like you need to protect me from everything, or that I’m soft, or stupid. I know I’m a runt, and I’m strange, and an easy target. But that’s other people’s problem. Not mine. Not yours.” She said softly, not trying to look at him.

Kaidan kept his eyes forward. “Sorry I yelled at you.”

They both stayed silent all the way to Kynesgrove. They reached the small mining town late in the evening and were drawn by the small fires moving around the outskirts. The lights turned out to be townsguard patrolling and two approached them before they could reach the top of the hill. Again, Kaidan took over talking, his hood hiding his eyes.

“I’m a mercenary escorting this woman to Windhelm. We’re only stopping in Kynesgrove for the night and she’s tired.”

The guardswoman held her torch up to get a look at them, then nodded to her partner. “Come on, then. Keep an eye south. I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

“God, I need an ale after the week I’ve had.” Kaidan sighed.

“Iddra’s got that for you, and beds for her. Very few travelers to Kynesgrove lately, even though we’re only a day from Windhelm.” The guard yawned.

“The war?” Violet asked.

She hesitated. “…Dragon lurking southwest. It showed up a few days ago but circled the town and flew away without doing anything. Extra guards helping us from Windhelm, but no action yet. Unfortunately, we’ve been told to stay here and not send a hunting party to go find it.”

Violet stayed quiet. She was thankful they couldn’t see the fire building in her belly and threatening to boil out of her mouth. Kaidan gave her a sidelong glance and kept going. At the top of the hill, the guard told them to mention her when getting a room, then turned back down the hill. They both were so thankful at the sight of the longhouse that they didn’t linger outside for a second. As Kaidan opened the door, a wave of warmth and the smell of cooking food hit them both.

“Welcome! I just stoked the fire.” The innkeeper, Iddra, was sitting behind the bar and writing something in a ledger.

Violet took her pack off, dug into the side pocket, and gave her a handful of coins. “Hope this is enough for a night. I don’t know anything about Nord custom. The south guard Odda said to mention her and to have a mead ready when her shift ends at dawn.”

She raised her eyebrow at the strange woman, then counted the money and pushed three septims back to her. “Noted. This is enough, unless you’re hungry.”

“I just want a washbasin and some sleep.” Now that she was so close to actual rest, her body was already getting unbearably heavy and stiff. She leaned against the counter and tried not to doze.

“Another room and two ales.” Kaidan put the same amount plus four.

“Rough time on the roads, eh?” She swiped the money off the counter and into a pouch, then wrote in the ledger some more, set two bottles of ale on the counter for Kaidan, and showed Violet over to a modest room with a bed, table and chair.

She didn’t even wait for Iddra to leave before collapsing onto the bed. The entire week and a half fell on top of her like an avalanche.

Kaidan popped the cork on the first bottle and took a long drink while settling in front of the hearth. He still didn’t know what to make of Starfall. She simply walked into the path of a giant bear as if there wasn’t any danger at all. And given a few more minutes, probably could have killed it herself. She didn’t try to shout at it; she used regular magic. She barely flinched after getting hit in the face with a bear paw. But she refused to call herself a warrior. She just… did things without thinking about them. Which, when he thought about it, was not something a warrior did who wanted to live very long. He looked down and the first bottle of ale was already empty. He took the other back to his room, sat on the bed and thought a while on her words; that he didn’t have to stay. To be honest with himself, she hadn’t done anything _wrong_ , she was just aggravating.

‘If we don’t find anything interesting at Windhelm, we can part ways. She doesn’t seem to really want my company anyway…’ He only made it halfway through the second bottle before he set it on the nightstand, kicked off his boots, and drifted off to sleep as soon as he closed his eyes.

*

The night, morning, and part of the afternoon passed in deathlike sleep. Violet didn’t even wake up when the mining crew came into the inn making their usual morning ruckus, demanding food and chattering. Kaidan awoke sometime in the late afternoon and after checking that Violet hadn’t been run off by all the noise, he cleaned up, had lunch, and left with some of the miners to chat in front of the mine entrance.

“My companion and I just got in last night. The night guard said something about dragons. What’s this all about?” Kaidan looked around the campfire.

The crew all looked at the stranger, then at each other wondering who should go first. An older Nord man spoke up. “A bit ago, a bronze dragon the size of the inn crawled out of the burial mound just south of here. Nobody even figured that there were even any bones left in it. But as soon as it was out, it came straight here, circling and roaring. We’re just here to dig. We don’t have any weapons other than the picks in our hands. Blessed Talos that there was a Stormcloak patrol headed west. The dragon saw it was outnumbered and flew off back south. Hasn’t been back since.”

The others nodded.

“And no one’s hunted it down?”

“No one to hunt it down. Everyone capable is off fighting.”

“Ugh. Dark days.” Kaidan grumbled.

“Agreed. I know Ulfric’s got his hands full, but I wish he’d take this seriously. Hundreds of years of nothing, and suddenly the dead are crawling from their graves. They’re going to burn down Skyrim and then he won’t have a country left to run.” A younger man said.

After a few minutes of listening and debate, Kaidan spoke up. “…Where’s the burial mound?”

The elder snorted. “You looking to get eaten?”

“Ulfric’s in Windhelm, right? Does he even know what’s going on down here? Do you need someone to tell him? For now, I’ll only scout out where it might have gone.”

“And you’re saying you’ll do that for us? You just blew in here last night. And with that voice and that sword, from where I don’t know.” A Redguard man eyed him.

“I may not look it, but I was raised a Nord and am one by deed. And I have a better reason than most to see those dragons dead again.” Kaidan's voice hardened.

“We’ll see.” The older man said. “There’s actually two burial mounds here. Pretty nerve-wracking to have one raise up and the other quiet. What’s the other one waiting for, you know? Anyway, the raised one is back down the hill and southwest, a little inland of the river. The still dead one is right on top of the mine; follow the path around. And if you wake that second one up, we’ll put your head on a pike.”

“Do you think necromancers are behind it? I’ve had more than one bounty for those monsters.”

“We’ve got a mage working the mine with us; she keeps us safe down there, we keep her safe from those nasty city folks in Windhelm when they pass through. She inspected the mound after the dragon flew off. There’s magic, but it’s not necromancy, and it’s more powerful than anything she’s worked with.”

“Like a new type of magic?” That sickening display of dragon magic from Starfall flashed in his mind.

“Again. We are _miners_. Not scholars.” The crew laughed amongst themselves.

‘Scholars. Like Starfall.’ She did say she’d be hunting them down. Except from what he knew about the old stories, no one ever mentioned them being intelligent, let alone able to speak. He’d have to see what she wanted to do. Maybe he could get her to show off that she really was Dragonborn…


	4. Chapter 4

By the time Kaidan returned to the inn, the day had passed. He went in to see how Starfall was doing only to see she was still in bed.

“Oi. Starfall. You’re wasting time, and I've found us a lead. Get up.” He leaned on her doorway and raised his voice to jolt her a bit.

She didn’t move, except to make a deep, pained breath.

“Starfall.” He narrowed his eyes, went over to the bed, and stood over her.

She wasn’t sleeping, but frozen in place, staring at the ceiling. His boots clomping across the floor made her flinch, and only her eyes moved to focus on him. “I feel like shit. It was either the bear or something in that shack. Skyrim doesn’t have any kind of plague problem, does it?”

“Shit.” Kaidan put his hand on her forehead and snatched it away immediately, shaking it. He didn’t want to say, 'I told you so', but… “Not unless you count vampirism.”

“Either way, get a little water from the innkeeper. Mix it with a ground feather from my hair.”

“You want me to do alchemy? I’m not that good at—”

Violet grit her teeth. “It’s not hard, Kaidan. I just told you how to do it. Get a bowl. Grind it into a watery mix. Reduce it over heat. Give me the bowl.

He grumbled and leaned in to pluck a downy brown and white feather from one of her locks. She did look a bit like a fat spriggan…

Far too long for such a simple task later, he came in, moved a chair beside her bed, and put the bowl on the nightstand. He also had a bowl of cool water and a linen cloth for her forehead.

“So, is it a salve? Do you eat it?” He glanced back and forth between her and the medicine. He usually just bought what he needed already mixed by an apothecary and kept a bottle or two in his pack, but there wasn’t one here and who knew if she’d get worse in the time it would take him to go all the way to Windhelm and back. The only other thing he knew about alchemy was that taste-testing random inedible things sounded like a good way to get violently sick.

“Orally.” She moved her arms back to push herself upright and groaned. “Oh gods… Feels like my whole body is locked up.”

“Ah. That would be bone break fever. You catch it from getting bitten or _scratched by_ _wild animals_.”

“Ugh. Shut up.” Violet managed to prop herself up against the wall with a lot of struggling and dramatic noise, and Kaidan handed her the thin concoction. “At least it doesn’t affect my stomach. I _hate_ stomach illnesses.”

“Considering you’re willing to eat live fish eggs and poisonous plants, I’d be surprised if you _didn’t_ have an iron stomach.”

“Did that really bother you so much?” She sighed and creakily raised the bowl to her mouth. Even chewing seemed arduous. “…You were supposed to take the soft barbs of the feather and grind that up, not the shaft.”

“You didn’t say that! I told you I wasn’t an alchemist or a healer.” He rubbed his hand over his face.

She picked a shard of feather shaft out of her teeth. “That’s fair. Thank you for making this for me. You did fine. The fever should break in a few hours and I’ll be fine tomorrow with more water and food.”

He nodded. “Good. Listen. Kynesgrove is a mining village and I spoke to a few of the workers today. They say the dragon the guard mentioned is still loose just south of here. Evidently, we passed a burial mound last night and didn’t see it. There’s also a dormant burial mound on the other side of the village, on top of the mine. We should investigate both.”

Violet leaned her head back against the wall. “Cloth. Please.”

He dipped the cloth into the bowl of cold water, wrung it out, and gave it to her. She pasted it over her face and sighed in relief, focusing on the cool cloth over her face and milling over Kaidan’s news. Even if she hadn’t fallen ill, she wouldn’t have felt up to fighting a dragon anyway. Using dragon magic drained her terribly, she was completely unprepared, and her number one priority at the moment was to get to an actual safe city and establish someplace she could work out of. Kaidan didn’t seem to mind being on the road very much, but to her it felt like she was constantly being chased and never allowed to rest. …Because she was. Fucking Thalmor. Fucking dragons. Fucking prophecy.

She pulled the cloth from her face once all the cool relief was gone. “I don’t suppose you can make it a stealth scouting mission and do it yourself? Or at least wait until we can get actual money, supplies, clothing, weapons, and gods I could use a cup of sweet aloe.”

“Uh, no. You’re the Dragonborn, not me. I couldn’t hide even if I had an invisibility potion. And honestly, taking on a dragon with anything less than a dozen men sounds like suicide.”

Her voice dropped to a barely audible hiss. “One, you didn’t believe me earlier so what changed, and two, don’t call me that out loud in public. I barely even know what it means, other than slightly deadlier than normal magic and unwanted attention.”

Kaidan looked her over. “I have a theory.”

“Oh gods…” Starfall rolled her eyes.

“Were there dragons in Hammerfell?”

“There were some around Skyrim’s border, yes. Who knew Dragonstar was actually named after _dragons_? Anyway, we killed them. All of them.”

“Well so did the Nords hundreds of years ago!” He threw his hands up.

“And now they are dead again. I hope.”

“When did they start appearing?”

Starfall shrugged which turned into a pained grunt.

“Okay… when did you cross into Skyrim?”

“I don’t remember how long it’s been. I have trouble remembering things like time.”

Kaidan buried his face in his hands, growled, and walked out of the room.

*

A few hours later, he came back, and they pooled the last of their money together to give her one more night to recuperate. Kaidan left later in the evening without telling her where he went; only that he would be back in the morning. She shrugged (less painfully this time) and eased herself out to the main hall to eat and have a look around. As she filled up on bread and vegetable soup, she listened to the idle chatter going around.

“You think he’ll actually go find that dragon?” A man who had to be one of the miners held the door open for a Dunmer woman.

“I sort of hope he doesn’t. If it spots him first, he'll either be incinerated, or he’ll anger it enough it might come back here for another round.” She replied as she settled down for a drink.

“You didn’t see him earlier. Human, but with Dunmer eyes. Not a half-elf either, bigger than a Nord. He’s going to bring trouble down on us, I know it.”

“Like how I bring trouble down on you, Roggi?” She side-eyed him and drank her mead.

“You know I didn’t mean it like that, ‘Nea. Nosy strangers.”

The conversation halted abruptly as they noticed Violet at the end of the hearth, picking at her bread.

“And what’s your story, lass?” Roggi crossed his arms.

She went with what Kaidan chose earlier. “I came here to chronicle the dragons. Some turned up at the edge of Hammerfell, and they led me through Skyrim. The caravan I was with got picked apart by bandits, and that mercenary looking for the bounty on them said he’d get me to Windhelm and I’d pay him when we get there.” Keep it simple, keep it short.

“Wait, they’re in Hammerfell too?”

“There have always been dragons in Hammerfell. A lot smaller than the ones here. But they were more a nuisance. Whatever’s going on with these giant dragons seems to be different.”

“If only they were just a nuisance. Whole villages burned, livestock taken, nowhere is safe. I’ve heard that some have been killed, but they get right back up again later.”

“…That’s new. I wish I had some parchment and charcoal. Those bandits burned everything they couldn’t use, including my work. It’ll take _weeks_ to write everything down again.” Violet was tearing the hard-crusted bread from her meal into little pieces.

Iddra pulled a few scraps of paper from under the counter and a bit of ink. “Here. It’s not a lot, but it’s a start.”

Dravynea took a chunk of bread for herself. “Hmm. Redguard mage-scholars are unheard of.”

“There’s more than one way to fight. My family was actually very supportive. Especially since if they hadn’t, I would have been killed.” Violet thanked Iddra and started writing slowly, her body still stiff.

“Indeed.” She nodded.

“I also need as many accounts of what people know about dragons as possible to put together patterns and find some kind of truth. Is there anyone here I can talk to?”

“Tell the group at the fire outside that Roggi said to tell you the story about how bad it was with the old dragons. You have to start with _why_ everyone is rightfully up in arms.” Roggi waggled a finger at her.

“Thank you. I’m sorry we seemed so suspect. But the whole thing with the escape from the bandits was such a mess, we’ve been traveling through the wilderness for too long, and then I was attacked by a _bear_ …” She trailed off, her voice turning into a low growl and coughing.

“Damned bandits are capitalizing on the war. Don’t show any of them an ounce of mercy. Skyrim’s got enough problems without those fools taking advantage of the situation.” Roggi said.

“Oh, I don’t think they’ll be able to hurt anyone else if they’re in little pieces.” Violet looked into her bowl of soup and finished it.

For the rest of the evening, she worked on rebuilding her notes, taking what she’d learned over the past week and working backward. She went out and listened to the miners’ stories (trying hard not to run off and hide whenever they got loud and raucous), fitting as much as she could onto the scraps of paper she was given. She made a note about possible resurrections. There were even a few notes about the Outlander with the draconic sword. Maybe he’d be able to hold his own when the time came to face actual monsters instead of game.

As promised, Kaidan came back to the inn a little after dawn and settled in front of the bar. He had dragged in a small variety of wild game and was negotiating a fair trade for them, when Violet came out of her room and took a stool beside him. Her flowers were all gone, as were her shoes.

“I think I’m good to travel today. I’ve slept most of the fever off. Now I just need some fresh air and maybe another dose of medicine.” For which she asked the day innkeeper for another bowl.

“Good. I also found a few supplies to keep us on the last stretch to Windhelm. If we leave tonight after checking the burial mound, we should get there in only a day or two.”

She glanced over at the innkeeper, then back over to Kaidan. “Just what exactly do you want me to find, there? The dragon won’t be there; I doubt they crawl back into their graves to rest.”

“A quick look through the woods, then.”

“And if we find it?”

He smirked. “You’re the one who said they’re easy to kill.”

The innkeeper’s eyebrow went up.

“When I’m not recovering from fever, stripped down to nothing, and all around completely unprepared. They didn’t destroy your armor, weapons, or weeks of important research. Look at this. How am I supposed to do anything if I have to keep stopping to make sure all this doesn’t fall off?” She hiked up the shirt as it was so big the neck hole showed off her shoulders and cleavage.

Kaidan’s eyes drifted down the front of her shirt, noticing there was a vicious scar that curved down her left breast. He quickly looked away and took the money the innkeeper gave him. “Gods… We’ll go to Windhelm first and get you kitted up. Just don’t expect much until there’s good money coming in.”

“I already have that taken care of. I just need starter money for bottles, then it’ll all start paying for itself when we find the apothecary and healers in the city.”

“Where’d your flowers go, anyway?”

“I had enough books to press them. They’re in the pack.” She took the bowl and plucked a feather off of a dead bird that Kaidan had brought in.

“How… how did anyone figure out that eating _feathers_ cured diseases?” He leaned on the counter with his hand holding up his chin.

Violet thought a moment as she showed him how to strip the soft, fluffy feather barbs off the shaft, then ground them up into powder. “Like most things in life, happy accidents.”

“Not much of a happy accident to have discovered that deathbell flowers kill you…” Kaidan rolled his eyes.

“Happy accident for the first after who needed poison.” She cupped the bowl in her palms and they all watched as the water quickly steamed and evaporated to a bit of white suspension.

“Hmph. At least you have good control of your powers. Some mages I’ve seen literally blow themselves to Oblivion trying to light a candle.”

She swirled the mixture, blew on it for a few seconds, then swallowed it in one go. After a few seconds, her muscles visibly relaxed. A little too much, in fact, as she slumped over and her head hit the counter.

Kaidan tilted his head. “That’s… a lot more potent than what I made.”

She breathed out and closed her eyes again. “Kaidan… I’ve actually been at this for far longer than you think. And somehow, I know the cures to everything, except for what I’ve got.”

He frowned. “We should get going.”

“Hmm.” She sighed and pushed away from the counter.

*

Violet and Kaidan made better time to Windhelm now that they’d had a little time to properly rest and reached the city walls just before sunset. The weather quickly turned bitterly cold the closer they got to the city, until they reached the gates and found the entire bridge frozen over and a snowstorm sweeping along the river. At the hundreds of feet to the other side, the gates were iced over and frozen shut. Violet took two steps onto the ice and almost fell.

“Well this is going to be fun.” Kaidan muttered.

“I am not turning back. I want to buy some clothes that fit and find a quiet place to work. I’ll just burn a path through.”

“Wouldn’t heating a path be a gross waste of energy? And the gate is shut. Unless you can open that too.”

“Guards’ entrance. There still has to be someone over there. And I’m not going to continually summon fire, just small paths a few dozen feet at a time.”

She hated using raw fire. The sheer amount of heat didn’t agree with her, and people always got panicky whenever it wasn’t rooted to a candle or hearth. “I’m going first. The ice will turn to steam immediately, but the surrounding ice will melt and take its place within a few seconds.”

She held her hands out in front of her, her palms pointed at the ground. Dim orange flames poured from her palms and onto the giant cobblestones, creating hissing steam and canceling out both problems. Kaidan walked in her footsteps awkwardly, having to stop and wait for her to get further away every few steps. She took her time controlling the bursts until they reached the front gate, and off to the left side, a small metal door meant for one person at a time. There wasn’t anyone guarding either, and she assumed that they were probably lazing around on the other side. She went up to the side door and pounded on it.

“Ugh, the door’s too thick and they’re not going to hear that.” She huffed and rubbed the side of her fist.

‘At least she’s not trying to melt the door off its hinges.’ He thought as he looked around. The ice had already reformed behind them so there was no turning back.

“Where the hell are the guards? Why is the city gate shut during the day? We could freeze to death out here. I’m so close to just breaking in.” She pulled her sagging clothes tighter to herself.

“Considering we’re both foreigners, and this is the capital of a bloody civil war, that’s the worst idea ever.” Kaidan shook his head and gave his cloak to her.

“You have a better idea?” Violet eyed the main gate.

“Cover your ears.” He took out his sword and banged the pommel against the door several times.

Violet barely had time to do what he said before the clanging of cold steel echoed up and down the bridge, and hopefully over the wall. After the noise dissipated, they waited for a few minutes. Just as Violet was about to do something drastic, the view slider on the door opened.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” A guard peered through the slot at the two of them. “You see the gate’s closed.”

“And why the hell is the gate closed in the middle of the day? You’re not under siege.” Violet said.

The guard rolled his eyes. “Because of the dragons.”

Kaidan squinted at him. “That makes no sense at all. They can fly.”

“Look, we’re not asking you to deice the main gate, just open this door and let us into the city. I promise I’m not a dragon.” Violet groaned.

Kaidan snorted and Starfall shot him a withering glare.

“Did you come from Kynesgrove?”

“Yeah. The people there want to know when Ulfric plans to send people out to kill the dragon from a few days ago.” Kaidan crossed his arms.

“And you know what, go ask him if he remembers that he fucking owes me big for Helgen. He’ll know what it means.”

Kaidan looked down at her. “He _owes_ you? For what?!”

She elbowed him in the side, only to wince as her unprotected elbow bounced off the black metal plates.

The guarded looked back and forth between them, then slid the viewer shut again.

“He’s actually going to make us wait out here while he goes to ask. I’m going in.” Her hand started to glow white.

“Don’t.” He realized too late he shouldn’t have grabbed her wrist as blindingly bright flames flickered at her fingertips. He quickly let go of her as if she were still contagious. “It’s got a crossbar behind it, and even if you do get it open, you’ll get to see Ulfric in chains. What is the matter with you?!”

“The matter is that Nords are ridiculous.”

Kaidan rolled his eyes. She wasn’t wrong. He was almost tempted to see what would happen if he just let her be insane when the door rattled back and forth on its hinges. After a few attempts, the ice surrounding the doorframe crumbled and the door creaked open. Starfall muttered a bunch of curses and followed the new guard through the long hallways inside the massive, ancient walls.

“I’m surprised you made it across the bridge. It gets like this every few weeks. You could have just stayed at the stable or farms down the road, you know.” This new guard shook her head at them.

“I need to talk to Ulfric. And it’s been a shit couple of weeks.” Starfall groaned.

The guard laughed. “And what would a Redguard be needing the jarl for? He’s not talking to visitors. Go get a drink at the alehouse and hole up until this storm is over.”

“I already told the other one. We need to talk about Helgen, the dragons, and why he thinks these petty slap-fights with the Empire are more important than his precious country burning to the ground that Talo—”

Kaidan gasped and snatched her up, clapping his hand over her mouth. Okay, that’s what happens when she’s allowed to be insane in front of other people. Noted. ‘Fuck.’

The guard turned around and leaned in her face. “That Talos _what_ , Redguard?”

He broke in. “She’s mad, both in the head and about being attacked by dragons. Evidently Helgen was an… ordeal.”

Starfall grit her teeth at that word. Mad. He thought so, too. Everyone did. Just because of some unspoken rules everyone snickered behind her back about. A Redguard who was powerful not with arms but by magic. A godless heathen who would be taken by no aedra or daedra in death, but evidently created by the great Akatosh himself. Would he still want her after she denounced and cursed him for making her an abomination? Another curse upon her to rely on the very magic that always threatened to end her. And all packed into a shell that was constantly on the verge of falling apart.

Her body became dangerously hot in Kaidan’s grip, enough for him to snatch his gloved hand away from her mouth and dropping her entirely when his metal plating started to glow. “Put. Me. Down.” She pulled the cloak over her face and slunk behind him in silence. They both eyed her uneasily but continued on.

Once the guard led them out to the main road, Violet wished she had an invisibility potion, so she could ditch them and go about her business in peace. Instead she glanced around, noticed the castle straight ahead, and went in that direction without them.

“I wouldn’t leave her alone, if I were you. Especially if she’s going to try and get into the castle.” The guard’s staring could have bored holes into Violet’s back.

“Great.” He stayed a few feet away from her, praying that he wouldn’t have to step in for her again.


	5. Chapter 5

“You’re not seriously going to see the jarl looking like that are you?” Kaidan had caught up to her easily and decided to just follow without getting too close.

“If he remembers that the Thalmor almost had his head on a pike, and this whole thing is his fault in the first place, and we took care of the Thalmor who were kidnapping people right in front of him, I’m _hoping_ he’ll help me.”

“You have no idea what you’re doing. You’re going to embarrass him and yourself.” He sighed.

“Because I’m mad?” Violet said quietly.

He winced. “Well… yes.”

“Your debt's been paid. Now leave me alone.” She took off his cloak and held it out to him.

He shook his head, took it back, and left.

Violet breathed a sigh of relief. She may have been grateful to him for getting her to civilization (if it could be called that), but his insufferable need to try and save her from herself was insulting at best. She needed space to breathe. Then she looked at the door, how awful she looked (and still felt now that she thought about it), and turned away from the palace.

'Daft thing is going to get herself thrown right back out of the city.' Kaidan thought.

*

Violet went around investigating as much as she could before nightfall. She managed to find the market district and quickly went for the apothecary. The shop was still open, and she ducked in just as a bitter wind blew at her back. The two men glanced at her for only a second before they went back to arguing. She decided not to get involved and started unpacking her flower-pressing books onto a table. She knew some of the Nordic flowers, and the little red berries and grapes growing on the roadside were addictive, but she hoped the store would have some cheap, familiar ingredients to really make what she wanted. The work table didn’t have anything in it, so she got straight to work. Herbs, roots, bugs, and fruits were crushed, boiled, distilled, and bottled. Then she took the samples to the counter, she found herself waiting an awkwardly long time for them to finally acknowledge her.

“Yes, yes, what do you want?” The Altmer grumbled.

“I want to trade up. I replenish your potion stock and remove your ingredient overstock.”

“Hmph. Let’s see what you’ve got, then…”

She had to fight the old man for over an hour before she had managed to get a few crucial potions, enough money for a bed at the tavern, and supplies tomorrow. Thankfully, the man who turned out to be an apprentice could see the value of her work (and was even impressed), and gave her the difference the old, crotchety Altmer wouldn’t. It was too late now to talk to anyone else, and she’d been put in a bad mood. Tomorrow there would definitely be clothing, and good food, and serious talk. She groaned to herself at the last one. She couldn’t say what was on her mind, but somehow being vague and roundabout but polite was supposed to fix everything. Stupid, useless nobles. Causing wars and everyone else has to fight them.

She made her way back to the center of the city and looked up at the Candlehearth Inn. It looked as old and dilapidated as the rest of the city. She wasn’t in the mood to talk, so she bought dinner and her room, and locked herself up for the night. After a few hours, she could hear the main hall upstairs pick up in activity and music playing.

“Oh no…” She groaned. The pillow over her head didn’t do anything against the noise above her. Then she saw the candle on her nightstand. She softened the cool, hard wax at the bottom, and with a tiny bit of cloth off of her pants, made some crude earplugs and sighed with some relief.

Far too soon, morning came. She’d slept terribly, and last night’s incident still plagued her mind. But at least a real bath and progress happened. She went back to the market for a new outfit and was surprised to come up empty-handed. An Altmer woman, who she was completely surprised to see, told her to go to the court wizard.

“I’d be cautious about him though, they call him Wuunferth the Unliving.” Niranye rolled her eyes.

“Ulfric hired a necromancer?” Violet was now incredibly suspicious of both of them.

She scoffed. “Ulfric’s not _that_ much of an idiot. But with what’s been going on with all of the serial murders, no one really wants to get on his bad side. Some people think he might be involved somehow, but no one’s got any proof.”

“Serial. Murders.”

“Women turning up dead all over the city, cut open, found before dawn.” The merchant sounded more annoyed than rightfully terrified. “Killing my business in the evenings. …Pardon the wordplay.”

Violet simply took a deep breath and rubbed her forehead. Of course, as soon as she escapes from prison, the first city she gets to for help is full of murder. “Right. Wear the good armor when going out at night.”

She considered going to Ulfric first since she had to go to the castle anyway. Stupid Kaidan’s advice yesterday had played over and over in her head, making her angry all over again. She tried being calm and simple with the guards, not saying anything more than she had to and after several minutes of wandering the upper halls, she came to a dimly lit suite that actually felt really homey and comfortable. An older Nord man sat at his desk, writing and turning over a small gem.

“You’re the court wizard? I was told to see you for arcane supplies.”

Wuunferth sighed exasperatedly and kept writing without looking up. “And as you can see, I’m busy. Come back later.”

Violet began to fidget. She had other plans later and wanted this all done with as soon as possible. “I just need new robes, so I don’t look like a beggar in front of the jarl.”

“He’s too busy to notice. Trust me. On that note, he’s probably not going to hear you anyway.”

“I need him to tell me everything he knows about the dragon magic he uses.”

The old mage stopped and leered at her. “And why should he do that?”

“Because I need to know how to get rid of the dragons. Maybe if they all go away, I won’t have to stick around here anymore, and I can go home and back to my studies.”

“You?” Wuunferth looked her up and down. “Think you’re a hero, eh? You’d fit perfectly in one of those monsters’ mouths.”

She covered her face with her hands and screamed into them. “Just… let me buy some robes.”

“Bah. Whatever. What kind of mage are you? Probably destruction, you Redguards are too superstitious for anything else.” His bones creaked and crackled as he eased himself away from his desk and pulled a drab, faded red robe and accessories from a chest in the corner.

Was this man rude because he’s old, or was he rude because he’s a Nord? Or both? Violet quietly envisioned herself turning him into little crumbles of bloody ice while he went around his room gathering supplies. They exchanged a stack of magical supplies for almost the entire sack of gold she made the previous night, and she left as quickly as possible. Slipping into an empty and unguarded side room, she patted the dust out of the clothes, gratefully changed into them, and threw the oversized men’s clothes into the fireplace. The robes were still a little large since they were meant for a tall Nord woman, but she felt more comfortable at least. They would be perfectly fine until Winterhold. The college had to have quality enchanted clothing.

She repacked her bag and retraced her steps back down to the main hall, where everyone was starting to convene for the mid-day meal. A man who was not Ulfric presided at the head of the table and was calling out business to everyone who sat down. With so many guards and people on high alert, she quietly approached the other end of the table.

“Who do I speak to, to meet with the jarl?” She sat next to a man in noble clothing.

“Stranger. The steward Jorleif is coming down the table. Speak to him first.”

She waited patiently for her turn and used some of the mead to relax her nerves. Thankfully after the steward had seen everyone else, he was accommodating and willing to answer a lot of her questions. He did require a favor first, though she was incredibly tempted to just abandon the whole thing once she heard it.

“One of the merchants told me about someone prowling the streets at night. But I just got here. I don’t even know my way around. I have urgent business in Winterhold soon if no one can help me here. And as a stranger, I’d have too much trouble talking to people, let alone getting them to trust me. I’ve had enough trouble just getting into the city.” She didn’t mention the general unease she got from people staring. Hopefully it was just general unease about the war and not some other vague taboo she wasn’t aware she’d broken.

Jorleif leaned in and whispered in her ear. “Get me a lead, and I’ll pass your inquiry on to the jarl.”

She growled softly and showed him her scarred fingers. “So you don’t think he wants to know _now_ about the two Thalmor agents I killed south of here? In his territory. Kidnapping people and torturing them for information. And that there’s a dragon lurking in the woods south of Kynesgrove? Or does he already know about all this and just have his hands full? Because once it’s done burning down Kynesgrove, it’s probably going to come here-”

“Alright, alright!” He hissed. “Keep it down. At any rate, do you really think he’ll drop everything for a couple of dead spies that you already took care of, and sending a regiment out into a howling storm to hunt down a hiding dragon? Best I can do is pay someone to do it for him.”

Violet narrowed her eyes. “How much?”

He looked at her as if she’d gone mad. “Hmph. A thousand septims to the group that kills it.”

A thousand septims would buy her a ride to Winterhold and a modest place to stay until she set up long term at the college.

“…Start counting now, I’ll be back in a few days,” she said. She excused herself from the table and left. The plan had changed a little, but money was still at the end of it. Kaidan had told her where it was, she just had to make her way back to Kynesgrove and work from there for a bit. Maybe another store would have a local map, so she wouldn’t die from wandering lost in the woods. She wasn’t a tracker.

She thought of Kaidan. …Shit. She’d already gotten rid of him. Maybe he hadn’t left the city yet. No, he couldn’t. They were frozen in. She went back to the inn to plan her next moves. She had some of her supplies back. She was mostly rested and physically healed up. Her throat wasn’t great, but dragon magic was more like a last resort anyway.

And it had been too long since she’d indulged that dark, gnawing hunger eating away at what was left of her sanity, so she was about due.

*

Kaidan stared into the fire at the New Gnisis Corner Club. He'd already burned through what he'd earned at Kynesgrove, so he spent his evenings at the little dive bar in the Gray Quarter. The patrons were suspicious of him, but Dunmer were mostly suspicious of everyone, anyway.

'Guess I might as well call it even,' he thought.

Even though she thoroughly was mad, he sort of felt bad about hurting her feelings. She seemed like she was trying to be sociable (except when she was obviously hiding behind him and away from people), she just didn’t get it quite right. He wished he could hide sometimes, but his looks, height, job, and nearly everything else prevented it. She wasn’t malicious like most mages, but she was oblivious. She could've left him to rot in the prison or killed him when she shouted at the Thalmor guard. She cooperated with him when he asked, though she tended to bend the interpretation of his directions when she was feeling stubborn.

“Ugh, why am I even thinking about her?” He ran his hand over his face and drank his ale. Once the gates were opened, he’d have to find work again. He had his weapons and the clothes on his back, which was more than many, especially in a city being left to ruin in the middle of a costly, foolish, war. Whichever side won would quickly be crushed by the Aldmeri Dominion. Starfall definitely had the ridiculous part right…

Then he realized that he had been the one to tell the miners at Kynesgrove that he would look into the dragon hiding in the woods to the south. ‘Shit.’ Though… technically it’s not like he said he would _slay_ it. And with Starfall likely making a scene at the hold, the message got where it needed to go anyway. Crisis averted. He lay in bed, tossing and turning and staring at the ceiling for the rest of the night. At least until 4am, when he heard a woman scream, then a man's voice cut off, and an explosion rock the building. A large crack crawled up the wall beside his bed, flaking plaster onto him.

'What the—' Kaidan stumbled from his bed, grabbed his sword and rushed barefoot and shirtless down the stairs.

Only a bartender and two patrons were downstairs, all as confused as he was and looking to each other to be the one to go outside and investigate. He pushed past them all and ran out into the curving alley, not even flinching as his bare feet sloshed through the snowdrifts gathering at the door and slush from the street runoff.

Fucking _Starfall_. She was standing over a dead …man… as a Dunmer woman cowered behind her on the ground. The man was absolutely pummeled to a frozen bloody paste, the wall behind him was barely holding together as a large circle of frost impacted it, the woman’s dress and arm were covered in blood, and Starfall’s face was twisted into a snarl of absolute rage and hate, blood dripping from her mouth.

Their eyes met and Kaidan couldn’t decide whether to run inside and lock the door (for what good it would have done) or disable her while she was still frozen after her attack. He’d seen that murderous look somewhere else before and his chest tightened. He prayed the shaking he felt all over was just shivering and no one could see. She didn’t even show that kind of hate for the Thalmor that tortured her.

“Go. Back. Inside.” She coughed, her blood splattering on the cobblestones.

“What the _fuck_ did you _do_?!” Kaidan against all sense marched up to her.

“Fucking... obvious...” She struggled to get the words out as her voice died. “Chased a drunk fuck harassing me out here, catch this one about to kill _her_.”

He looked to the young woman backed up against the wall of the bar, nursing the open gash down her arm and wild-eyed. She nodded at Kaidan to confirm the story.

“Godsdamn it.” He picked up the woman and helped her inside.

Before they were inside, Violet’s last whispers were, “Dragon. Coming.”

Kaidan ignored her and slammed the door.

He was lucky her voice was already gone...

*

The bar patrons looked between each other and took the woman out of his arms. They had her sit down and were searching for first aid, when Violet silently came in and sat at the same table. She pointed to Kaidan and a chair.

“Not right now. She needs—”

Her eyes rolled. “ _Ssst DNnn_!” She hissed and spat blood into someone's cup, much to the bartender’s chagrin.

Kaidan growled and did as he was told, lest the whole thing take longer or make her do something stupid out of frustration. Once he sat next to her, she pulled the cork on a small vial from her breast pocket and drank it, shuddering violently. She took the woman’s hand and Kaidan’s, then bathed everyone at the table in golden light. The woman winced but didn’t pull away, and Kaidan blinked as he realized his feet were full of pins and needles as warmth and blood flowed back into them. He’d been standing barefoot in the icy slush outside for only a few minutes… Violet’s throat looked as if she’d swallowed a flame, the elf's arm stitched up and scabbed into a fiery scar over her bicep, and Kaidan’s feet glowed with golden flames. Violet dropped their hands and shot him an ugly look. The rest of the room was stunned.

“I told you not to fucking act like I don’t know what I’m doing.” She croaked. “Is everyone alright?”

Kaidan and the woman looked to each other and nodded.

Violet pointed to the elf, her voice still only a hoarse whisper. “If the guards or the steward ask you about this, you tell them the Redguard said this is the _third_ time I’ve done the jarl’s work for him. Understand?”

The woman nodded.

“Good.” She turned to Kaidan. “Put your armor on, the dragon will be here soon. We can get some answers.”

The room turned deathly silent. Kaidan's mouth flattened into a line. If he hadn’t already been awake, he would have told her to bugger off and gone back to bed. She was still angry and grim, but also sparked with determination. She had to know something on top of predicting this incoming disaster. He went back to his room, put his armor on, and returned a few minutes later. Starfall still sat at the table, now quickly writing on some parchment with a piece of charcoal. He stood over her for several minutes, watching her write and scratch out parts. As he was about to ask what she was wasting time on, she passed him the parchment and pushed him out into the harsh snowstorm.

It read, “ _I know you don’t trust me, especially after I just killed that man outside, but I can explain all that later. Hypothesis: The dragons are looking for me. I think they can hear me when I shout. We were underground last time, so it was probably hidden from them. I need to get out of the city as soon as possible. Dragon magic is molded by emotion, intention, and other factors I don’t know yet. The drunkard and serial killer (LATER.) were suitable test targets to evoke an emotionally powerful spell._

_The dragon: I’m fully capable of killing one without dragon magic, but I want to see what your sword and armor does against it. I am not an expert, but I believe they are enchanted. The material in your sword is not from Tamriel. Neither Tamrielan nor Daedric ebony look like that. Your bow is also enchanted, but I cannot ascertain how since you don’t have proper ammunition. Once we split the bounty money (1,000 septims per the Ulfric’s steward Jorleif), you can buy better arrows that we can test with._

_I will keep you alive. Not safe, obviously. But alive. But you have to trust me and look for my signals, which will be points of light. Follow them as fast as you can without question. As you’ve seen, dragon shouts render me unable to use my voice normally. And yes, I know it was foolish to use it against the serial killer when there’s a much greater threat. I spent all day planning how to lure it out and fight it (by myself, but if you want answers, the dragons have them and not for free). I can actually use far more powerful magic than dragon magic for less personal cost. I know you don’t trust mages because we’re sociopaths or whatever stereotype, but I use magic to stay alive and “sane”. Without decades of discipline and study, I would have died long ago, and there would be no ‘Dragonborn’ at all._”

He stared at the paper for a long time. She sounded like a proper scholar on paper, instead of an unstable powder keg when she talked. When he lowered the paper, he noticed that she’d managed to lead him all the way back to the front gate. There were two guards manning it, and one in front of the guard house door that they initially came in.

“Tell them a dragon is coming from the south, and to secure the south wall of the city. We’re going keep it out.” She whispered in his ear.

“Are you absolutely sure it’s coming for you?”

She nodded.

He growled and went to the smaller door, as they definitely weren’t going to open the gates now. After a few minutes, she heard laughing from that direction, and of course they were laughing at the mad woman. Violet rolled her eyes and pushed into the group.

“Oh gods, Starfall, don't. We’re—”

“Which one of you dumb fucks wants to be the one who told the _Dragonborn_ to fuck off when the dragon came and ate everyone and burned this shitheap into even smaller rubble?” Her voice was hissing gravel and full of murderous rage again.

They all gawked at her.

“Open the godsdamned door. It heard me and it’s coming from south of Kynesgrove. You’ve got maybe another half hour before it flies in here looking for where I was last, which is _here_. Unless I get away from the city and meet it out there.”

Against the howling wind outside, a long, high pitched screech echoed against the mountains surrounding the city. It made the walls of the city vibrate and everyone in the guardhouse slowly lose all the color in their faces. Starfall's eyes rolled up in her head as she raked her nails down her face.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally, a problem she understands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to spoil yourself, paste the bold italics into thuum.org.

It was pure chaos after that. They practically threw Violet and Kaidan outside and locked the guardhouse door; they could still hear shouting as they turned towards the bridge. Once they were out of earshot, she doubled over and coughed until she could find a healing potion for her throat and took it. She shouldn’t have to threaten people to get anything done, but no one ever took her seriously…

When Violet recovered, she remembered the bridge was still frozen over; in fact, it looked even worse than when they arrived. ‘Right. This.’

“We don’t have time to go slowly over this!” Kaidan shouted over the snowstorm’s fierce winds.

Violet nodded. She nudged him behind her, rubbed her hands together, then held them out and clapped them together. The noise echoed against the mountains, and a massive wave of fire erupted all the way down the bridge. It roared and hissed as the snow and ice battered it.

Kaidan stared at the flames waving and froze to the spot. He could handle campfires and braziers. The fire was rooted down, controllable, and relatively small. But free fire. Living fire. The chaotic agony made by mages. His eyes widened and heart stopped. And then Starfall ran directly into the flames.

Violet was halfway down the bridge when she realized Kaidan hadn’t followed her. She’d told him his armor was enchanted; it shouldn’t be a problem, especially since the fire would go out as soon as his boots stomped it out. Oh gods. He wasn’t afraid of fire, was he? She knew a lot of people tended to be skittish around it, and she didn’t even like it that much herself. But more in that it was noisy, sucked up all the air around it, was harder to control, made her all sweaty, and left a charred mess rather than it being a horrible and terrifying way to die. She huffed to herself and turned back. There he was, still back pressed up against the guard door, his mesmerized eyes glowing even brighter red and betraying sheer terror. Something in her chest twisted in a knot.

‘Well fuck. He’s definitely not going to like fighting the dragon, then.’ She ran up to him and grabbed his hands in hers to pull him down to her level. She tried her best to be soothing, but mostly came up with hissing whispers. “I can’t put it out, and we can’t wait for the storm to put it out. The best I can do is shield us. I told you before, your armor’s enchanted. It can’t hurt you. If you stay here, you’ll suffocate, or be eaten. It’s only a few hundred feet. I’ll protect you.”

Still holding his hand, she clenched her other fist and a bright white, ornate tower shield appeared over her arm. He looked at it, then at her, realizing that it wasn’t going to get any easier with her. She’d just keep surprising him and swinging back and forth between amazing and terrifying. He was starting to get dizzy and the air was already getting thin.

She took off again into the fire, trying not to slow down as she’d already hated running, grumbling the entire way. But running back and forth through hot, smoky, thinning air trying to coax a man twice her size behind her without being able to see very well with a hidden dragon bearing down on them was just horseshit. They could’ve been across the bridge and far away by now where she could actually let loose without hurting anything. He had better be worth the trouble…

She was right. It was hot and uncomfortable, but the fire wasn’t burning the lining of his armor or turning the black metal bright red. Nothing on him was going up in flames or melting. It didn’t stop the air from being nearly unbreathable or his heart from threatening to break through his ribs and armor, but she was doing as she promised for now.

They were almost across when the warning screech sounded again, much louder and closer this time. As Kaidan looked up, the night sky was completely blocked over by storm clouds, snow swirling up and around the flames, and a fast-moving shadow headed right for them. He’d only seen a dragon once, from far away and it thankfully flew over a forest going in the opposite direction. The hill of Kynesgrove started alighting with torches moving frantically back and forth. ‘Gods, let it ignore them. Come here, you bastard. It’s us you want…’

Kaidan started to breathe again when he saw the edge of the fire and the end of the bridge. The fire there was only black smudges and embers, and the safety of the cold, hard ground was a beautiful sight. He picked up speed and nearly dragged Starfall behind him trying to reach it. Starfall tried to catch her breath, the shield breaking with her concentration.

“There had to be a better way to do that.” Kaidan growled.

“Better, maybe. Fast, no,” she wheezed. She snapped her fingers and a ball of light the size of her fist appeared in her palm. It floated down to the ground, then around the bridge and down into the river fork where the southbound White river connected to the east-west Yorgrim.

“You want to bring it down there? We’re still too close to the city. We should get further away.” Kaidan looked to a bridge further west and pointed there.

She shook her head no, then created a larger magelight, and hurled it at Windhelm’s walls. It stuck to a parapet and illuminated that there were archers and soldiers running along the paths, scanning the horizon and barely able to hold it together.

“You want them to shoot it?”

She nodded, still panting.

“Are you sure you’ve done this before? You can barely stand!”

“Sh-shut up,” she huffed. “Not a warrior. Don’t need to move much for this next part.”

She brought her backpack around, dug around in a side pocket, and brought out three identical potions and one black vial. She uncorked the black one first and drank deep, then drew signs over her chest that changed her skin from dark reddish-brown to glassy ebony black. The other three potions she held in her chest pocket. Another magelight appeared in her hand. This one shot straight up into the air and burst, creating a miniature sun in the middle of the stormy night.

It was immediately swallowed up by a shadow diving from the clouds and dropping directly in front of Violet and Kaidan. A massive dragon, all white teeth and claws, bronze scales, and black spines dipped its head low and eyed the two of them.

“ ** _DOV… AH… KIIN_**.” It growled. Its breath was hot enough against the worsening snowstorm to envelope them both in steam.

“…Oh.” Kaidan didn’t really know what to expect, but it wasn’t that. His hands white-knuckled the hilt of his sword. If the dragon could tell just by approaching her…

“Sure. Whatever. Do you speak _Tamrielic_? Taaammmrr—” The word caught in Violet’s throat, making her cough.

It huffed another steam cloud. “ ** _MAL. SAHLO. JOOR. ALDUIN YAH VAH HI._** ”

“Shit. Do you know what it’s saying?” Violet started repeating the words in her mind, trying to commit them to memory.

“No. I didn’t know they could talk at all. All anyone’s ever seen them do is scream and destroy everything!”

“ ** _ROK FEN WERID DOVAH FAH HIN DINOK!_** ” The dragon reared up and snapped at her.

Kaidan rushed from behind her and raised his sword as the maw came down, jamming the black blade into the dragon’s soft palate and using his boot against its tongue to pin its jaw down. It twitched and gagged, trying to move its head enough to snap at him. The sword wedged deeper upward until he felt something give at the tip and clear liquid oozed down out of the wound. The dragon’s beady eyes squinted shut and it staggered.

“Starfall! Don’t just stand there!” He shouted as the dragon tried to close its jaws around him.

“Ugh.” Violet grumbled, then summoned another giant magelight. She latched it onto the center of the dragon’s forehead. ‘Fucking useless dragon. Just like the others.’

Two giant ice spears launched out of the ground on either side of Kaidan and met at his sword, wedging the wound in the dragon’s mouth wide-open. A small magelight fluttered around his head and led back to her.

‘Get out of there, you idiot!’ She waved her arms frantically.

He almost questioned her for a split second, but he started to feel heat bearing down on the top of his head. He dislodged his sword and jumped away, Violet running into his position and summoning her shield. The distortion of light flared backwards this time like a bowl and the dragon’s fire blew back into its face. It fell backwards blinded by its own light, then staggered away and took off.

‘Let the archers do some work.’ Violet pulled Kaidan back further and pointed to the wall. She wondered why they hadn’t fired on it yet, then launched a fireball in their direction to get their attention. She couldn’t make it any clearer; the damn thing had a huge shining target on its head. Just as the dragon reared up to take flight, a volley of arrows whistled down and peppered its wings and neck. It screeched in their direction, went straight for the wall, and set the parapets on fire.

“Draw it back before it goes into the city! I told you we should have gone further away!” Kaidan quickly switched his sword for his bow and fired his own succession, his arrows wedging deep into the dragon's neck and back.

She didn’t want to tell him he was worrying too much, but she understood why he was on the verge of panic. First, draw it back. It really was too close to the city and it wouldn’t look too great if she disintegrated half of Windhelm trying to kill it. Not after the other incident. She popped the cork on the first potion, drank it, and took a deep but unsteady breath. Her hands drew a circle in front of her and glowing white threads of an ice ward formed on top of the river’s slush, dozens of feet across and large enough to trap a dragon.

Violet then opened up the second bottle and drank it, then put her hand over his bow arm to get him to lower it. “Stop.”

“Hmm. I don’t think I’m making a dent in it, anyway.”

“You did fine.” She cast several ice spears at the dragon’s back, piercing its wings, spine, and neck. It faltered, shakily pushing away from the wall and turning back to face her.

“It’s weakening...” Kaidan watched it flap around shakily as if it were confused.

She kept up her volley of ice, until it was bleeding all over from huge gashes and barely able to stay aloft through shredded wings. The spears wedged deeper and deeper, widening the wounds. With every spear she launched, she moved down the hill, closer and closer to the fork in the river and the ice ward. ‘Come away from the wall. I need you down here.’

The dragon couldn’t ignore her any longer; it coughed fireballs at the mage and warrior, missing through blurring and dimming vision. It was about to dive at them until an ice spear jammed into its eye, and it fell into the ward. Instead, it crashed into the icy water full force, breaking up the ice floes and making the beast scream loud enough to shake pieces of Windhelm’s walls and bridge loose. With the threads broken, the ice ward exploded. Ice spears, needles, and crystals exploded from the splash, impaling the dragon in dozens of places and making the river run red. Its screams were cut off as its throat was severed, blood pouring out and freezing into crystals before they hit the ice.

“By the gods…” Kaidan nearly dropped his bow. He had seen parts of the civil war, and his scars were a testament to events in his life that he wished he could forget, but the sheer brutality in the span of a few seconds from one woman… He thought back to the prison and how he wondered why the Thalmor would want someone so unassuming, and why she was so desperate for even a few drops of water, even if it came as blood.

“Not done yet.” She opened up the third bottle and finished it in two gulps. With both hands free, she raised her hands to the sky and swirled them with grabbing motions to seize control of the raging blizzard above them.

The wind picked up from every direction, all being sucked into a vortex above the dying dragon and nearly dragging Starfall and Kaidan into the water. He had to grab her around her waist to keep her from being pulled into the river. The dragon was still alive somehow; twitching and trying to free itself with dying puffs of flame, but it couldn’t turn its neck and only leaked heat, grey matter, and blood from its mouth. The clouds closed in and formed a white ball of light, which collected wind, air, snow, and hail into one spot. The ball flashed once, twice, and released a series of lightning strikes that quickly tore the dragon, the city wall, the bridge, and parts of the ground itself into burnt crumbs. Starfall clapped her hands over her ears, and Kaidan had to shield his eyes from the bright flashing lights and back them away from the water’s edge. Each bolt that stuck the dragon popped and jolted it in the trap that made him think Starfall was being extra malicious on purpose. And she had said this was _easy_! Mara have mercy on him!

A full minute later, the lightning finally stopped, and the blizzard seemingly tired itself out. The fierce storm withered into silent snowfall. Violet patted Kaidan on the arm and pointed to the dragon. The only thing left was a massive pile of char that was starting to break up and blow away. The ice trap had crumbled into bloody slush, like the man in the alley and the Thalmor guard in the prison.

“Still not done yet,” she whispered.

“But there’s nothing left! You’ve completely obliterated it!” Seeing the sheer desecration was starting to make him feel ill…

“It said, ‘Dovahkiin.’ This is what that means.”

The corpse rumbled, shifted, and burst into flames, the embers floating away to be carried out to sea. Wisps of fast-moving golden light flowed over the water and into Starfall, who began to glow and become enraptured. As he was still holding on to her, the light passed through him as well, though he felt absolutely nothing from either it or her. Well, however he was tied to the dragons wasn’t in a physical or magical sense... She inhaled sharply and visibly relaxed as the dragon collapsed into a pile of clean bones. Even the blood was gone. Kaidan finally felt like he could let go of her.

“And with its soul, I gain even more power.” Her voice was still soft and grim, but now honeyed, instead of the raspy hissing he’d always known. The glossy black sheen drained from her skin and returned to its proper color.

The tip of Kaidan’s bow dug into the frozen dirt as he leaned heavily on it and ran his hand through his hair. The dragon knew. And she had just absorbed its soul by using enough power to siege the city, if she had moved that final spell a few feet over the wall. She did it without using the very magic that made her special, and barely a normal word otherwise. She probably didn’t even need him to be there; but she did say she wanted to test him. The Thalmor wanted her for damn good reason. She was the Blood of Akatosh. And he had _angered_ her over and over the past several days. But she never retaliated against him except for when he physically put his hands on her, and even then, not to harm him, just to warn him. She healed him again and again whenever he was injured. She even soothed and protected him back on the bridge.

“Well. It’s dawn. And I’m beat. I don’t know about you.” She patted his back and went to climb back up the hill to the main road. “Better get back inside before the bridge freezes over again.”

He watched her hike her robes up a little and make awkward stomps and slides up the snow. She looked like a clumsy duck waddling. ‘Bloody unbelievable.’

*

The walk through the guardhouse was awkward and silent. The tired, shaken, and slightly burnt guards could only stare with reverence and terror at the little pudgy woman dragging herself down the halls. They all saw what she did out there. Some of them eyed Kaidan as if to ask, ‘did that all really just happen?’ The ones who doubted her now got out of her way. She did not look at any of them.

As they made their way to the main thoroughfare, people were starting to peek out of their houses. They had to have heard the commotion just over the wall, and it seems the guards hadn’t yet gone around to tell anyone everything was alright now. Violet looked back at the noisy, albeit cozy Candlehearth. It didn’t seem to have suffered any despite being right near the wall.

“You were staying over in the slums?” She asked.

“Ran out of money.” He looked everywhere but at her.

“…Come on, then.” She sighed and led him inside. Everyone was all upstairs, murmuring quietly, about her, no doubt. She took a few septims, put them on the counter for the innkeeper, and went with him to her room, locking it behind them.

“Uhm?” He looked around. Her room was the best room in the house, with a large bed, a well-stocked bookshelf against one wall, a writing desk and chair, a chest to put her belongings, and a dresser covered in various potions and scrolls. “How…?”

She dropped the empty bottles on the dresser. “Alchemy money. Heal the sick for a price. Kill for a higher one. I told you. We’ll collect the two bounties from Ulfric’s steward in the evening, if you want. Fifty-fifty.”

“You actually met with Ulfric?”

“No. And of course he didn’t come out to help defend his city. For starting a war and being the talk of Skyrim, he sure is amounting to nothing.”

She unlaced her ponytail, letting her dreadlocks fall freely over her shoulders. She then undid her belts, robe pins, and boot laces, letting it all fall to the ground in a heap. She stretched and wobbled on tired legs, a stray crackle hinting her age.

“I…” Kaidan looked away and cleared his throat. Evidently, she had no sense of propriety either, which made sense considering her angry outbursts. …At least she’d also bought underwear.

“The city’s relatively safe now, there’s no reason to sleep in your armor. That’s a weird and uncomfortable thing to do anyway.” She went up to him and pulled at the buckles and clasps for his armor, clumsily fiddling at them since she’d never dealt with his special armor before. “And if you rolled over on me wearing that you’d shred me to pieces.”

“Wait a minute, you don’t really—” He tried to get away from her.

She rubbed her face. “Sleep. _Just_ sleep. Too tired to argue. It’s cheaper and makes more sense to just share a large room instead of hunting down the innkeeper and looking for a spare place. Plus, you killed a _dragon_. You’re in this shit now.”

That… that was one way to put it. He definitely didn’t want to walk back across town and toss and turn in a dingy back alley dump again, especially since she almost collapsed the building. It would take time to remember arguing with her was painful and costly. He sighed and helped her take off his armor, tossing it in a pile in the corner. He drew the line at the pair of linen pants he had on under his greaves.

“You hurt anywhere from jumping into that thing’s mouth like a damn fool?” She walked around him, checking his shoulders and arms. She noted his back was healed to pale scars.

He groaned. “You were just standing there in its way as if it wasn’t about to eat you in one bite.”

She stepped away from him, snapped her fingers, and hard needles of ice erupted all over her body, then retracted. Kaidan winced and took a step back. That would explain why she didn’t mind being alone with him. “Actually, it would’ve just broken its teeth and tongue on me. Then it would have gotten a spear to the brain. If anything, you made the same first strike. At least now I know your armor is at least as durable as ebony, if not more so.”

He leered at her. “I’ll ask again. How many of these things have you killed?”

“Enough. And there will be more. Time for bed.” She climbed into bed and slid over against the wall to make room for him.

He sat at the edge of the bed hesitating, then eased into lying down. Starfall had already curled around the pillow between them and was breathing slow and even. He supposed controlling the weather and bringing down a small apocalypse would be enough to drain even a Dragonborn. He looked her over. She looked to be a little older than him; her dozens of thick dreadlocks were marbled with grey throughout, and she had a few thin wrinkles here and there that were softened by her thick curves. Where most of his scars had been concentrated in one spot at the center of his back, hers were spread out everywhere. The edge of the one he’d seen earlier on her breast now looked as if some clawed humanoid had grabbed it and tried to tear it off. He winced and rolled away from her. Best not to ask or think about something like that.

Kaidan didn’t know if it was the soft bed, the exhaustion, or having her warmth beside him, but sleep was much easier to come by this time.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Confess your sins.

Kaidan awoke first, a few hours after the sun had gone down. He groaned and craned his neck to look around. This wasn’t the corner club; it was too nice. As he sat up, Starfall shifted away from him disturbing the bed. He had to think a moment before remembering that she had put him up for the night. Why she had done that he couldn’t figure; he thought she didn’t like him since he kept underestimating and trying to save her. On one hand, last night was irrefutable proof that she could tear across Skyrim with no one to stop her if she ever snapped. On that note, it was entirely possible for her to snap and tear across Skyrim with no one to stop her if anything pissed her off enough. She could be kind and gentle, or she could be cruel and brutal. He was still learning what caused which. That dragon was already dead, but she kept striking it with lightning as if it was personally responsible for her being ‘cursed’ as she called it. Then sucked out its soul. And she was here beside him, curled up in a little ball, fast asleep and perfectly innocent.

He slipped out of bed and went to go clean up and find food. Food would set his head right. He found a plain woolen shirt and as soon as he stepped out of the room, he was assaulted with food smells and chatter. The place was packed. Had the ice melted enough to open the gates? He went up to the innkeeper and tried to get her attention.

“What’s going on?”

“They’re here to see the Dragonborn!” Elda shouted over the din. Some of the people around them cheered.

“Oh…” he said. ‘Oh _no_.’ he thought. Another reason they should have moved further away from the city to fight the dragon. Starfall was going to be… very unhappy, to put it mildly. She did _not_ seem the type to be okay with crowds, or large amounts of unwanted attention.

He managed to get food amongst the crowd, snuck something for Starfall, then went back to the room. How was she still asleep? The noise should have driven her out of bed, and possibly the building. She wasn’t sick again, was she? Couldn’t be. Let her sleep. She earned it.

He ate his dinner at the table, peeking at the scrolls of notes she had written. Detailed information about the dragons, including types, biology, magic, intelligence, language, sightings, strategies, combat, and the alchemical applications of their entrails— It suddenly occurred to him that she usually _ate_ alchemical ingredients to test them. Oh gods, moving on… A diary of her powers and whatever her sickness was. The words ‘pain’ and ‘hunger’ were used a lot as he skimmed it. He felt like he was prying with that one and put it back. A scroll about ‘the mysterious Akaviri dragon knight from beyond the Sea of Ghosts’ laid on top of her worn and mistreated copy of _The Book of the Dragonborn_.

‘Hello…’ Is that what she thought he was? All the stories he’d ever heard said that the Akaviri were either dead or monster men, and he was neither. He was sort of disappointed to read that it was mostly dry, scholarly reading, which was fair since that’s what she was. A description of him, purely physiological and psychological. Not so much as a ‘dashing’ or ‘handsome’ anywhere. At least he got a ‘mysterious’ at the beginning. Analysis of his armor and weapons. Evidently specifically crafted to fight dragons? How did she come to that conclusion? But he did do better against it than he thought he would (bitten in half) on his first encounter. The dragon language on his sword. She copied the runes with a few letters translated. There were some other scribbles and runes about dragon language, but he couldn’t understand them.

“Wait a minute, she wrote all of this in a day?” He whispered to himself. There were several other papers on the dresser, and at least two dozen bottles and vials of various chemicals. And she had seen the jarl’s steward and secured a reward for the dragon (and some other thing she still hadn’t explained)? Half the time while they were traveling here, she couldn’t even walk in a straight line for more than a few minutes. As he read on, her writing started to get more impassioned and worrying. That ‘madness’ or whatever was in her head leaked out onto the paper…

“ _The Book of the Dragonborn calls Kaidan’s people ‘Akaviri’. The men / beast-folk from across the sea. Ancient invaders of Tamriel, and evidently the first dragon slayers. All of the information concerning them is either out of date by hundreds of years or written by obtuse fools. The Mysterious Akaviri says all the men were ‘eaten’ by the beast-folk. But if that’s so, then why are the Akaviri constructs around Tamriel depicting men and dragons, instead of beasts and dragons? Why have all records of them on Tamriel been hidden, destroyed, or obfuscated?_

_He is Dragonguard and I am Dragonborn. His people hunted and helped wipe out the dragons, but still prophesied my coming, of course by vague and flowery poetry. Where are the other Akaviri? The Thalmor brought us together. It’s almost too much of a coincidence. How much do they already know? How invested is the Aldmeri Dominion in seeing us succeed or fail, and at what? The book goes extensively into the royal blood of the ‘Blessed of Akatosh’. I am not of royal blood; I need no advisors, retainers, or courtiers. But I have a knight, now? If I haven’t turned him against me already with my instability. I have to keep him close for unknown reasons yet. Our 'fates' are intertwined. _

_Fate. Who awoke first, us or the dragons? The dragon resurgence is too recent. Kaidan looks to be in his late twenties, and I am only a few years older. There was nothing remarkable about my upbringing, and, considering he does not seem to know who or what he is, I doubt Kaidan’s was either. Why would we be awakened now instead of when we were not so broken by my illness and his tragedies? What if I were to simply ignore this calling, or worse, let my illness simply take me? What if I didn’t work to dwarf archmages and dragons alike and was instead struck down in my trials or locked up in the asylum? How badly does this Akatosh want me alive to fulfill whatever purpose? How much ruin could I cause before he would regret his decision, or better yet, revoke his ‘blessing’ altogether? What if I were to seek the help of other gods? Or to be more interesting, turn them against him for creating a tortured monster?_

_Perhaps Kaidan’s purpose is to guard everyone from a single dragon. He’s been trying from the start. I have to start trusting him for both our sakes._ ”

His eyes drifted over to her sleeping on the bed. They’d been in each other’s company for about a week, and she already knew more about him than he knew about himself. She wasn’t just bitter about her circumstances, she was ready to stir true chaos, and she didn’t even know her purpose or why she was chosen, yet. She really was turning out to be a danger to herself and others. And she knew it and was terrified.

He couldn’t leave now. She had answers. Hell, she already unwittingly dropped more information on him in a few paragraphs than he’d been able to find in his entire _life_. No one else cared to help or trust him with much of anything because he was an ‘Outlander’, and she did it out of pure curiosity. At first, anyway. Now it sounded like desperate necessity.

“Shit.” He rubbed his face and wondered if he could quietly get his armor back on and go get some air before she woke up and he had to tell her about her new admirers outside. The noise really should have been bothering her…

He went over to the bed and leaned over her. Starfall had uncurled from the pillow and was spread out face up, but her hair was everywhere, mostly covering her face and ears. He brushed some of her locks back and flinched when one sleepy, dark eye opened and her hand lifted his away from her.

‘Just tell the truth…’ he told himself. “I was seeing if you’d gotten sick again. You didn’t wake up from the noise, when that usually bothers you.”

She groaned. “Wax in ears. What noise?”

“You… poured wax in your ears? How are you hearing me—”

She let go of him and stuck her fingers in her ear, pulling out candle wax and cloth stuffing molded to the inside of her ear. As soon as it was out, her eyes bugged and her hand slapped back over it. “What the fuck is going on out there?!”

‘I’ve got to stop putting myself in this position.’ He sighed. “The guards saw you kill the dragon last night and probably passed it around. The old stories of the Dragonborn are coming to life. I suspect that we… you… were seen coming in here last night and killing a dragon is probably the first interesting news that hasn’t been about the war in a long time.”

“Tell them to go away.” She examined the earplug she pulled out, made a disgusted face, and tossed it away.

“I would if we weren’t in a public inn that we don’t own, and they weren’t all paying the actual owners more than we are to be here.”

“Fuuuck…” She hissed. “What time is it?”

“It’s after sundown. It might become even more crowded in here soon.”

“We should have hidden at your place in the slum.”

“I don’t think that would have helped. I brought you food, so you wouldn’t have to go out there.” He got up and went back to his chair.

Violet sat up in bed and quickly scraped pieces of wax off of the candle on the nightstand, making and inserting another set of earplugs. Instead of going to eat, she laid back down and stared at the ceiling.

“I want to thank you for being there. I had to do the last ones myself, and they were kind of messy because I was experimenting on them and figuring out how not to die. Without someone to keep me focused, I would have played with it to see what else I could find out or do to it. You were focused on keeping everyone safe.”

“Played with it?” Kaidan went pale.

“If I torture it enough, will it talk? Do _any_ of them know man or mer languages? What are their powers? Do they all know dragon magic? Do any know elven magic? What can I withstand if they shout at me? What other dragon spells are there? Can I stop it from disintegrating when I kill it? If I can, can I dissect it, and how long do I have to do it? Is it an edible animal? Can I refuse its soul? …Things like that.”

Now _there_ was that mage craziness that he really didn’t like. As far as he was concerned, dragons were a menace and the only thing to do was kill them. “Hm. I suppose I should say thank you for helping me on the bridge. I… I don’t like fire.”

“I don’t like it either, really. But I know you mean something else.” She said quietly. “Sorry.”

*

They spent a short while planning ways for Violet to leave the inn without being seen. The windows didn’t open. She didn’t have the ingredients to make an invisibility potion. There were too many people around to sneak out. Kaidan advised her against using any magic. She wasn’t about to try to reason with or appease them. She could use Kaidan’s cloak, but she was still sort of distinctive in being only a little taller than a Nord child and would draw attention with his cloak dragging the floor. Plus, they had been seen together last night. They didn’t dare mess with him, but Redguard women, while known to not put up with any indignity, were still not to be considered too much of a threat to a Nord man (despite her having completely smashed a man to pieces as well as the dragon).

“I guess the best thing to do is to take your cloak and sneak out the back door. Or I could just go back to sleep.”

“What do you want to do?” Kaidan asked.

She squeezed the pillow over her head, which muffled her voice. “I want peace and quiet.”

He thought for a moment. “I think I can find you a place. Let me get my things.”

They dressed, and using Kaidan’s cloak, she drew it over her face, then went first. She stayed low and quiet in the crowds all talking and laughing until she squeezed out of the door to the alley. Kaidan appeared a short time later, except Starfall was surrounded by a group of drunken revelers out back who were arguing about what the Dragonborn looked like. Her hands were covering her face, and if the men weren’t so loud, he would have heard her whimpering.

“Bah, only a true Nord could have the strength to kill one of those big bastards!” One man laughed.

“I’m telling you! I was on that wall! This cute little runt struck it down!” Another slapped her on the shoulder, almost knocking her down. “You tell ‘em how you blew it up and drowned it in the river!”

Kaidan was both amused and waiting for just before she would completely lose her patience.

“You. Are full. Of _shit_. One. Reds are fuckin' awful mages. Two. She's a runt. She couldn’t hold a skeever underwater. Draggin’ her over here trying to get one over on us.” He was slurring and ready to shove her.

‘Reds?’ Really? The growling got louder. She tried to sneak off, pleading with her eyes between her fingers for Kaidan to save her. He finally relented and swooped in.

“Oi, that’s enough. If she did or didn’t, she’ll never tell you. All that matters is that the dragon is dead.” He patted the believer’s back. “And maybe a hero just wants a little peace and quiet after saving the city, eh?”

“Bah, it’s time to celebrate! The Dragonborn is alive and the dragons are dying!” A third man pointed a finger at the two of them. “Don’t you listen to this idiot. A win is a win against those things, blade or staff. Some of the meanest, fiercest warriors I ever fought with were battlemages and shieldmaidens. Could probably win this war faster if we just—”

“Not this shit again. That daedra-worshipping horseshit is—”

Violet and Kaidan were already well down the street.

She groaned and hunched over. “I don’t like this city. Dragons, drunks, necromantic serial killers, racists, and an absent, so far useless leader.”

Kaidan shrugged. “You get used to them.”

“Do I have to?”

“You’ll need a lot of cooperation from various people to do whatever the grand destiny of Akatosh commands. I mean, I could easily go back to living off the land and not having anyone bother me, but I doubt you’d get very far if it turns out the whole Dragonborn thing is about something big like ending the civil war, or killing all the dragons, or reuniting the Empire.”

“If this ends up being about politics, I’m just going to have to let everyone die. I can’t be bothered.” She groaned and hunched over. “I got enough of that civil war shit in Hammerfell. Fucking Empire. Fucking Aldmeri Dominion. And they want me to somehow solve a centuries old conflict between a bunch of elves with their heads up their asses, and a bunch of religious wingnuts with their heads up Talos’ ass.”

“And speaking of Talos, we’re here.” He had led her to a large temple door and opened it for her. “No more anger. Just quiet here, eh?”

“You brought me to a _temple_? What did I say about—”

He rolled his eyes. “Stop. Listen. What do you hear in there?”

She was about to argue, but stopped herself and found that there was no sound coming from inside. It was dimly lit, and quiet. Mesmerized, she was drawn in. When Kaidan closed the door behind them, it was complete.

The inside looked to be a lot better maintained than the rest of the city itself. Swept tiled stone floors, quality candles and incense wafted from small hanging braziers, ornately carved benches, fresh flowers, intricate tapestries along the walls to soften any noise, and at the front of the large room, a large statue of a man holding a broadsword and stepping on a dragon’s throat. He took her to a bench towards the front and she was thankful no one else seemed to be there to worship. As she sat down, he reclined sideways on the bench in front of hers.

“It was either this, or the graveyard.” He whispered.

“At least it’s warm.” She leaned back and stared at the ceiling. Nothing fancy, just support beams and a cast iron chandelier that was unlit. She closed her eyes and dropped her head and shoulders back.

Kaidan watched her let go. She wasn’t high-strung, per se. But easily and rightfully stressed. They sat for a long time; even though she wasn’t given to praying, she became very still, and he could tell she was in ‘another place’ like some kind of praying priestess.

“Are we allowed to talk here?” She whispered.

“Aye. I’m surprised you want to break the silence, though.”

“…Four.”

“Four what?”

“Dragons. Their souls are mine. One at Dragonstar. One somewhere in the Falkreath forest. One by a city called Whiterun. And the one last night. I’ve been here for couple of months now, lost and alone, and getting more and more frustrated. You want to know why I call this unimaginable power a curse?”

He thought about it for a while, then nodded.

“Imagine the worst thirst and hunger of your life. The kind that makes the Thalmor starving you for a week seem like that space between breakfast and dinner. The all-consuming pain of not having eaten in weeks, but death never comes. Your mind starts to play tricks on you, and you hate everything, and your body gets so desperate that it starts _cannibalizing_ itself from the inside out. No one can help you; not the scholars, the healers, the holy men, or the unholy men. You’ve been fighting other pyrrhic battles for so long, survival at any cost is automatic. Any stupid-ass idea seems like a good one.

“So you get food. And you eat. And you gorge yourself. And it does nothing. The Hunger ignores the aloe and the milk and the whole fish and half a chicken and endless sweets and you keep fucking trying until you’re fat and _nothing works_. You move on to try eating things that aren’t food. Potions. Poisons. Drugs. Soul gems. Shards. A lesser gem of beasts. A godsdamned grand soul dremora lord, _beating heart_ and all. Blood. And the hole in your being is still there, whistling like a bottomless pit.

“And then you learn you’ve been _blessed_ , by getting chased out of town by a lizard the size of a building. You snap. And you turn that fucker _inside out_ , you’re so beside yourself with rage and hunger and confusion. And suddenly the hunger stops. It’s all gone. And so’s the dragon. And it’s replaced with the feeling like you could and fight all the gods at once and _win_. A flood of power trying to fit in a cracked thimble of a person. It’s got to drain off, and it’s almost as bad as the Hunger. And your health was never too good in the first place. But now you’re barely holding it together, and no one listens, and no one understands. But the flood drains with dragon magic. But the dragon magic tears you apart and brings back the Hunger. And then you have to find more souls to eat. I’m being _forced_ to do this, and I don’t even know what _this_ is. …There’s not going to be anything left of _me_ by the end of _this_. It’s just going to be the Hunger and the Power.” Her voice cracked all the way through, and tears streamed through her fingers covering her face.

Kaidan simply stared in horror. No wonder she was mad! There were no stories of great ones suffering. Only supernatural god-kings and heroes doing what needed to be done and dying valiantly. Why would Akatosh do this?! Starfall had drawn his cloak around herself and he could hear her sobbing and shaking. His teeth grit and he moved to sit with her.

“Starfall…” He carefully put his hand on her back, making her tense up again. “I… I read your scroll and research while you were sleeping. The one about me. I don’t know if you meant it for me. I can’t possibly know your pain. But my pledge to you still stands. In those words, you’ve both unlocked my past and future. I don’t mean to make you feel like you’ve done something wrong or like you can’t handle yourself. It sounds like you’ve been stronger than anyone I’ve ever met. And I’ll see you freed from your curse, in one way or another.”

Her crying only became louder until it filled the main hall. She threw herself across his lap and hugged around his waist. He didn’t know what to do with her, so he let her cry herself out.

After a long while, a priest appeared from one of the side halls and approached them slowly. He was a young, nervous-looking Nord and had something in his hand.

“I didn’t mean to listen in. I’m sorry. But she is truly the Dragonborn?”

Kaidan nodded, his demeanor a warning.

He stood beside their bench. “You struggle same as Talos did; given the Voice of the dragons and burdened heavily from it. He ascended to godhood through great deeds and bringing peace to all of Tamriel. And same as him, The Nine will realize your greatness. Talos will be proud to have you beside him.”

Violet, still shaking, refused to look up and dug her nails into Kaidan’s leg.

He rubbed her back. “He has something for you.”

She slowly pushed herself upright but kept the hood over her face. The young priest pressed an amulet hanging by a leather cord into her palm. She studied the intricate bronze axe and clutched it close to her chest. It actually pulsed with enough power for her to feel, which was confusing in itself; religious artifacts never relayed power to her before.

“Talos is the patron of those who study the Way of the Voice and will protect and fortify them in great need. He will help you.”

“Do any of the stories have him ask why Akatosh would make the Voice so painful?”

The acolyte frowned in thought. “I’m sorry. I don’t know. It’s only known that the Voice is only supposed to be used in ‘true need’. With Talos, it was lifting up all of Tamriel to keep it from tearing itself apart. For you to have come so far from your home, to brave great trials so far means something similar or worse is about to happen. And you already have people who have faith in you.”

She clutched the hood tighter over her head. “Then they’re idiots.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Killing a serial killer.

It took a long while for Violet to calm down. When she finally did, she took Kaidan’s cloak off and gave it back again. “Well, I confessed. When I said you were in this shit, I meant it. Since you’re a few months behind, I’ll tell you whatever you want to know, if I know it. Honest. I… really need help.” Her voice cracked again.

He scoffed. “Tell me exactly _how_ you need me. Because it sure isn’t about helping you take your frustrations out.”

“I’m lucid for now. I’ve had a soul, so I should be alright against that Hunger for a few weeks. I think. The Thalmor took my previous logs. When I’m soul hungry, I lose the ability to think straight, be rational, and my actual illness becomes insufferable. Basically, everything turns into the drive to ‘find food’. I know you were mad at me for wandering around when we were trying to get back to civilization. I get distracted and hear things, or I’m drawn towards something. I’m usually able to catch myself before it gets too bad. You were bringing me back, and you didn’t even know you were doing it.”

“I… I wasn’t mad. Just confused and a little frustrated. It made a little more sense when I understood just how keen your hearing is. I assumed you were finding things I couldn’t. Is that part of your ‘regular’ sickness?”

“Yes. Sound hurts enough it’s distracting. All of it. All the time. A skeever scratching under the floorboards. Blades being sharpened is the worst. Sudden noises like doors slamming and explosions. And whispering coming from stone hills. Or is that one a hallucination? I get those too, sometimes.”

He shuddered. “Oh gods… no. That’s not a hallucination. Those are called barrows. Mass tombs. I’ve been in a couple. Some of the dead down there are cursed. Angry, rotting, cold _un_ dead wandering around, protecting gods know what and killing anyone that comes in.”

“This is how you get necromancer problems.” Violet ran her hands over her face.

“The barrows are thousands of years old. Who knows what their traditions were about. And the dead are _still_ preserved down there, doing who knows what.”

“And now I’m going to be completely unsettled every time we pass one. Great.”

“You weren’t before?”

“I thought it was my mind going and I ignored it. Now I know that it’s people who are buried ‘alive’ for eons and want to murder the living.”

“Fair enough. So how in Coldharbor did the Thalmor capture _you_?”

“One, it’d already been a few weeks since my last soul. Thinking gets really difficult and I’ll make stupid mistakes. Two, it was a spy who said she had heard of a dragon in the mountains southeast of Whiterun and was looking for people to kill it and share the bounty. We get out there, and yes, there was a dragon attacking some village called Helgen, and people were running everywhere in chaos and on fire. But while I was doing all the work, about six Thalmor ambushed me. I probably could have killed both them and the dragon with a storm spell, but it turns out a solid strike to the back of the head still works even if my scalp is made of ebony.

“And then I woke up with what would be a normally lethal dose of magicka poison in my system and a sealed mouth full of rock salt. I’m guessing they ran from the dragon and it’s still out there because I still felt hungry. Then they waited for the salt to dissolve and me to dehydrate, making the soul hunger worse but also making it excruciating to talk, let alone shout. So… yes, the Thalmor know about me. But what’s more interesting, is that they seem to know about you, when even I didn’t know about you until after I met you.”

“Probably because I’m a little more distinctive being an Akaviri than you being a Redguard. And I can’t say my story isn’t similar. Though they didn’t lure me with a dragon. Seems I asked the wrong people about my sword and I was ambushed at my camp.”

Violet yawned and rubbed her face. Looking up, the narrow, stained glass windows were starting to brighten bit by bit. Crying on him had both tired her out and left an unsettling pit in her stomach. “Okay, that’s enough feelings. I never ate that food you brought me and maybe all those people will have given up and gone home. Then we can go get paid, and I can start planning to make my way to Winterhold.”

“We were only here for two days. Did you really have that bad a time here that you’re ready to leave already?”

“Oh, right. I said I’d explain the whole serial killer thing.”

*

Violet sat beside the cooking pot in Candlehearth’s kitchen, watching the fire crackle and the stew simmer. She didn’t usually eat in the middle of the night, but both forms of hunger were clawing at her chest and stomach, and she was trying to calm herself with the waving flames. There was far too much noise coming from upstairs, and it was making it a lot harder for her to concentrate. She was about to take a bowl back to her room when a tankard of ale flew down the hall and clanked against the back door, followed by a woman shouting. She flinched and leaned over to see who threw it.

“And then that grey bitch mouthed off to me! Lyin’ and sneakin’ around in the dark! Why was she out there after dark, huh?! Huh?! Don’t tell me to calm down!”

Violet narrowed her eyes. She didn’t care much about the other peoples of Tamriel, other than most of her dealings with these damned Nords made them out to be complete bastards. She had other shit to think about besides old grudges, ancient history, and general distrust. And now this drunkard was being gross and loud and—

He stumbled down the hall and wound up in the kitchen with her. ‘Ugh, no…’ she closed her eyes.

“And now a damn Red. What are you doin’ out of Hammerfell?” He slurred.

“Wondering the same thing, to be honest.” She muttered.

“We got enough trouble around here with all these fuckin’ elves, so if you’re not here to help with the war, you can just fuck off.”

Her eyes rolled up in her head. She mentally kicked herself for not just staying in her room and finishing her writing. Then a few scenarios and choice words involving sucking his soul out through his nose passed through her head. She just knew if she started anything with this idiot, she’d be to blame. After all, she was the stranger here, not him.

“I’m just trying to have dinner. Leave me alone.” She did not need red hot anger on top of everything else. It was hard enough trying to keep control. It was already burning her cheeks and chest, simmering right between her stomach and that drive to feed…

He kicked the cookpot off its stand and into the fire, ruining both, then leaned in entirely too close. His breath was nauseating, and face contorted to half mocking, half rage. He grabbed her hair to make her face him. “Make me.”

‘Guess this is how I get put in Windhelm jail, then.’ Her teeth ground hard enough the man probably could have heard if he’d been paying attention.

Her fist clenched with a white flash and she sucker-punched his throat, a gauntlet of hard-packed ice crushing his windpipe and jerking his head backwards hard enough she _almost_ regret it, as she realized it could have snapped his neck. He landed on his back and clawed at his throat, gasping for air.

“You said…” Her hand flexed and the ice cracked off in large pieces. She stood over him, waiting for him to get up so she could do it again. It was satisfying, and that hole in her chest wanted more.

Elda the innkeeper ran around the corner. “Damn it, Rolff, I knew you were going to cause trouble, you drunken oaf! Take it outside and stop harassing my customers!”

“Maybe a guard should drag him off to dry up somewhere.”

“Ffffuuhhhcking chh- cheeeating maaage bitch!” He wheezed and grabbed her ankle.

“And of course, he’s not done. Because I’m not allowed a moment of peace.” She grabbed him by the back of the collar and dragged him across the hall to the rear exit. The innkeeper gladly opened the door for her and Violet dropped him down the steps. “I should empty your pockets so you can pay for all that food you ruined.”

“Do it,” She cackled. “He’s been a pain in my ass forever, and he gets this way every few weeks.”

Rolff, thoroughly angered and humiliated now, stumbled to his feet, breathing hard and glaring daggers. “You should be staying in the slums with the elf trash. Nobody asked for your red ass to come here and get in our way. Rolling over for those Aldmeri shits just like everyone else.”

She wanted to turn around and slam the door in his face. But that seething anger melted seamlessly into that hole in her chest, making it howl new thoughts in her head.

_Maybe a human soul is as good as a dragon’s. You haven’t tried that yet…_

“Actually, _Akatosh himself_ asked me to come all the way out to this frozen _wonderland_. Know what he said?” She grinned, unsettling both the innkeeper and the drunk.

A small, single word and the frozen cobblestone stairs exploded into large crystals in front of the man, making him stumble backward and fall on his rear. Starfall cough-laughed through her pain, spitting a bit of blood at his feet. The man sobered up as he realized that wasn’t any kind of normal magic she just shouted at him. A literal, out-loud curse. Her face changed to something terrifying and otherworldly. Her eyes drilled into him; something was very, very wrong behind them. He turned and ran around the corner.

Violet suddenly turned to the innkeeper, her features returning to normal, but her voice raspy. “Don’t worry, just going to scare him straight. Maybe beat a little more sense into him. I’ll return in a while.” She lied through her teeth and walked after him into the night. The innkeeper slowly and shakily closed the door and locked it tight.

The chase only lasted a few minutes. She could hear Rolff clearly; he was stumbling and wheezing as he ran through side-streets and alleys trying to lose her, and she would narrowly ‘miss’ him with an ice spear smashing into a wall near his head. ‘That’s it, you disgusting piece of skeever shit. Just a find us a nice alley where we can have a much more _intimate_ chat…’ As they went through a winding icy street, a crosswind from an alley carried a woman’s muffled screams into her ears. Probably an argument. Then she heard cloth ripping and the unmistakable sound of a blade scraping stone, the screams getting more frantic and pained.

‘SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT!’ She was ravenous, driven, violently enraged, and now that bastard was going to get away. Someone was going to get their soul ripped out tonight, and the Hunger was starting to tell her it didn’t matter who’s it was. Then that howling, sucking black hole inside her hit fever pitch.

_The one at Kynesgrove can hear you, you know._

Starfall put her hood up and ducked into the shadows of the alley. Her eyes couldn’t tell her enough, so she pulled at one of her earplugs just enough to let more sound in. In a corner a few feet away, a man was holding a Dunmer woman down against the ground. One hand was over her mouth, the other clumsily trying to stab her, but she was fighting back with everything she had. She bit his hand, only to have him draw the knife across her arm towards her chest.

‘Just what is my luck?!’ She had to stifle a laugh.

Violet snuck up behind him and jammed an ice spear into the side of his neck with enough force to throw him off of his victim and into the light of the main street. He lay face up for only a few seconds, his blood flowing between the street tiles, then boiling the ice away and crawling back into the wound. He sat up and glared directly at her.

'And a necromancer!' she almost screamed. Everything about tonight was one Oblivion gate opening one after another. He wasn’t going to die to a simple spear. The amount of hate coursing through her at this point over the entire situation, night, and city was near blinding.

_Kill two dragons with one shout._

Just as he was getting to his feet and saying something Starfall completely ignored, the ice all along the street jumped up at him with the force of an avalanche. Three words and the roar of hundreds of pounds of ice and snow echoed throughout the city and against the mountains behind it. The building they stood in front of crackled as stone and plaster crumbled into the pile of red slush that used to be human.

_If it doesn’t respond to this, then we’re going to need a LOT of black soul gems_ —

All of the Oblivion gates slammed shut at once, including the one whispering madness in her ear, when Kaidan ran out of the building. At least until he saw her face and what she’d done. There was _that_ face again. Disgust, incredulity, and that hint of worry that he would be next.

_Oh, Kaidan. Not you. Never you. You’re a part of **this**._

*

They talked a little more, and by the time they made it back to the inn, Kaidan was shaking his head.

“Do you get into this kind of trouble frequently? I’ve been with you a week and this is more action than I’ve seen in months, and I actually go out of my way to seek trouble out.”

“Yes.” She growled through grit teeth.

“Maybe it’s a side effect of being the chosen one.” He smirked.

“Oh gods. Don’t say that or call me that. Whoever _chose_ me for this is going to _pay_.”

“You don’t even know what you’re supposed to do yet.”

“You call yourself a Nord, what do you know about the old stories about the Dragonborn?”

He hummed as he thought. “Hmm… Well, the first one was given the Voice by a dragon, only for him to abuse it. He fought against the dragons enslaving humanity, but then turned around and tried to use it against other humans in a war. He lost, so he spent the rest of his days studying the true power of the Voice.”

“I’ve been using the dragon magic on humans. I better not get punished even more for it.” Violet opened the door to the inn and checked before going in. Almost everyone had given up and gone home or to work. She breathed a sigh of relief and went straight to her room.

Kaidan sat at the table and picked up another scroll. “I know it’s a little late to ask, but can I read the rest of these? I was just curious about myself, but it also seems easier to understand you in writing than getting you to talk.”

“Sure. I didn’t take you for much of a reader.” She scoffed. “Most Nords don’t. Or can’t. Can’t say I’ve seen any schools here.”

“Yes, I can _read_ _and_ _write_. I wasn’t some unwanted orphan. I had someone to raise me and train me to survive.” He rolled his eyes. “I just don’t have many opportunities to read. If I’m not looking for work, I’m looking for someone who knows about my sword and investigating the Merethic ruins.”

“You mean the barrows?” She took a vial off the dresser and sat down across from Kaidan to the plate of cold potatoes and leeks. After thinking on it, she decided she couldn’t be bothered to reheat them and ate them as they were, washing them down with the potion and water.

“Aye. The undead I mentioned. They’re only up and around because they’re guarding something. But I’ve never found out what. I always wind up at locked puzzle doors with no key.”

“Mmm. Well there has to be one somewhere. Though if it’s not in the barrow, then it could be anywhere in Skyrim, which is not helpful.”

Kaidan shrugged and kept reading as Violet focused on her food. “Oi. Starfall…”

“Mm?”

“What did you mean by, ‘my tragedies?’”

She rolled her head back and forth as she tried to find the right words. “You were nearly killed in some kind of fire. At least, that’s how your back reads. And confirmed on the bridge the other night. That and the part where you seem to be the only Akaviri, to the point you didn’t even know what you were because no one else did. But mostly the back thing. Like, when I was healing you in the prison, the old scars looked worse than the new wounds, and that’s with the fact that your spine was nearly exposed.”

He self-consciously reached back and tried to feel where her hands had been. She could divine all that just from looking back there? Just what did it look like?! “And yet, you can’t divine our futures.”

She heard his tone. “I’ll… try not to… um. Do that. Unless there’s some sort of thing you want to know about. But I’ll leave your past alone. I didn’t think you’d read it. Just… mad ramblings.”

*

Violet took a short nap, and by the time they made their way to the palace, it was midday.

“I should go gloat at Wuunferth. He said I’d get eaten. He’s also an ass.” She huffed.

“Who is Wuunferth? And I’d rather you not cause trouble. At least until we collect the money.”

“Should. Not will. Wuunferth is UIfric’s court mage, though I don’t think someone like Ulfric wants much to do with magic, if the other Nords I’ve met are any indication. The steward is decent enough, though. …I forgot to take proof that I killed that man.” She groaned and hit her palm to her forehead.

“You didn’t leave anything but icy gore,” he said flatly.

“He had a strange looking dagger he stabbed the woman with. I probably could have taken it to Wuunferth and he could have identified it.”

“What, like a ritual dagger?”

“I don’t know, probably. He was necro trash.”

As soon as they got to the center table, half the room surrounded them, guards to Ulfric himself. Violet grit her teeth and tried not to hide under the table. Kaidan was there, and that was of some help, but over a dozen people all talking to and at her at once overwhelmed her. Finally, Jarl Ulfric and steward Jorleif silenced everyone, and he sat beside her.

“So, you’re the one who shows up with a dragon on her heels and makes a show of blowing it and a piece of my city to bits. Hello, Dragonborn.” Ulfric eyed her up and down.

“Just Starfall, um—”

“‘My jarl’.” Kaidan whispered.

“That doesn’t make any sense, he’s not my jarl, I’m not a citizen.”

“Starfall, please.” He shook his head.

Ulfric waved it off. “It’s alright. I also seem to remember an extremely… spirited Redguard mage causing much deserved stress to the Thalmor at Helgen. Good lass.” Ulfric laughed.

She sighed. “You laugh because you escaped by the skin of your teeth. I got dragged off to a secret prison by the Thalmor and almost had my _Voice_ taken away.”

Ulfric’s general, Galmar, slammed his fist on the table and made Violet flinch. “Elven dogs! Where?!”

Kaidan took over. “We were being held about a week south of here where the three rivers meet, a day northwest of Eldergleam. They’re already dead, but someone will probably come looking for them when no one reports back.”

Ulfric nodded to Galmar. “Send a small force there to secure the site and kill any enemy forces. Lurking this deep into our territory is going to cost them dearly.”

“Gladly!” The general practically jumped to his feet, grabbed two guards, and ran out of the room.

Violet stared after him. “Wish I had that kind of intensity.”

“He is part of the reason we’re winning this war. His resolve is stronger than a mountain. But we’re not here to talk about Galmar, are we?”

“No. We’re here to collect the bounty on the dragon, and I also solved the recent murders in the city by finding and stopping the serial killer in the slums. A necromancer, who was in the middle of trying to subdue a victim. There’s an elf with a scar on her arm there who’ll confirm my story.” She left out how she found him completely by accident. Done was done.

One of the guards spoke up. “That godsawful mess in front of the corner club was _you_? By Talos, woman! Couldn’t you have just stabbed him or reduced him to ashes? That took _all day_ to clean up!”

Starfall rolled her eyes. “Like I said, he was in the middle of killing someone else, and shouting him to death literally killed two dragons with one spear. Which reminds me. Jarl Stormcloak. I have a request. I need you to tell me everything you can about the Voice. I may be Dragonborn, but it’s a title thrust upon me with no warning, instruction, or preparation. I’ve almost died twice now, the Voice _itself_ is killing me, and I don’t even know _why_.”

Nearly everyone around her went silent. Violet suddenly wanted to disappear. What rule had she broken now?

“Or not…?”

Ulfric shook his head. “I’m sorry, Dragonborn. I may have the Voice, but I’m no Dragonborn myself. Us mere mortals are also capable of using Thu’um. I studied for years at the Throat of the World with the Greybeards just to be able to use one word. They’re calling you, you know. Surely, you’ve heard it. ‘Do-vah-kiin.’ And no, I can only guess that you are here because the dragons have reawakened.”

“No, I haven’t heard anything. But it doesn’t make any sense! It may take a few extra people, but any-gods-damned-body can kill one of those things! Meanwhile I’m wandering around like a fucking vampire because Akatosh is no better than Molag Bal!” She smashed her fist on the table, and every tankard, goblet and cup on the table exploded into a splash of ice crystals. Everyone backed away from her and the table, while the guards closed in.

Kaidan carefully put his hand on her shoulder. “Careful, Starfall. Is this what you were talking about last night?”

She took a deep breath and hid her face in her hands, nodding.

“Can you control it?”

She thought on it for an uncomfortably long time, then shook her head no.

“Then leave. I’ll finish things here.” He helped her to her feet, since she wouldn’t take her hands away from her face.

The guards led her outside, and as soon as the palace door closed, all of the cups melted and returned to normal.

“You have a war to fight, she has hers.” Kaidan told Ulfric.

“At least I know what I’m here for. In a way, it’s a little easier. I do not envy her.”

“And I think it’s best if it doesn’t leave this hall. She has enough enemies in the dragons and Thalmor.”

Ulfric nodded curtly and motioned for his steward to finish their business. Kaidan wanted it done as quickly as possible before he found Starfall outside trying to summon Akatosh so she could tear into him. Hopefully she had slightly more sense and went to hide somewhere instead. When he left the palace, he found her sitting on the steps next to a brazier. One of the guards sat with her, nodding and talking. He got as close as he could to listen without disturbing them.

Starfall was ranting. “I mean, I would have thought that at least the king would be able to help me, but I’m still down to doing my own research and dragging my tired ass all over Skyrim following rumors and thousand-year-old hearsays. I would think people would want these lizards gone as soon as possible!”

The guard raised her eyebrow. “Oh wow, you really are new to Skyrim, aren’t you? Ulfric isn’t the High King. Yet, anyway. He's the jarl or governor of this province, Eastmarch. He _killed_ the High King in honorable combat, and once the war is over, the rest of Skyrim's jarls will convene at a moot to choose him as the new High King.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Starfall groaned.

“Told you, you came at a great time.” Kaidan sat behind her. “Neighbor against neighbor, brother against brother, and we’re caught in the middle. Are you going to be okay?”

“There were too many people in there. And again, nobody can help me…”

He raised his eyebrow. “He did, actually. It’s just not the help you _wanted_. We have to go back southwest to the Throat of the World and meet with the Greybeards.”

“I don’t understand anything before or after ‘southwest’.”

“Oh! The Throat of the World is the highest mountain in Skyrim. You can actually see it from Kynesgrove. The Greybeards are an ancient order of monks who study The Way of the Voice. Not that I know how that works since I’ve never made the pilgrimage to ask them. I would think they also study prophecy related to it. You just have to have more faith.” The guard patted Starfall’s back, picked up her spear, and went back to her post.

“There, you see? Now we don’t need to go to Winterhold and spend weeks in some musty old library writing boring book reports.”

“I’m a scholar, Kaidan. Boring book reports is what I _do_. Not climbing a mountain and likely getting lost in blinding snow and shoved off a narrow cliff by a goat before I get to the top.”

“Scholars also don’t wait to get eaten by a dragon just to see what will happen, and then get mad when they don’t die and disintegrate it with lightning. Either way, you’re going to have to go up there. We can go now, or after you’ve exhausted all your books that are probably ‘hundreds of years out of date’ or ‘written by obtuse fools’.” Kaidan said.

She rolled her eyes. “You just don’t want to go to the college because you think all mages are dangerous and crazy.”

“You don’t want to climb a mountain because you’re _lazy_ and want to sit around and read in a cozy chair.” He shot back.

“It is perfectly reasonable to not want to die alone on a mountain or fall off of it.” She grumbled and moved to go back to the inn. “How about _you_ go to the Greybeards, _I_ go to the college, and we meet somewhere in… hmm, three weeks’ time. Compare notes and figure out where to go from there.”

“Sorry, no. Ulfric said they’re looking for _you_ , Dragonborn.”

“You’re just going to keep calling me that, aren’t you?” Her head rolled back.

“You would prefer _Dovahkiin_?”

Him saying her title made her chest tighten. “You shouldn’t invoke the dragon language.”

“Starfall, then.”

“Please.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Make a plan, and stick to it.

It was a good while before they could agree with where they should go.

“It’s not just the books. I need proper clothing, enchanted equipment, someone might know enough alchemy or restoration to help with my illness, and I also need to keep working with masters to improve my skills.” Violet said as she wrote in one of her parchments.

Kaidan stopped counting the reward money and looked at her as if she were spouting nonsense. “Improve? I thought you were already a master! You want to become even more dangerous?!”

“I’m a master of some kinds of magic, yes. Not quite an archmage, and it feels like whatever has dumped itself in my lap will require more tricks than I’ve got.”

“It seems more to me that you could stand to use a little more practical knowledge on how to adapt to your new home. You may not like it here, but you’re going to be here in Skyrim for a long time, I think. Climbing mountains, navigating the harsh terrain, not contracting diseases from the local wildlife, learning our customs, and finding peace here where you can.” He thought about all of the trouble she could have avoided if she’d either used a little more sense or just asked. She did say she was more used to doing things on her own. Plus, it was obvious she was spoiled by life in a city.

Violet cringed. Could he not keep track like this? The fever could have happened to anyone. At least he wasn’t smug about it. “Have you been to this Throat of the World?”

“No. No one really goes there unless they’re on a pilgrimage. Not really religious, myself. Not like most Nords, anyway.” He mumbled.

“So, the Greybeards are some kind of religious sect? And they treat dragon magic as some kind of religion. You’re not selling this trip too well. They better not start praying or chanting over me.”

“It’s not like you're here to have fun in the first place.”

“I’m not here to make myself as miserable as possible, either.”

‘Could have fooled me.’ He thought. “Then get the “worst” part over with now. I’ll even teach you all you need to know about Skyrim along the way.”

She finally stopped writing. “Fine, you win. How far away is the holy mountain?”

“Back to the south. There’s no easy way to reach it, so we’ll need to go to Whiterun, then make our way west to Ivarstead.”

“I can’t keep asking you about places because I have no idea what you’re talking about. I mean, I’ve been to Whiterun for a little bit, but before I could go anywhere else, I was captured. I need to buy another map.”

“And a cloak so you’ll stop taking mine. Here. 750 septims.” Kaidan pushed several stacks of coins to the other side of the table.

Violet scraped them into her pack. “I make more than this from alchemy, and it’s more reliable. You’d think a dragon would pay more.”

“Probably more like the war’s drained their finances.” He took his share and put it in a bag on the back of his belt. “We can spend the rest of the day preparing for the trip. Maybe buy you an actual weapon. Magic runs out and it can’t solve every problem.”

“Any problem it can’t solve can be your problem, then. And I have weapons, you’ve just never seen them.” She formed a black and purple ball of Daedric energy by cupping her hands together, then spread them wide to mold the ball into an aethereal bow.

“Huh... But you can’t summon it unless you have magical reserves. Also, isn’t that thing Daedric?” He reached out and touched it, only for it to dissolve into flames and disappear. He raised his eyebrows upon learning that the fire was cold.

“It actually takes very little energy to summon simple objects. And stealing _objects_ from them is fine. Actually bringing _them_ into this plane is where most mages go horribly wrong. And again, alchemist. As long as I have potions, I have unlimited reserves. Though I probably only get away with half of what I drink because of my high poison tolerance.”

“So, magic is a lot about bending rules.”

“It’s not all sinister. Think of it like this. There’s entire worlds’ worth of knowledge out there. Beyond Nirn. Beyond Oblivion, even. Beyond the Daedric planes. And we barely get to touch a drop of it. What if there’s cures out there? What if we’re so close to something that will change all of Tamriel for the better?”

“What if right beside it is another Oblivion Crisis?” He took a drink of his ale.

‘This is going to be a trial.’ She shook her head and went back to writing.

*

They spent the rest of the day making lists and budgeting the money. Violet found a map, a cloak, and snuck a few sweet rolls into the front pocket of her bag. Kaidan sharpened his weapons, bought better arrows (“I’m not getting ebony arrows, unless you’re paying. …I thought not.”), and bought in on a few survival tools they both needed but had lost. They spent one last night at Candlehearth, making plans and asking each other questions, hoping to have a better grasp of what the other was capable of.

“I can make a potion out of most things, and poisons if you want to deliver something extra on the edge of your sword. Most mages are enchanters, but I’m really only able to appraise items, and capture souls to power those items. If you’re uncomfortable with soul trapping, I’ll refrain, but it’s going to leave us with little to work with if we find anything that requires them.”

Kaidan pulled a face. “You talk about it like it’s the same as catching food.”

“Enchantments don’t happen on their own. They’re powered by life energy. If something better is out there, we haven’t found it yet. Your armor is an ancient enchantment that’s not used anymore. I don’t know if the Akaviri used soul power, but they probably did.”

“I don’t know much of anything about them.”

“Almost no one does. All records of them are almost completely gone, save for a footnote in ancient history books. Only reason I figured it out is because you’re not mer, beast, or Tamrielan, and the Thalmor holding us together were particularly interested in our connection with the dragons.”

“Hmm. But I can’t be the last…”

“I have no way of knowing either way. But Tamriel is a big place. And if the Greybeards know dragon magic, then they can probably translate your sword, and I can make some sense of the runes I know and what that dragon said.”

“There you go, then. Besides, they probably have plenty of prophecy, legend, history, and spell books for you to read. They have to have something to do up there between meditating and staring off the side of the mountain.”

“I don’t know which is worse, wandering the wastes, dying of thirst while looking for some sand sage, or looking for mountain monks.”

“Ah, so you’re also a bard. Tell some tales during the ride to Whiterun?” He grinned.

“Ugh. No.” Violet groaned. “Anyway, besides being diplomatic, dashing, and daring—”

“You’re doing it again.”

“—what are you bringing on this little misery journey?”

“It’s not a ‘misery journey’. I’m not going to tell you to stop being cynical; that’s your right, and I understand. I’m just saying it doesn’t help. And I’m just a mercenary, hunter, and tracker. Hired muscle. I’d like to think I’m a capable swordsman and marksman, but I’m completely incapable of using any kind of magic. I don’t know if it’s just me or something that is Akaviri. Not that I’d be caught dead using it anyway.” He crossed his arms. “I don’t know anything about enchanting, or much about alchemy, but I can work a forge. I can cook enough that we won’t starve.”

“Your roasted pheasant and spiced leeks _are_ good…”

“I suppose I know how to haggle with shopkeepers only because it’s just what we Nords do. You’ll learn to do it too, in time. You might think I have a silver-tongue, but that’s only because you… Wait… You think I’m _dashing_?” Kaidan didn’t quite know what to do with this…

“Just alliteration.” She shrugged.

“…Oh.” He cleared his throat and went back to occupying himself with planning. “That’s definitely a bardic thing, by the way.”

*

A bit before the sun rose, Violet and Kaidan quietly left the city and headed to the stables near the bridge.

“Shame they didn’t pay us enough for our own horses.” Kaidan looked over a sturdy black work horse that leaned towards him and nickered for attention. He patted its nose.

“I’m fine with that. Means I don’t have to take care of it. Got more important things to do and no home to go to. Plus, no inevitable sadness when a dragon swoops down and tears it in half trying to get at us.” Violet went around the side to look for the hostler.

Hearing her say that made him cringe and remember what they were up against. “…Maybe _after_ we’ve gotten rid of the dragons, then.”

“Maybe,” she said quietly. She finally found the hostler around back, tending the small farm of carrots and potatoes. She asked about carriage passage to Whiterun and learned that the driver would probably be along within the hour. Instead of waiting at the stable, she walked to the other side of the bridge and went down to see the dragon’s skeleton.

It had half sunk into the river before the water froze around it. Its skull, neck, and parts of one wing rose above the water, as if it was still trying to claw its way out. Scavengers had come and taken pieces of bone and flaked scales. She leaned against the side of the bridge and stared at it for a long time before Kaidan came to join her.

Kaidan walked up to the shore as if he wanted to go out and touch it. “Even the skeleton is terrifying. And how many more of those things are there? The miners said there’s another dormant burial mound right on top of the mine. And we probably won’t be back here for a while.”

“Then Ulfric’s going to have to come out and do his job.” Violet scoffed. “Want to see it better, now that it’s dead?”

“Well… I—” Before he could decide, Starfall waved her hand over the river. A path of ice solidified between them and the skeleton, the top gritty and slushy to give it traction. He went slowly at first, the ice creaking and crunching from his weight.

She followed behind him, then approached the skull and ran her gloved hand over the muzzle. “As far as I can tell, the dragon decays back down to what would be left if it hadn’t been raised. And I’ve never seen just how or what causes them to raise up. It all sounds like necromancy on the face, but I don’t know much about it.”

“Magic you don’t know about?” He scoffed.

“I don’t know a lot. You’re just easily impressed. And necromancy is an abomination, defiles the dead who’ve earned their rest, and doesn’t seem to do anything that necromancers hope it does, like bring people back properly or give them eternal lives. I still agree with Yokudan beliefs on that. I also made a promise with my elders that I would not work any magic that would dishonor the traditions in exchange for being allowed to live freely. Had I known all _this_ shit was coming...”

“And the Daedric dealings?”

“They were right about the planes of Oblivion being too dangerous. I’d only summoned a daedra _once_ because I didn’t know how the Hunger worked yet, and it almost cost me my life. Although I do get to say that I’ve pulled a dremora lord's heart from his chest and eaten it in front of him. I can’t even tell you how disappointing it is that daedra hearts taste absolutely awful.”

“That’s barbaric!” Though Kaidan stopped himself before saying anything else.

“Didn’t say it wasn’t. A sickly little human not only beating these monsters twice and ten times her size, but outdoing their insanity and cruelty? How horrible are things going to get before this is over? What kind of monster will the history books say the Dragonborn is?” She noticed there was still a preserved tooth left in its mouth and dug the iron dagger out of her pack to try and pry it loose.

“You don’t have to become a monster, Starfall.” He helped her out by punching it with his clawed gauntlet until it dislodged, then handed it to her.

She held up the tooth; it was as large as her head, and now that the dragon was dead, dulled down from age. She strapped it to the side of her pack. “I feed on _souls_ , Kaidan. Not even daedra do that. Souls fuel the dragon magic, so I _need_ them. The first one showed me that ice spell by example. Then when I absorbed its soul, I knew its power. Repeated it. Screamed it so loud even the bones shattered back into sand.”

He considered how difficult that balance must be for her to hold. “That power humbles you, and scares you, and will even drive you, but it isn’t you. You _are_ powerful, but kind. You saved my life. You saved that woman in the Grey Quarter, prevented who knows how many more murders, and gave peace and justice to the dead. You saved _two_ cities from being burned to the ground. You call yourself a scholar and not a warrior, but you move as a shieldmaiden would. Protecting, but also with a fierceness to match the gods. You’re trying to understand what’s happening instead of just going on a murderous rage and destroying everything. I can’t say that we won’t face more terrible circumstances like the prison, especially now that we’re sure to be hunted by the Thalmor. But even being on the verge of madness, you still made …sort of… rational decisions. For whatever else, I’ll try to keep you grounded and on this side of the Shivering Isles.”

“You’re definitely not a Nord. Too eloquent.” She snorted.

Kaidan rolled his eyes. “The first step to getting people on your side is to stop treating us like we’re all savage ice trolls. Nords can be cold, stubborn, and rash, but that’s part of surviving in such an inhospitable land. Skyrim tempers everyone who sets foot in it. Many of your people live and fight here too, you know.”

Violet bristled. “…Let’s see if the carriage is here.”

*

They paid Alfarinn the driver for passage to Whiterun, offering protection in exchange for a discount. Traveling with her was admittedly easier now that she couldn’t wander off and stall progress every few minutes. Though now she simply lay on the floor of the cart and stared at the sky. She didn’t even complain. Not that he was complaining about that. He’d tried to talk to her a few times, but she gave short, disinterested grunts. He’d had more luck talking to Alfarinn. Unless she was just trying to concentrate and shut out whatever madness was squirming around in there. Despite hearing her side of the story outside of the corner club, her look of deranged anger over her ordeal was still frightening.

The first day traveling west was completely uneventful, and they spent the night at a small place called the Nightgate Inn. They rented their own rooms, and Violet was happy for the quiet hideaway compared to the inn at Windhelm. Kaidan decided not to bother her and instead sat outside by the lake, watching the moons and stars reflect on the water. He took a smooth, round rock from between his feet and studied it, then flung it into the frozen lake. It smacked the ice with a hard, echoing clack and left a small spiderweb of cracks. He did it a few more times with larger rocks until he had made the web take up most of the lake.

Even now, though he had a mission, his heart began to wander. Even for just a few hours just to be with nature. The two moons, Masser and Secundus were a beautiful view, but not very useful for lighting. Then there was the foolishness of wandering the woods in the middle of the night. There were still maybe another two days to Whiterun. The bitter cold might have been deterring anyone west of Windhelm, but they would be heading to the slightly warmer south tomorrow and more opportunities to get into trouble. He'd been to Whiterun before; a merchant city in the heart of Skyrim and very likely to be suffering because of the war. Mostly good people, though he didn’t spend time in the posh upper district or in the company of the jarl except to turn in a bounty. Here was hoping Starfall wouldn’t get into as much trouble there.

He went back inside to warm up before bed, listening to the soft lute music to try and ease his mind before something told him to leave and not come back.

*

It was too bumpy in the carriage for Violet to try and write. She’d been able to afford a hardbound, gilded leather book from a grey market store in the Windhelm slums, just so she could cut down on carrying so many scrolls and scraps of paper. The weather was biting cold, there was nothing to see but mountains and trees, and she couldn’t get out of the wagon to pick up more ingredients or investigate anything. Kaidan kept trying to make conversation, but she just didn’t feel much like keeping one up. It was probably going to be about her past, or about some ruin they were passing. Her mind was quiet and sated enough now that she didn’t mind being in it, and she knew that if she started in on her ongoing magical research, he’d be the one to turn disinterested. She put her knapsack on the floor of the cart and used it as a headrest, staring up at the sky, though Kaidan’s knees and occasionally his face blocked the view.

“Are you alright?” He leaned over her.

“Fine. Bored.”

“Want me to tell you about what we’re passing, then?”

“No.”

“I’m not a great storyteller, and I doubt that you’ll want to hear about how I once wrestled a sabercat when I was twelve.”

“Hmm.”

“Alright then.” He gave up and went back to keeping watch.

Once they reached the Nightgate Inn in the evening, she had barely helped Kaidan and the driver with the cart before she went to her room and started writing in her book. The somewhat quiet (the cart did creak a lot as it rumbled over Skyrim’s crude, barely there roads) ride had given her much to think about, and she wanted to record it all on paper before she forgot. The one good thing about Skyrim was that it was a completely new environment that allowed her to test her magic and come up with new experiments. Her alma mater Elinhir may have allowed her some freedom, but the cold wetness of Skyrim was letting her elemental magic go wild, not to speak of the dragon magic. She wasn’t sure if it was inexperience, the Hunger driving her insane, or the dry heat of the region, but the first dragons at Dragonstar and Falkreath’s border were much more difficult to kill. Not that she was going to tell Kaidan that; it was sort of nice to have someone be so impressed with her.

Kaidan said that it was another two days to Whiterun. She didn’t remember much about it, other than being dragged through the streets by the guards to go see the jarl… At least the weather was milder in the south. She could control her body temperature well enough, but the slow, sustained mana drain was annoying to maintain, especially when they had first escaped the prison. Though climbing a mountain was probably going to wind up being even worse than the area they were in.

‘The mountain is later. Now is a quill and paper in a warm bed.’ Violet gripped the book to steady it across her lap. The soft music from the main room wafted into hers and she wished there was a little more privacy in the form of a door. She leaned out to see who he could possibly be playing for this late, only to see Kaidan reclined by the hearth and looking sleepy.

‘Just alliteration.’


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A new enemy and old allies.

A bit before sunset of the second day, they passed along the southward road and Kaidan pointed out the temple on top of the holy mountain. It was barely visible through the clouds and sheer height of the mountain.

“That’s going to be a bitch to climb.” Violet grumbled.

“Yes. Which is why we’re going to make sure we’re prepared at Whiterun, and then Ivarstead. Maybe it’ll take some of that softness off you from sitting around reading.”

“It's not from sitting around reading. It’s from trying to fill in the soul hunger with food. It’ll go away in a while now that I’ve figured out what it is. And it’s not like it hinders me any when it counts, like fighting. I don’t move fast, but like you said, magic is about bending the rules.”

“You shouldn’t rely on magic so much.” He warned her.

“I use the tools I’ve got. Magicka and miracles.”

“Those miracles come at a price.”

“I know, Kaidan.” She snapped, then relented. “I know.”

He left her alone after that, and they traveled in silence until the darkness had well set in. Alfarinn needed to give his horse a rest but there wasn’t an inn, so they found a semi-protected rock overhang well off the road and made camp. Violet put her ice traps out around the perimeter and took out her earplugs. Kaidan and Alfarinn set up everything else, creating a campfire, unhitching the horse, and bringing out food and bedrolls. All the while, they talked about Whiterun, hoping Starfall was at least absorbing some of the information.

Violet decided to take first watch, wanting to get away and be by herself. She slipped between the wards after she was sure they were asleep and flicked a mage light out into the darkness. It rolled close to the ground, searching for anything interesting. Small animals all over the field were navigating around her curiously, but carefully. She was especially captivated by the tiny dancing lights weaving through the tall grass. As she got closer, she tried to lure them with her own tiny light and found that they were green moths and yellow beetles. She wanted to study them, so she let some land in her palm, then encased them in ice and put them in her pocket. Before she had realized it, she had wandered a good distance away.

“Okay. All I have to do is backtrack. The glowbug bushes, the fluffy cotton, the pond, the fire.” She turned around and kept her magelight tiny and low like one of the bugs, so as not to attract attention. She looked for anything high she could climb on to see further out, and only found a small hill. Once she reached it, she noticed it was made of stone circles, but there wasn’t enough stone around for it to have been ruins of a building.

‘A ritual site?’ She looked around to make sure there wasn’t anyone immediately nearby. She drew the sign of Life in the air in front of her with her fingers, and the world gained a few dozen small candle lights, with three strong flames over to the northwest. The other lights either ran around in the distance or milled somewhere up another hill.

“Well, now I know where they are.” she whispered to herself. She looked straight down for any flames and saw none. That was good, she supposed. It wasn’t some sort of secret barrow entrance. Then she tried another spell. She made the sign for Death. The entire mound glowed blue; the lights forming a skeleton in the shape of a dragon, with several humanoid skeletons buried with it.

“And now I know what a burial mound looks like.” She paced around it carefully, as if anything could wake it up. “Nothing to dig with. Just as well, Kaidan'll probably nag me about how a watchman shouldn’t wander off and leave everyone unprotected.”

The outline of the dragon disappeared, and she made her way back down the hill. As she stepped onto the soft grass, she heard the smallest shuffle of something beside her on the right. ‘But I cast a life spell… FUCK—’ She barely had time to turn her skin into iron before a blur swiped at her, cut the sleeve from her robe, and gouged a deep groove into her arm.

She screeched a curse that she prayed wouldn’t alert more of whatever the thing was and threw a magelight at it. The light stuck above its forehead and when Violet saw its face, her whole body shuddered.

‘Where the fuck are its eyes?!’ She recoiled and threw an ice spear at it, but it easily dodged it.

She desperately wanted to blow it up, but with all the grasslands, she risked setting the entire field on fire and then she’d never hear the end of it. Lightning was the same risk. It reacted to the sound of her movements and charged, waving a wicked and disgusting looking grey sword in the air.

“Shiiiiiit!” she hissed and dove off to the side with a roll back onto her feet. Despite her attempt to disappear into the tall grass, it easily followed her, snarling and hacking everything in front of it.

‘What is that thing?!'  At least dragons had eyes, tiny and beady as they were. This thing was creepy, gross, and it moved weird. ‘Oh gods, I can’t risk this thing finding the camp!’

Violet braced herself and made a heel-turn around to face it, getting another slice across her side. As much as she wanted to stop and heal, she knew she had no room for pauses and clutched at the wound instead. This thing’s speed was inhuman! She used a weaker ice spell at the ground, turning the ground into a flat slick and the grass into blades of ice. The creature slipped and fell face and hands first into the blades. Without her earplugs, the monster’s horrible screeching was almost too much, but her side hurt more. Before it could scrabble back to its feet, she slapped her hand onto the back of its hairless head and mashed it back into the ice blades. A spear erupted from her palm and bolted the creature’s head to the ground. As soon as it stopped moving, she stumbled backwards, fell down, and gasped for air.

‘Okay, fine! I’m out of shape! Fucking Kaidan!’ She put her working left arm up and closed the gashed right one enough to move it, then used both hands over her right side enough to close the wound. If she hadn’t used iron, she would have completely lost her arm and her liver would have been on the ground somewhere back there. The cuts weren’t too deep, but the sword was jagged and hurt like Oblivion. She cast the Life sign and still saw three lights a way off. There weren’t any more eyeless creatures nearby that she could tell, unless they didn’t respond to life magic... Then she heard loud buzzing coming in fast and saw the massive candle directly above her. It was some kind of flying insect larger than she was.

“No no NO NO NO NO!!!” She didn’t care about dragging this one back with her. The eyeless horror took her by surprise and nearly cut her in half, and that was bad enough. But it screaming attracted this godsawful thing and she drew the line at giant insects. Bugs were supposed to be tiny and squashable with a shoe! She could see its stinger was the size and shape like two of the eyeless creature’s sword and took off running. Kaidan could yell at her all he wanted after _he_ killed it.

“KAAAAIIIIDDDAAAANNNN!!” she screamed at the top of her lungs. It wasn’t a dragon shout, so her throat didn’t start bleeding, but it still hurt and she prayed it woke him up.

Since it was in the air, she decided to take a chance and pointed her fingers together, summoning a bolt of lightning between her and it. If her screaming didn’t wake Kaidan up, this would. The sky lit up across the field, and a cracking noise shot out in every direction. It wobbled around in the air for a second, then became a lot louder and angrier, dive-bombing her and barely missing her shoulder. Two of her dreadlocks hit the ground and a lot of panicked cursing fell after them.

*

Kaidan slept lightly with his head resting on his pack and his hood over his face. His hearing wasn’t nearly as keen as Starfall’s; her scream barely reached him. He groaned and rolled over at her whining. When he heard lightning strike from the same place, he sat bolt upright and looked around for her.

“Starfall?!” She wasn’t near the camp, and it was still the middle of the night, judging by the two moons. ‘Oh gods, what has she done now?!’

His weapons were in his hands before he was even on his feet. Scanning the horizon, a tiny light was coming towards him fast, illuminating Starfall and a large chaurus hunter angrily buzzing and swooping at her head.

He didn’t have time to curse her before he dropped the sword and let loose a barrage of arrows. ‘Where there’s chaurus, there’s Falmer. If she leads those bastards back here, I’m tying her up until we reach Whiterun. …If we live.’

Violet could see Kaidan’s silhouette in front of the fire, but she couldn’t see what he was doing. It wasn’t until she heard a whistle near her head and the giant insect squeal, that she realized he was shooting it. ‘I swear to fuck, if you hit me trying to kill this thing, I will make you eat those arrows!’ She ducked as it dive-bombed her again, this time its stinger piercing the dirt. Three of Kaidan’s arrows landed in the pause, and it was grounded until it managed to dislodge itself and chase after her on spindly clicking legs. This turned out to be worse; the rapid clicking sound and screeching as it chased her turned her into a crying mess.

“WILL YOU SHUT UP?! YOU’RE GOING TO ATTRACT MORE!” Kaidan wanted to throttle her, but the chaurus was getting too close and refusing to die.

“KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT!!!” Violet panted as she ran past her ice wards and Kaidan, not stopping even though it felt like her lungs were going to burst.

“Gods damn it all...” He turned his bow sideways and used the bow limb’s tip as a blade, jamming it between the charging chaurus’s pincers and flipping it into one of Starfall’s traps. Even though it was much smaller than the one used to trap the dragon, it worked exactly the same and erupted when the giant insect fell into it. The trap burst into ice needles and crystals, piercing its shell all over, and nearly missing Kaidan. Instead, ice rime crawled up his bow, hands, and arms, freezing them together. He shouted in pain and wrenched away from the trap. The chaurus twitched and drooled blood and poison into a puddle on the ground, taking several minutes to finally die.

“Starfall! What the fuck happened?!” He growled at her. If there were Falmer around, they had to get out of there immediately before more showed up. He held his arms over the fire, trying to quickly thaw himself out.

Violet was cowering behind the cart with Alfarinn, who was trying his best to hitch it back to the nervous and fidgeting horse. “It didn’t have a _face_ … just _teeth_!” She was on the verge of tears and hid her face in her hood.

Great. It had only been a few days and Starfall was already back to being senseless. “Get up, we’ve got to get everything back in the cart before all the noise you made attracts more.”

She breathed shakily and stumbled from around the cart, holding onto it for support. She was covered in blood, her robes were shredded, and she refused to look at him.

“By the gods! What was so important out there that you nearly got yourself killed?” Kaidan dropped his arms from the fire.

“…Dragon grave.” She mumbled. He probably would have broken out of the ice to strangle her then and there if she mentioned the (now crushed) butterflies in her pocket.

He groaned and flexed his arms. The ice was thin and brittle enough that the casing cracked; the shards melted into the fire and made it hiss. He wished he had time to warm them up since they tingled with pins and needles as he fumbled with gathering everything back into their bags. She put out the fire and disabled most of her ice traps, leaving some to cover their exit. Once they were safely back on the road, he groaned and slumped over in the seat. When he saw she was still rocking over her side and trying to heal herself, he opened her pack and went through her potions.

“You didn’t label these. How is anyone other than you supposed to tell what these are?” He picked up what he thought was a red one in a little cylindrical bottle, but in the darkness it looked black. “Is this for healing?”

“I need a large blue one, and a square… light red one, for poison.” She was still breathing heavily and stretched out across the bench. She held her hand out, and a tiny magelight illuminated the inside of her pack.

 As he fished the potions out, he sighed and shook his head. “The giant bug is called a chaurus hunter. They’re poisonous, fast, vicious “pets” of …things… called Falmer. I’m assuming you already killed it or else you wouldn’t be here. Grey skin, emaciated, its hair, eyes, and nose gone, yeah?”

She nodded.

“They used to be elves, evidently. Elves enslaved by the Dwemer eons ago. But now the Dwemer are dead or gone, only those things are left living in their ruined cities or underground caves, and they kill anyone and anything they can find. Whether it’s because they’re cannibals or just assholes, I haven’t stuck around to find out. If there was only one, it may have just been a scout. You were lucky you weren’t ambushed by a hunting party.”

“I almost didn’t hear it! And without eyes it kept following me and- fuck…” She shuddered and dug her nails into her hood. “I… I cast detect life! I could see you and the driver out here, but I didn’t see _it_! It didn’t show up with death either! What…”

“They’re monstrous and primitive, but they’re still capable of elven magic. Maybe this will teach you not to wander so far off.” Kaidan held out the two bottles as carefully as he could while his hands were still numb.

“Not going to make fun of me for being afraid of giant bugs?” She sniffled and took the potions, drinking them one after another, trying not to retch.

“Fuck no, chaurus are the worst- wait, no. Giant spiders are the worst because they’re absolutely everywhere and they’ll rush you from a mile away. Chaurus are close though because they’re blindingly fast with deadly poison. It is sort of silly though that you can kill a dragon with almost no effort, and yet a chaurus and a Falmer nearly cut you to pieces.”

“Dragons are big, slow targets. Those _things_ were on me before I could scream, and I couldn’t use half my magic on either of them without making things worse. Give me your hands.” She took his hands in hers and cast a powerful healing spell as best as she could, stretching out and seething while her side finished stitching itself back together. “Well, there’s two more scars. And I just bought this robe.”

Kaidan flexed his fingers as warmth and feeling returned to them, wondering how bad it would have been if he hadn’t had gloves on. “I’ll take over for the driver in a little bit. We might as well not stop ‘til Whiterun, now.”

She figured he might still want to know about the mound even though very little came of it. “…The dragon was still in the grave. That’s one less thing to worry about.”

He shook his head. “I suppose. Did you just happen to find it, or were you drawn to it?”

“Luck, I think. I was looking for a high place to check on you and see my way back. Did you know there are people buried with the dragons?”

“People? Huh. I wonder if they get revived too, or are they just left down there?”

“I didn’t have anything to dig them up with and learn anything else. I wonder if they’re buried with artifacts or clues since no one here has the sense to cremate the dead.” She wished they could stop for a few minutes so she could make notes in her book, but knew not to push it.

“Please don’t dig them up.” Kaidan groaned, rubbing his forehead.

*

The horse complained the rest of the way, but they made it to Whiterun in the early afternoon of the third day. Starfall paid extra for causing so much trouble, and bought the horse extra oats and apples from the stable. She looked out over the plains, the walled city, and the mountains looming to the south.

“I have to admit, it is beautiful.” She mumbled.

“It’s a start.” Kaidan patted her back. “I’ll show you the best of Skyrim by the time we’re done. Wait ‘til you see the view from the tops of the mountains. Come on; it’s a bit of a walk to the city gates.”

“I don’t want to hear about more mountains when we haven’t even done the first one yet.”

“You complain about the mountains, but you’ll probably hate the caves more. Rock climbing, except this time it’s in claustrophobic darkness, and there’s Falmer and spiders the size of cows.” He said cheerily.

Violet turned and squinted at him. “Why do you keep saying things in the worst possible way?”

“Because it seems like you hate everything and everybody.”

She whined softly into her hands. “Kaidan. Please. I am _tired_. I had my soul scared out of me in the middle of the night like some kind of horror story come to life. I have been dragged kicking and screaming away from my house, my city, my country, my job, my books, my friends, my family, my babies—”

“Babies? You have _children_?” ‘And a lover? Who in the world would be equally mad enough to…’ He stopped himself and tried to think of anything else.

“Not human ones.” She rolled her eyes.

“I… I don’t know if that’s better or worse.”

“My father bought me two baby birds from one of his trading routes and we have no clue what they are, despite my research. They’re beautiful, mean, their bite can break bones, and they feed on any living thing their size or smaller, leaving bones around my house. For some reason, they love and follow me as their mother. I had to send them to live with papa while I do this stupid dragon bullshit. I hope they haven’t killed each other by the time this is over.”

‘Definitely worse, then.’ He thought. “Well, at least you have those things to return to when you’re done.”

That hitch in Violet’s chest hit her again. “…We’ll find yours. I am not taking you home with me.”

He winced, then turned away from her and kept walking. “Doubt I’d do well in the desert anyway. Too acclimated to the cold. And I bloody hate sand.”

“Where is there sand in Skyrim?”

“Morthal to the northwest. Muddy, sandy swamp full of things lurking in the mist. Good mudcrabs, though. Also spent some time out in Blackmarsh.”

Right before they reached the outer walls, they came up to a handful of tents set up on the side of the road. Violet recognized the emblems on the sides, and immediately wandered off to go look, forgetting her exhaustion and dishevelment. Kaidan followed her, sort of impressed that they were almost able to get inside the city before she became distracted. Partly he wanted to see what was on offer, and partly make sure the Khajiit wouldn’t take advantage of her.

A Khajiiti man greeted them by sitting up and tipping his long pipe in their direction. “Greetings, friends—…Oof. You look as if you have had trouble on the roads. Ri’saad has potions, and I think there are spare clothes here somewhere…”

“News for a fair price? Wouldn’t want you to run into what we did.” Violet grumbled.

The man examined the long gash exposing Violet’s side. “Done. Whatever did that could have been feasting on your entrails right now. Ri’saad likes and needs his.”

“It looks worse than it is. If the dress fits me better than this, I’ll consider it. If not, just a needle and thread. And two moon sugars.” She winked at Ri’saad, who nodded knowingly.

Kaidan coughed. “Starfall…”

“It’s fine, _papa_.”

The Khajiit snorted, and Kaidan frowned at the two of them.

Violet held up the dress for inspection. It was a better fit but wasn’t imbued with any kind of magic. “It’s for alchemy, not for staring off into space. Also, do you have something for my hair?”

“Alas, I do not. The humble natives of Skyrim do not seem to value such finery, so we do not carry it.” He dug around in a bag and pulled out a small spool of thread and two small, paper packets.

“Nords do not seem to value a lot of things. I’ll take the dress, if for nothing else, so I can change into something while I repair this. Twenty for the dress, five for the thread, and forty for the moon sugar.”

The Khajiit tsked her. “I said a fair price. Not a steal.”

“This isn’t even enchanted. And I’m guessing the moon sugar is why you’re not _inside_ the city? Or would that be the actual _skooma_?” Violet tapped her foot.

Kaidan’s eyebrows went up.

The merchant glared. “You didn’t even see any.”

“I know the tiny clink of gilded glass and thick fizz in your bag a mile away. So fifteen for the robe and thirty-five for the moon sugar, and the information, which you really need because bleeding to death is a really terrible way to go. And it doesn’t look like anyone in your caravan is a healer…”

“Shrewd little Redguard. You cut to the bones.”

“Just like Papa Zalim taught me.” Violet pulled her money pouch from her pack.

“Indeed.” He half-snarled, half-grinned. “And you, Outlander?”

“Hmm.” Kaidan picked up a slightly worn book. “Five.”

Violet looked at the cover; it was some sort of book of fables. “Run out of my scrolls to snoop through?”

“Yes, actually. And the cart ride over was a little boring up until _last night_.” He dropped a few septims into the merchant’s hand.

“Ri’saad does not need to be hearing this...”

Violet counted out the coins. “He means the Falmer to the northwest. There’s your info.”

“Then we shall be going east. Falmer are savage beasts. And those evil, _evil_ bugs they control. This one should be happy to never see them up close.” Ri’saad shuddered.

“SEE?!” She shouted. “He knows!”

Kaidan was already flipping through the first pages, waiting for her to finish shopping. “I wasn’t disagreeing that the Falmer are monsters. I was noting how _poorly_ you handled the entire situation.”

“Oh my gods! I’ve never seen them before! I didn’t even know that they were a thing that existed! How am I supposed to expertly kill something I’ve never seen before? I’ve met and killed dragons before, therefore they are easier to kill. It’s this thing called _experience_.”

The Khajiit laughed. “This one is a dragon slayer? You probably clean their bones as well.”

“She does, actually.” Kaidan smiled at Starfall only to get a murderous glare back.

“You two are very interesting strangers in these harsh, frigid lands. Do you miss your warm sands as well, Redguard?”

Violet nodded. “Very much. At least you’re not here to get eaten by overgrown Argonians on purpose.”

“Ha!” He pointed at her. “You. Ri’saad likes you. We will be here for one more day, and then I think we shall make our way to Rorikstead. Come talk with us before we leave.”

“We’ll see. We’re on a schedule, ourselves.”

“May you return to your desert, uneaten, then.”

“And to yours with purses full.”

As they parted ways, Kaidan nodded. “A far cry from nearly getting yourself speared for pitching a fit in front of the jarl.”

“I know the Khajiit. My father’s a trader and my family has been friends with them for years. They’re people with a shit reputation because the others put their own rules on them. Like jarls and kings and councils and people who won’t let you in on the rules but expect you to follow them, anyway.”

“Yet you understand the unspoken rules of trade and the secrets of magic.”

“Trading is basic math and economics. Magic is math and physics of energy applied to the different planes to move things around and between them. They’re not secrets (most of them, anyway), people are just bad at math.” She clenched her fist, and a small, geometric ice crystal formed when she opened her palm.

Kaidan looked at the crystal and took it from her. Every branch of it was a smaller version of itself, seemingly going on forever. “And you’re just bad at people. We all have our strengths and weaknesses, I suppose.”


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Busy Town.

They approached the main gates of Whiterun and were immediately stopped by the gatekeepers. One squinted through his helmet and groaned.

“Oh good, the _other_ crazy Redguard is back. What’s your business this time, then?”

‘Ingrate,’ Violet thought. “We’re just here for a layover; this is the city closest to Ivarstead and the Throat of the World. …Wait, what other?” She asked.

“Don’t know. Some idiots getting tossed out right now for disturbing the peace. The first minute I hear about you two causing trouble, you’re going to _jail_ instead of out, understand?”

“And make sure they stay out!” A guardswoman shouted from the wall above them.

Two incredibly angry Redguard men marched out at the sword point of a third guardsman. As soon as they passed Violet, they started whispering to one another. She could hear them clearly; they were discussing the description of a woman named Saadia. Was Saadia a mage? It looks like someone already tried to take her out… Well she can’t be that short. She was supposed to be inside the city, not outside. The men were about to question her, when she pulled Kaidan close to whisper in his ear. “It’s okay. Just wait.”

He nodded and continued to talk with the gatekeeper to figure out what exactly Starfall had done, and she turned to them and whispered in broken Yoku. “ _Selim_. _Sen_ Saadia, no. _Ra,_ _Yoku_ tongue?”

They sneered at her, and the man who had to be in charge whispered back. “You speak Old Redguard? You’re either a black-market trader, a scholar, or a noble with too much time on her hands. That thick accent tells me it’s not the last one. And your eavesdropping is going to get you in trouble.”

She rubbed her forehead. “Right. You’re not from the east, then. What in Oblivion are you doing? You’re about to get me thrown out of here and I haven’t even gotten in yet.”

“We’re looking for someone. Her name is Saadia.”

“Yes, I got that much. I’m not from here, and I don’t know who that is.”

“Well you’re not getting any more than that. Just tell us if you see her. We’re going to keep looking on the way to Rorikstead.” They turned and walked away before the guard watching them became even more impatient.

“Well it’s not about me, so I don’t care. Probably damn bounty hunters—present company excluded.” She grumbled, then remembered Kaidan was right behind her. He either didn’t hear or had ignored her.

The guards pulled one of the large doors open just enough for them; it was wide enough for a team of horses to pass through, but far smaller than the frozen gates of Windhelm. They quickly slipped through and found themselves with a clear view all the way along the city, up to a giant castle on a hill. Violet was about to comment on the sight when a piercing squeal assaulted her ears. Across the little bridge and moat they stood on, a woman sat at a grindstone, a short blade shooting sparks over the edge and into the water.

‘Of course…’ She cursed herself for losing her earplugs and pressed her fingers into her ears instead.

Kaidan leaned in. “I need to pick up a few things here. There’s an alchemist and general store if you follow this road to the big well at the center of the city.”

Violet nodded and hurried up the street, as far away from the noise as possible. The little neighborhood was… quaint. But then Elinhir was literally a college city full of reckless young people, and Dragonstar was colorfully made up of everyone who got tossed out of High Rock, Skyrim, or west Hammerfell. Her little back alley business would’ve been chased out of this place. And yet, her regulars took care of her. She had a system. A process. A routine. And it was all gone. New things to deal with every day and she had to do it all herself. No one was helping her now except Kaidan, and he was honor or duty-bound or whatever. That didn’t count.

At least when the jarl here sent her away after the third dragon, she wasn’t banned from the city or anything. She just hadn’t gone and done anything that he’d asked (told) her to. But she had to go see the court wizard to see if he had what she needed. And that meant going back to the castle, and inevitably being asked if she’d gone and done whatever it was that she’d already forgotten about, because two days later all her possessions were destroyed, and she was being tortured.

“Damn it.” She looked up at the castle looming over the city and ran her hand over her face. Kaidan did say something about Riverwood. Maybe she could get him to do a small detour for a few hours. Just how big could a barrow be? A room with a dozen people in stone boxes, max. Who would probably get up when she went to go take whatever the thing was that she was supposed to go get. She groaned and almost walked right past where she was supposed to go; thinking about the castle had subconsciously redirected her to a side street leading up to it instead of the alchemist on main.

The short path led uphill to what looked like another neighborhood district. She didn’t know anyone here and didn’t want any trouble from the locals, so she backtracked. As she was getting back down to the market district and the busy thoroughfare was becoming clear, one voice cut through her concentration like a dagger.

“And just what do you think you’re doing up there?” A Redguard man grinned, leaning over the fence of his yard.

“Was just lost in thought.” Violet said. ‘No, no, no, shit! Keep walking…’

“You always are. How you got to see the jarl wandering around like a lunatic is beyond me.” Nazeem smirked. “And gods, what the hell have you gotten yourself into the past few weeks? You look like shit.”

Her eyes rolled up into her head, which then lolled backward. ‘Akatosh give me strength, if nothing else.’ “I’m not doing this shit with you this time.”

Just as he was about to retort, his wife, Ahlam called up from the temple nearby. “I see you, Nazeem! Get back to work!”

Violet stuck her tongue out at him and hurried off before the man could open his big mouth again. She mouthed thank you to Ahlam as she passed, the priestess sighed and nodded in that knowing way.

Back in the market square, she looked between all the stalls and stores, but realized that as much as she burned with loathing, Nazeem was right. She needed to take care of herself first. She was tired, hungry, extra mad now, still bloody, and drafty. The Bannered Mare was right there. Staying off to the side, she went into the side door and wound up in the kitchen, where another Redguard woman was cutting vegetables.

“Sorry to cut through here…” Violet went past her, trying to maneuver her backpack and belongings through the narrow room. A bowl of potatoes balanced on the edge of the table went right on the floor and she groaned.

“We really should lock that door.” The cook said, rolling her eyes. “Just go see Hulda at the bar. We have a room available; you look like you could use a long rest.”

She did as she was told, dragging her things behind her now so she wouldn’t knock anything else over. Thankfully the Bannered Mare wasn’t crowded, and she was happy for the peace. Hulda was right where she was last time, strangely enough looking like she hadn’t moved an inch from that spot even though she’d been gone for weeks. Violet shook the thought loose and dropped a few coins on the counter. Money was already running low; she’d have to rectify that. “A room please. And a lot of soap and water.”

“You poor dear! The roads must have really been bad. I’ll get Saadia to help you. Saadia, dear!”

Violet could hear the woman in the kitchen slap her palm against her forehead. “No, that’s alright, just tell me which room it is.” She did need to talk to this Saadia now, though…

“Alright, suit yourself. It’s this cozy room right here.” The innkeeper pointed to the double doors at the back of the tavern. I’ll have some buckets of water for you in a few minutes.”

“Thank you. And if a huge Outlander in black armor comes looking for me, tell him I’m here.” The tired mage dragged her things behind her, somewhat annoying the bard playing his lute at the end of the hearth. She quickly closed the door behind her, threw her things into a corner, and flopped over into the hard, wooden chair. The previous night was starting to weigh heavily now that she’d stopped moving. She wasn’t trained (well she was, but still) or built for this. Things were just going to throw themselves in her way, as if a lot of these morons didn’t care about the whole dragon problem. …And they didn’t. They were too busy fighting each other. She’d ignored the murmurings in the square about the war, but she realized that the dragons were too recent and surreal to be happening, where their war had been simmering for years. And obviously the monstrous things wandering the wilderness couldn’t care less. She rubbed her face and groaned, trying not to just fall asleep in the chair.

Instead, she brought out her book and wrote fervently until she heard a knock on the door. Saadia stood there; a bucket of water in each hand and a bar of soap in her apron pocket. As she was setting them down beside the chair, Violet closed the door and dropped her voice to a whisper.

“I had an encounter with a couple of mercenaries trying to come into the city a little bit ago. They were looking for you.”

The woman fumbled the soap into a bucket. “What?”

“Two Alik’r men were being tossed out just as I came through the gate and were about to hassle me. Now Whiterun’s guards are watching _me_. Now… I honestly do not give a fuck about whatever ridiculous politics are going on back home, as I was perfectly okay under my rock. And I’m not going to rat you out. But whatever this is about, is this going to cause _me_ more trouble later on?”

Saadia ran her fingers through her hair and suddenly dropped to sit on the edge of the bed. “Shit. And they’re out of the city now?”

“Said they were going to Rorikstead. Wouldn’t tell me what it was about. But it doesn’t really do me any good to have one side of the story, so I’m just going to leave it. Here’s your fair warning.”

 “What if I pay you to get rid of them? You look capable enough.” Her voice shook.

Violet squinted at the barmaid and then looked down at her own tattered, bloody mess. “I’m not a hired killer. This blood is actually _mine_. I almost _died_. Unless the thing needing being killed is a dragon, I can’t help you. Find someone else, and probably stay inside the city for a while.”

Saadia growled and stormed out. She couldn’t blame the woman, being a fugitive was nerve-wracking. And she didn’t even seem to have any way to defend herself, which made it all the worse. But there was no way Violet was going to get herself put in any more crosshairs than she had to.

She spent a while scrubbing the blood and dirt off of herself and her robes. They were far too expensive for her to casually toss aside, even though they weren’t even enchanted very well. She put the plain dress on and fell onto the bed for a nap, as she did _not_ go back to sleep in the wagon after that hasty retreat last night. Mending the robes and getting food could wait.

By the time she woke up, she could hear the late afternoon crowds filing out after lunch. She felt somewhat rested, so she got up and made herself a new set of earplugs and immediately felt better. She took a peek out to see if Kaidan had made his way there, and found him sitting outside of her door, listening to the bard and tapping his foot to the beat of the drum. She wondered briefly if he was waiting for her, then grabbed her robe and sewing kit and sat at his table.

“You’re just going to sleep away half of this journey away, aren’t you?” Kaidan looked her over. “At least you look alright, now.”

She rolled her eyes. “I wasn’t aware there was a time limit on this whole thing. Someone should have told me about it ages ago and I would have skipped all this annoying bullshit and gone right to the root of the problem to dig it out.”

“And just what will you do if we’re forced to go somewhere where sleep isn’t an option?”

“Then we’re not going there. Sounds like a terrible place. So what did you find at the blacksmith?” She asked and settled into her sewing. Hopefully damaging magic clothing didn’t break its enchantment.

He took off his right glove and showed her the thin silver ring on his finger. Without thinking or pausing, she took his hand in hers and turned it over. Having his one hand dwarfing both of hers was a stark contrast. His was rough and calloused with his little finger broken and reset. Hers were dye-stained, soft, little hands that did very little manual labor, outside of probably nicking herself cutting up alchemy ingredients and getting paper cuts. And then the number the Thalmor did to both of them.

“You could have just asked for the ring itself.” He mumbled. She was twisting his wrist and working his fingers around trying to see the ring’s details, and it was making him want to pull his hand away.

“Silver, simple knotwork. No focusing gem. Low powered. Strength enchanted. Didn’t know a blacksmith had stuff like this.” She finally let go of him and tried to go back to her sewing, only to see she’d lost her place and rhythm.

“Aye. Though it cost a bit. Feel like I need a lot more than this to keep up with you. I talked to the gatekeeper, and this is one of the places you killed a dragon? Thought you’d be a little more… appreciated?”

Oh, boy… “I did. Except I had to drop an entire watchtower on it. The jarl said thank you for the dragon, but now I have to do errand-boy crap to pay for the building and he threw me out of the city.”

Kaidan ran his hand over his face. Why. Why was she like this? He remembered that on shouting the serial killer to death, she almost knocked down the corner club, and killing the Inquisitor almost let the river into the underground prison. “Do I really want to know why you went with destroying a building instead of just magicking it to death? And how long is it going to take to pay for an entire watchtower?!”

She shrugged. “Not going to lie to you, it was clumsy and brutish, but the damn thing was being stubborn and _chewing on_ people. I panicked. I also suspect there’s a “war tax” added under the circumstances. Anyway, I just remembered that we have to make a detour. Jarl Balgruuf sent me to his court mage, Farengar, and he said I have to go to Bleak Falls Barrow to go get something called a Dragonstone. Let me go get the map and—”

“Sit down, I know the area.” He put his hand on the top of her head and pushed her back into her seat. “So instead of going to the mountain, you conveniently have a diversion for us that will take a few extra days. Here’s the thing, though. The barrow is also on a mountain, so you didn’t escape it. Now you have to climb _two_.”

The curse she let out had the whole tavern looking at her. Kaidan was scowling. She put her head down on the table.

“No more tantrums. You’ve had your nap-time, now you need to finish your arts and crafts so we can go and do grown-up things like _reflecting on our bad decisions_.” Kaidan said as he got up and left.

One murderously angry eye peeked out after him, then went back to fuming face down.

*

She avoided him for the rest of the day. After finishing mending her robe, she went down to see the apothecary and ply her trade. She didn’t mind Arcadia much, it was just annoying that she knew there was something wrong and kept trying to play healer with her. No, Arcadia, it’s not a disease as such, and no, your big Imperial Cyrodiil know-how isn’t good enough, either. Violet didn’t make nearly as much as her profit from Windhelm as she couldn’t stop and collect ingredients, but it was enough to cover more expenses and buy a few magical supplies. She avoided the creepy Breton man who worked next door. She was already angry, no need to escalate to murder. Especially with the guards watching.

It was early evening by the time she made it to Dragonsreach. Hope Kaidan wasn’t planning on leaving tonight because that wasn’t happening. This whole thing was at her discretion, anyway. How dare he! She was so busy making herself angry all over again, she didn’t realize she was in front of the castle doors and muttering like a lunatic.

“I see the Dragonborn is back. Here to pay your debt or add to it?” A guard chuckled.

Everyone was picking on her today. There was a fire forming in her chest. “I need to talk to Farengar.”

“Ugh. Boring wizard talk. Go on in.” He pulled the door open for her.

The jarl’s court was just finishing up the evening meal. Jarl Balgruuf was talking with his advisor Avenicci, a stuffy Imperial. He was the one who suggested she pay reparations for leaving their Western border vulnerable. She bowed curtly towards the two of them and moved to the other side of the room. Farengar sat off to the far end of the table, drinking ale. Upon seeing her, he raised his eyebrows and pulled out the seat beside him.

“You’re back! To be honest, I wasn’t expecting you to. Was it there? Did you find any other artifacts?”

‘I'm fine, thanks.’ She hesitated. If he rose his voice and attracted the jarl’s attention, that was even more explaining she’d have to do. “I didn’t get the stone. Helgen happened instead.”

“What do you mean 'Helgen happened'? They’re miles from each other.” Farengar ran his hand over his face. Another dim-witted mercenary who couldn’t simply do as they were told…

“I went to go see the dragon at Helgen, but it turned out to be a trap… sort of. The Thalmor were going to execute Jarl Ulfric and—”

“Okay, yes, we all know that part about him escaping.”

She was starting to get flustered and tugged at her hood and hair. “I got kidnapped, okay!? The Thalmor couldn’t hold on to Ulfric, so they took me instead.” She held up her hands and showed him the webs of her fingers. They were mostly gone and what was left was cauterized back together.

All the color left Farengar's face. “So, what are you going to do now?”

“I’m still going to go get this… thing. You’re studying the dragons because of Helgen and the watchtower.”

“Yes, and that stone is the best lead I have. You have no idea what I had to negotiate for that information.”

Violet sighed. “What does it do? I’m tired of stumbling all over the place with no clue what’s going on. I’m trying to study them too.”

His eyes rolled. “I doubt that you would be able to under—”

That fire in her chest doubled in size and the Power screeched.

_Put him in his place._

 She pointed her finger at his face, the tip sparking like a tiny, concentrated storm and her voice dropped to a whisper. “If you fucking finish that sentence, Balgruuf will need a new court mage. I’m mad, not stupid. Dragons are a fun little hobby to you, but for me, it’s life and death. Now, I need three things. One, I need as many Grand and Black soul gems as you can get your hands on. Two, I need to know what the Dragonstone _does_. You will get it, I won’t run off with it. Three, I need _time_. Sorry for getting sidetracked, but shit happens. I will go to the barrow first thing in the morning. In the meantime, I can offer you all the notes I’ve taken on the dragons so far. Is this enough for now?”

Without removing her finger or eye contact, she put a scroll between them on the table. The other mage pursed his lips and nodded, making her slowly and shakily calm down.

“You can take your time copying it. I’m going to the Greybeards on the mountain afterwards for this Dragonborn business.”

“But—”

“ _No_.” She pulled her hood over her face.

“I can’t get you _Black_ soul gems. I can get you Grands. And the Dragonstone is said to be an ancient map of where the dragon cult buried their masters. But unfortunately, it doesn’t help towards finding which ones are coming back, or in which order. So, I was going to put together all the sightings to see if there’s a pattern.”

“See? That wasn’t complicated at all, you pretentious nit. And the pattern is that they’re after the Dragonborn. Me. Now how they’re rising up and tracking me is the trick.” She grumbled.

“That makes sense. But we can’t exactly follow you around, and you obviously can’t stay in one place.”

“And now the gems.” She put a pouch of money next to the scroll.

He got up and hurriedly gathered her order. He put one grand and two greater gems in front of her. They were cold and clear, meaning some unfortunate souls hadn’t been siphoned yet.

“See how fast and easy it is when you don’t make everything needlessly complicated?” She sighed and put the gems in her pocket.

As she got up, Balgruuf called her over. “Dragonborn.” His voice was stern.

_Tell him no._

“It’s late, my jarl. I’ve had a terrible day.” And Violet kept walking.

He sighed. “I understand Farengar can be… trying. But do _not_ threaten my people again.”

_And just what do you plan to do about it._

“Teach them manners, then.”

*

Kaidan twisted his ring over and over, surging a slight burst of energy through his hand every time it looped his finger. Starfall was turning erratic again. Maybe she was just tired and devoting her energy to keeping in check. He wished she’d remembered the barrow sooner. She seemed more concerned about getting there than the fact that barrows were all massive death traps. Didn’t Redguards also bury their dead in tombs? Or maybe the scholar part only went so far as book learning and nothing practical. This was going to be interesting. He looked up from the nervous Breton man in front of him, visibly dying for a sale. Belethor had an amulet in a display case that he wanted but was having trouble talking him down.

“What happened to ‘anything for a sale’?” Kaidan tapped his fingers on the counter.

The weaselly man scoffed. “This kind of magic? Do you have any idea what I had to do to get this in the first place?”

‘Besides wait a few days for some other mercenary to come in and dump it off because he didn’t want it?’ “How about I even it out with a trade, then?”

After far too much back and forth than Kaidan would have liked, he slipped the amulet under his armor and walked out. Starfall was probably going to avoid him for the rest of the day, which was fine. He had better things to do.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Damn bandits.

A little before dawn, Violet gathered her things and trudged out of the Bannered Mare. The place was empty, and the hearth was down to glowing embers. Even Hulda had finally left her post. Violet didn’t even want to be bothered with breakfast; her nerves were bothering her too much, anyway. Kaidan would be somewhere near the gate, probably tapping his foot as if she’d slept in. The pre-dawn hours were foggy and unsettling, even in a large city like Whiterun. It didn’t help that there were only a handful of people awake, mainly shopkeepers getting their stalls ready to open.

“Please don’t rain. Please don’t turn into rain.” The cool dampness was already sticking to her face, her mage robes and dull brown cloak were heavy, and she still wasn’t used to the humidity here. She followed the main street back to the gate, taking much more care not to mentally drift and wind up down a side street. Not in this dense fog.

She had made it to the blacksmith and was going to go snoop around it when a shadow left the building just across the street. She knew deep down it was just someone wearing a cloak, but the way it looked as they smoothly appeared and drifted downward towards her in the dense mist was not doing her head any favors. When it got close and the looming ghost had red eyes, she had to bite back a scream.

“I was just about to come get you.” Kaidan said as he pushed back his hood and hefted his pack over his shoulder. “Ready to go?”

She blinked a few times. “Umm. H-how long does it take to get to the barrow? Or Riverwood. Whichever.” Her hood was up and she didn’t want to look in his general direction.

“It’s only a day’s travel to both. I’d show you once we’re away from the gate, except this fog is probably going to hang around for a few more hours.”

When they got past the outer walls, they’d caught the small trader caravan was packing their things, and Ri’saad waved to them.

“Just in time to say goodbye. Did Dragonslayer and Outlander find anything good inside the walls?” He asked. He and another Khajiit man were folding the tents into neat little bundles.

Violet and Kaidan both nodded.

“I should have paid you to retrieve something for me. And now you are off to save the world again. But Ri’saad thinks we shall meet again. Yes.”

“Good travels, Ri’saad. We’ll see you again before this is over.” She said simply and left.

A few hours of walking and fresh air did Violet’s mood some good. Kaidan didn’t seem to be too interested in reining her in, instead letting her run off to pick flowers and whatever else made a good potion, as long as she was in sight whenever he turned around. Soon, she caught up to him with a head full of flowers again. Red, blue, purple, and white pops of color trailed down from her black and silver vines.

“At least I can replace my supplies now. Good wild herbs and insects. Here.” Violet produced a handful of various colored butterflies, all frozen solid for preservation, and put them in his hands while she dug around in her pack. She did not see Kaidan’s disturbed expression as she snapped their wings off and dropped the wings into a book like little macabre bookmarks.

By late afternoon, the fog was all gone, and they were at the foot of the two mountains. Just left of the fork in the road and down the river, a sleepy village went on with their business. He turned up the path west leading upward. “This smaller one has an easy enough path up to the barrow. Really, we could get to the entrance just as it gets dark. And there isn’t much reason to stop at Riverwood, at least for me. Out of money again.”

“How do you keep running through all your money like sand in your hand?”

He suddenly stopped and backed up a bit. “Wolves.”

“Wh—” She was about to ask, but suddenly heard snuffling and growling. She quickly changed her skin to iron and readied an ice spear.

A large, dark-furred wolf came out from a shady overhang. It stared them down and growled in warning.

“Huh. It’s mottled to better blend in with the forests here. Hammerfell wolves are nocturnal and sand colored. So, what are we going to do? I think it’s just waiting for us to go.”

Kaidan stared at the beast. He could tell it was fat from taking prey from the village below. Probably chickens and eggs. “A decent pelt.”

She shrugged. “If you want it.”

He pulled out his bow and fired an arrow into the wolf’s neck, while Violet put the spear in its side. It staggered and yelped for help before keeling over. “Damn it, I should have aimed for its head. More will come in a bit.”

“Great. We should have just left it.” She mumbled.

“Maybe the village will reward us for getting rid of them.” He switched to his sword. He didn’t want to mention that he exchanged almost all of his good arrows for the amulet, or that he had it in the first place.

They waited in tension for several slow seconds before a small pack of three similar wolves ran from the cave, growling and defending their fallen pack member. Kaidan took a defensive stance in front of Starfall and went over his options. He’d fought plenty of wolves before; they weren’t exceptionally difficult. He just didn’t want to exert himself before getting to the actual hard part of this little side mission.

“You get to clean this up. I have no idea how to dress an animal. Don’t really want to learn, either.” She held her hands out and a wall of ice spears erupted from the ground, separating them from the beasts. As the wolves moved to claw their way out, lightning rained down behind the wall, jumping back and forth between them until they all collapsed and smoked.

“They were likely stalking the village. They’re too close to people.” He stood down, lowering his sword. They weren’t piles of char like the dragon, just burned in erratic patterns. At least their pelts were salvageable.

“You’re the hunter. And how did you know there were wolves before I could hear them?”

Kaidan dug a skinning knife out of his pack and went up to the ice wall. Knocking on it a few times proved it solid as stone. “Tracks in the mud. Plus, the carcasses in their den stink. You can’t smell it?”

She twitched her nose. “Well, _now_ I can. That and burnt fur. Ugh. Here, stand back some.” The wall of spears also erupted with lightning, shattering each into small pieces.

“There shouldn’t be anything up ahead, I think. You can go on while I skin these and put them on posts to dry. I doubt anyone will be along after us to take them since there’s nothing up here but the barrow and more animals. Just stay on the path. I mean it.”

She rolled her eyes. “I’m not a damsel.”

“I’m not talking about you getting eaten by more wolves, I’m talking about you finding a mushroom in a tree stump or something and then you turn around and you’ve lost the path. And then you get eaten by an ice spider hiding in a snowbank.”

“You’re kidding about the spiders, right?” Paranoia kicked in and her skin turned to iron.

“…Maybe.” He grinned to himself.

“No, not _maybe_. You’ve got to tell me _now_ if there’s spiders.”

“There’s spiders everywhere. That’s how spiders work. They lay dozens of eggs, and then they’re everywhere.” He was already flaying the largest wolf.

“I’m serious. I hate spiders more than whatever that chaurus thing was.”

“So was I. There's probably as many spiders as there are bears in the woods. You say you’re not a damsel, but I’m thinking I’m likely going to be killing a lot of those things for you.”

“You said you wouldn’t make fun of me over the bug thing.” She was near shouting.

“I’m not. Now get going and scout the path unless you want to help with _this_.” He made a show of peeling the wolf’s skin away from its neck.

Her fist was shaking as it took most of the day’s restraint not to turn the dead wolves to ash. She made an undignified noise and went ahead. Gods, she hoped it wasn’t going to be like this the whole time. And she could already tell there was something up ahead, because he said there wasn’t and that’s how things worked in Skyrim. An hour later, she came to a bend in the path, where a little dilapidated watchtower sat crumbling over the edge of a cliff. With the sun going down, the air was turning cold and flurries were coming down. She went up to it to see if she could rest there for a bit, but was quickly discouraged by a man in patchwork leather and furs appearing in the doorway.

“And just what the hell do you think you’re doing up here? You can turn right around and go home, little girl.”

Violet simply stared at him. It couldn’t be as easy as trudging uphill in the bitter cold. No. There had to be assholes. ‘Guess I’d have to run into them sooner or later,’ she supposed. After the distracted exasperation wore off, she decided to see if she could just get away without any confrontation.

“Look. I don’t care about whatever you’ve got going on here,” she gestured at the open tower. “I need to get up to the barrow at the top, am I at least close to that? Evidently studying ancient artifacts of dead Nords is part of my job now.”

He sneered at her. “I could tell you for… hmm. A thousand septims.”

_Leave them for Kaidan to murder. That’s what he’s here for. Let him earn his keep. Or shout the whole tower off the cliff. Whichever’s easier._

Without another word, she turned up the path away from them and kept going. She didn’t get twenty paces before something struck her in the back. It felt like someone jabbed her with their knuckles, and when she felt the arrow sticking out of her robe above her kidneys, she growled something else Kaidan would have frowned at, if he understood Yoku.

*

Kaidan rounded the corner, wondering if Starfall had made it to the barrow, or if she’d given in to whatever she was so bothered about and set up camp in this little watchtower up ahead. When he got close enough, he saw there were several ice statues around it. Even closer, and he went pale with the realization that they weren’t statues.

'Dear gods. Did Starfall do this?!' He walked around them, noting that they had been in the middle of attacking something or someone. An archer was mid draw but didn’t have a bow in his hands. There was a pile of ashes shaped like a bow a few paces away. A woman in furs with a short sword was impaled against the stone wall with an ice spear.

“Damn it, Starfall…” On one hand, the bandits were likely begging for it. On the other hand, this didn’t exactly look like a quick death like a simple beheading would have been. At least she didn’t break their limbs off like the butterflies. He quickly checked to see if she’d holed up there (and for valuables, there were none) and moved on. If there were more at the top and they kept pissing her off, he should probably go find her before she caused an avalanche. He hurried on through the growing darkness and at the end of the path was the barrow, quiet save for the crackling of settling snow. More ice statues greeted him at the entrance, with a magelight stuck over the door and a 'V' written in the snow.

'Please dear gods, don’t let her accidentally murder me as soon as I open this door.’ He wasn’t a praying man; he didn’t deserve it. But this was not the way he wanted to die.

He carefully opened the door a crack and shouted a warning. “Starfall! You in there?”

“You lied about there not being anything up here.” She called out. Her voice echoed as if she were deep inside.

“Sorry for not being up to date on where every single person in Skyrim is currently living.” He couldn’t help himself.

“…Please get in here before you let all the heat out.” She said flatly.

As he entered, the first thing he noticed was more corpses, including a few skeevers. The second thing was that the roof had caved in, and snow was gathering in the corners. ‘Let the heat out. Heh.’ The third was Starfall, sitting in front of a fire at the far end of the large entrance hall.

He inspected more of her handiwork as he went over to the fire, or maybe they weren’t her doing. These weren’t frozen solid, in fact, it seems that the skeevers and the corpses inside were done and cold a while ago. The newer ones were definitely her though, as two bandits were in the corner and run through with ice spears. “Just what did those other ones outside do that you turned them into statues?”

“I tried negotiating, and they shot me in the back as I was walking away.” She was sitting on one of their sleeping bags, rubbing her feet. “Then when I got up here, they tried to ambush me and shot me in the belly. By the time I got in here, I just... I just mended these robes, and now they’ve put holes in my cloak, too.”

He ran his hand across his forehead. “Why in Talos’s name would you turn your back on a bunch of bandits?”

“Because I didn’t want to be bothered. Obviously.”

“Is that how it works back home? Because now you know that’s not how it works here.”

“Well they usually _stop_ when you beat one of them senseless or get someone else to. There’s some kind of ‘to the death’ idiocy here that seems like it would solve itself sooner than later.” Violet pulled her waterskin out and drank half in one go. “Anyway, we’ve got a problem.”

“Besides the bandits?”

“Yes. You know how I said that I sometimes hear creepy whispering and you said it’s undead?”

“Yeah? What about it?”

“You can’t hear it yet, but it’s different in here.”

Oh, good. “Different, how?”

“So, all the creepy whispering before was more like hateful, agitated muttering. This is more like a war chant? Actually, both types are here, so it’s even more of a problem.”

“I’ve never heard war chanting before. Just the undead growling in some other language, probably telling me to die.”

She slumped over. “Also, I underestimated how large a barrow is. I thought a barrow was just a simple tomb a few rooms large with a dozen people in it max. The sounds are echoing around from some other part of the _mountain_. This place is _massive_. And I’m too tired and pissed to tackle hours more of Nord nonsense when we’ve been walking all day.”

‘ _Well I guess we’re not going there. It sounds horrible. Blah blah blah._ ’ Her whining from yesterday as predicted, became a thorn in his foot today. “You know what? Fine. You’ve earned it, I suppose, in some sort of twisted way. You can take a nap, but we move on in an hour. These places are too dangerous to spend more any more time than necessary.”

He couldn’t be serious. “Twisted? Aren’t you a bounty hunter? Or mercenary, whichever. Isn’t it your job to go after people for money?”

“But I don’t bloody _kill_ them! …Most of the time. Unless they’re violent criminals. …Which they usually are. Anyway, I’m not an _assassin_ , which is what you seem to be confusing me for.”

“Tired. Angry. Cold. Hungry. Hearing voices. Trying really hard not to think about what kinds of horrors are down there. I think sleep would help with at least some of those. Unless you want me to do this while tired, making dumb decisions.”

“Alright, alright. It’s my turn to scout, then.”

“It’s strange how you seem to be okay going far too long without sleep.”

He only grunted as he sat in front of the fire for a few minutes to gather himself. The way she seemed to easily take care of the bandits meant that the undead shouldn’t be much of a problem. The traps, however, were going to be annoying and he’d have to keep her on a short leash. The first time he tried to open a chest, he simply bashed the lock with a stone, not seeing the little wire behind the hinge. The poison dart only wedged into the collar of his armor and nicked him, but he felt like he was dying for hours afterwards. He played it a lot smarter after that. He noticed there was actually one right next to them, and it was still locked. He never bothered keeping lockpicks around; he couldn’t really work his fingers well enough for that kind of precision work. Starfall’s were good enough she broke them out of prison, but she hadn’t tried anything since. What else did she know how to do?

He looked over and she was staring at the snow falling through the hole in the roof. She was spoiled, somewhat naïve, whiny, impulsive, lazy, prone to fits of violence, not all there, and it was going to take a miracle to get them through this whole thing. But evidently, she was blessed by Akatosh himself. ‘ _How badly does this Akatosh want me alive to fulfill whatever purpose? How much ruin could I cause before he would regret his decision, or better yet, revoke his ‘blessing’ altogether?_ ' Well murder and collateral damage sure weren’t out of line…


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mistakes are made.

Violet awoke to a starry sky, and a dim, quiet hall. Her throat was dry and her stomach growled. She was so tired earlier, she didn’t even complain about sleeping in the same room with several corpses. Remembering what she’d done quickly brought her bad mood back.

“Gods damn it all…” She rubbed her face. A few months ago, she woke up in her little home above her shop, her birds had eaten half of her cold stores, and she was behind on filling her orders because she was too absorbed in her own research. She missed those little problems. She grit her teeth and resolved whomever was doing all the chanting and muttering that was giving her a headache were going to lose their heads.

She had some bread and cheese hoping it would help and went to look for Kaidan. He’d said he was going scouting. “Maybe he’ll have gotten rid of at least some of the undead. It’s bad enough I have to deal with the living.”

Violet was surprised to see the tomb halls were well lit; little clusters of wax candles sat on every surface. Kaidan probably didn’t do it, and it didn’t make much sense for the bandits have done it (especially lighting _every_ candle). Were there grave keepers? People leaving offerings? But how did they navigate the whole business with the threat of being torn apart? Continuing down the hall, it was apparent there weren’t any grave keepers because the place was in the middle of collapsing. Half of the corridors were caved in, and more than once the entire place rumbled and dust fell into her hair.

‘Well… if the monsters don’t kill us, the mountain falling on us will. There’s a new thing to be terrified of. Great.’

Before she got much further, she cast a life spell to see where Kaidan was. ‘He’d better be still alive.’ There was a single candle flame a short walk away from her and another close to that one, but also several other flames of varying sizes all around her, including a very large one somewhere forward and far above her.

“What is that? Another bear?” She tilted her head and wished those spells were better at showing off the shape of the creature at distances. Then it occurred to her that she could see the undead as well and was shown only few dozen, and thankfully not the army a place that size could have.

She came across a table, threw her pack onto it, and dug around for her book and charcoal. It was all sort of interesting when she was able to ignore the dread and her general irritation. Art carved into the walls, simple furniture, incense (probably came from the same place as the candles), pots, jugs, and braziers (most of which were understandably broken), and when she started opening them against her better judgement (‘oh gods what if there’s someone’s dissolved organs in here what am I doing this is how you get into fucking necromancy put it back’), she found nothing but ashes, gems, and gold funerary tokens.

Kaidan wasn’t watching her. Not that he could really stop her, but still... The pots had _money_ in them. The dead don’t need money. That’s not how being dead even worked, anyway. Or maybe that’s how being a dead Nord worked, again, not that she cared. She rolled one of the coins in her hand, then dropped it on the floor and pressed two fingers over it. The coin melted into a little puddle of gold. It wasn’t plated and it wasn’t dirty. And now she was really conflicted.

‘Shit.’ She froze the puddle enough to pick up the now ugly lump. ‘Angering the already angry undead who don’t need money, or being at least somewhat respectful? Because it’s not like it’s going into keeping this place up, that’s for damn sure.’

She made sure to dust the coins off first. Cleaning ashes out of her bag was pushing it, even if she did intend to melt them down into something that could be exchanged for actual money.

*

Kaidan stayed far enough away from the idiot down the hallway that he wouldn’t be noticed. The man walked around in circles in a large room filled with lights and rubble, trying to figure out what looked to be a simple code. The door on the other side was gated.

‘Starfall better get here soon or else she’s going to miss this joke.’ Kaidan caught himself grinning at the thought of the looming disaster.

As if on cue, she came up behind him, making just enough noise for him to hear and not accidentally get her head taken off. He turned around and saw her shaking all the dust out of her hair. She leaned over, trying to see down the hall. He held up one finger to his lips, then pointed into the room, then cut across his throat with his finger. Violet found herself sort of scared at how his eyes made his look of mischief extra threatening. She sat beside him on the steps and watched the man trying futilely to open the far door.

“I was hoping you could see this. This is why I don’t want you touching everything you get your grabby little fingers on in here.” He whispered in her ear.

“I’m not a thief! And most of this stuff is covered in gross cobwebs. Damn spiders.” She grumbled. She was now overly conscious of the stacks of gold weighing her bag down.

“That’s not the point and you know it. Anyway, look.”

The man, who Starfall could only guess was another one of those stupid bandits from upstairs, finally gave up on walking around and went up to a large lever at the center of the room. As soon as she heard the mechanism click, she also heard the entire room come alive. Her eyes widened as needles flew from every direction, dropping the man like a stone.

Kaidan shook his head. “And for some reason, Nordic barrows are full of these damn things.”

“What?” She was frozen to the spot. It wasn’t too late to turn around. Or to go all the way back to Whiterun, kidnap Farengar, and throw him into this deathtrap so he could get his own damn Dragonstone.

“On top of guarding their own resting places, they also put traps like this throughout the tombs.”

“Squatters? Already taken care of. The undead I can handle. I think. Sure. Why not. Just reduce them to ashes. …I can’t break traps. Not without wasting a lot more time and energy than we’ve got. I’m not a tinkerer.”

“To be fair, though? He died because of the poison. You seem to be mostly resistant to poison, the way you keep eating things that would make a normal person _die_. You’d likely be more annoyed, embarrassed, and sore for a few hours. Of course, if the poison doesn’t get you, the whirling blades, the fire traps, the falling rocks, the hidden spikes, the lightning stones, the battering rams—” Kaidan was counting on his fingers before Violet grabbed his hand.

“No. Farengar can get some other gullible idiot to die over this. My head is pounding from all the extra voices that won’t shut up. We’re leaving.” She grabbed her bag and stood up.

“And just how do you plan to pay off that building you destroyed instead?”

“Grey market potions and poisons, just like back home.”

“What if there’s treasure? It’s got to be something interesting for them to go through all this trouble.”

“It’s probably ancient garbage that will fall apart in our hands the second we pick it up. I mean, with the condition this place is in, it’s possible the thing we’re looking for is already buried or destroyed.”

Kaidan sort of agreed; he very rarely found anything that was worth the trouble. And they would probably wind up at one of those puzzle doors like he always did, and they didn’t have a key. But letting her give up this quickly was just going to make things worse later. He grabbed the bottom of her pack before she could get away.

“If it makes you feel any better, considering I’ve traversed places like this several times and I am _not_ dead, I could probably teach you how to avoid this stuff. Plus, even if we do come up against a wall and can’t continue any further, we could probably find enough junk between here and there to cover our losses coming up here.”

“I hate having you as my voice of reason.”

“I know you do. Come on.” He led her inside and up to the dead bandit. “Standing here, you can see the little holes in the walls where the trap activates. Look for those whenever there’s a lever, a pull system, a stand, a chest, or really, any kind of machine, or something that looks out of place. He was too stupid to put _that_ together.”

In three recesses in the wall were columns, each having three sides with an animal in bas relief.

“Can I at least touch those?”

“Yes…” He ran his hand over his face.

Looking at the columns and around the room for about 30 seconds she turned back to Kaidan. “Oh wow, was he serious?”

Kaidan just shrugged. “Doesn’t really matter now, does it?”

Violet went over to the columns and studied them for a moment, recording them in her book (‘there are snakes in Skyrim?’), then when stepping on the border frame around the first column, activated a pressure plate that moved it around and changed the picture. Behind her were more relief sculptures showing the order of the columns, with one somehow fallen off the wall and broken on the ground. She matched them up and had Kaidan stand a safe distance away. Instead of launching needles when she pulled the lever, the gate rattled open.

“This… this isn’t a puzzle. What was the point of this? To waste time?” She picked up one of the poison needles and examined it, then stuck it in a book page for study later.

“It worked on him, didn’t it?” He came over and kicked the body on the ground.

Violet growled loudly into her hands and they continued on. She thought she was being stealthy when she took various trinkets off shelves, tables, and urns, but it turned out Kaidan didn’t care. “Just as long as you don’t mention to the locals where you got it from. They’re superstitious about that, and very protective of their ‘honored dead’.”

“If they’re honored, why aren’t they doing something about them being up and around?”

“That’s what they pay me for. …Well, killing them again. I’m not about to drag them back into the coffins and shelves.”

Violet raised her eyebrow. “It doesn’t require a priest or something? I’m trying to imagine you doing someone’s final rites and it’s something of a disaster. With the eyes and devilish good looks, you look more like a Daedra’s boy than an Aedra’s.”

Kaidan suddenly turned very quiet and went ahead, leaving her wondering what she had said. She was about to ask when a few skeevers ran screeching from the next room. Kaidan easily flipped them out of the way with his sword and viciously smashed them against the wall. Without missing a beat, he disappeared down a spiral staircase, making her a little hesitant to get near him. Instead of following, she noticed there were a bunch of trinkets on a table and examined those instead. More money for her to pocket, and a soul gem, which she remembered she had more of and hadn’t filled them yet.

“Oi, Starfall!”

“What?!”

“Get down here.”

“Don’t rush me, you missed a bunch of free gold!”

“I want to show you something.” His voice was flat and annoyed.

‘Oh no. What kind of trap is it now?’ She stuffed her bag, and took her time down the stairs, since they looked rotten and about to fall apart any second. When she got to the bottom of the stairs, she nearly screamed as she got a face full of spiderwebs.

“Kaidan?!” Her voice was shaking.

“Keep going, you’re almost there…”

The further she went down the hall, the thicker the spiderwebs were until she was frozen to the spot a few feet from him. His hood was up to protect himself, and just past him around the corner, was a disgustingly thick wall of webbing. Beside it was a window of blocked vines that let her see what he wanted to show her. Two massive, creepy spider legs were waving and clawing to get at them, and a ball of venomous spit narrowly missed hitting her in the face, instead splattering against the wall next to her.

Kaidan fully expected her to take the frostbite spider the size of a bear pretty badly. Maybe some cursing and screaming, a bit of girlish crying like with the chaurus while he chopped the spider’s legs off and stabbed it a few times. He wasn’t expecting three Words of Power, screamed in absolute terror and jolting what felt like the entire mountain loose from Nirn itself. He dove behind a brazier and was almost crushed by a cave-in as everything around them rumbled. He couldn’t see what happened to the spider, but he felt like it was safe to assume it was dead. It wasn’t making chittering noises anymore, and if the instant freeze and ice needles didn’t kill it, getting shattered against the far wall would. While trapped next to a skeleton clutching a large chest, there was a bit of time for reflection. ‘She really wasn’t kidding,’ and, ‘If she buries us alive, I will personally put her out of her misery.’

“What in Oblivion was that?! What’s going on out there?!” A voice called out. It was male and panicked. “Hey! If that spider’s dead, then come help me!”

‘Who in Coldharbor could possibly be down here?! The gate was locked! And the spider!’ Kaidan was able to push a few stones out of the way, but he didn’t have the leverage to make a space big enough to crawl out of. “Shit. STARFALL! GET BACK HERE!”

“FUCK YOU!” she screeched, followed by a lot of coughing. She sounded well back up the hall, possibly back in the stairwell, hiding under the stairs. He was confused as to how she got there because every other time she shouted, she dropped like a stone or at least it paralyzed her.

“IT’S JUST A FUCKING SPIDER AND YOU ALREADY KILLED IT!” ‘And nearly me!’ Kaidan had been in near death experiences that were far less annoying than this.

“Will one of you come and help me already before anything else shows up?!” The man called out.

Kaidan grit his teeth and wedged himself up against the top of the wall of stones blocking him in. After a lot of effort, one stone moved enough that he tumbled out with it and growled in pain at hitting the floor from several feet up. Gods, he was going to feel all of this later. “STARFALL!”

Annoyance slowly grew into rage as he made it all the way back up the hallway and found her wrapped up in her cloak. She was clutching her head in agony and wheezing.

“For gods’ sakes, get a hold of yourself! Fucking damsel.”

“I can’t control it!” she panted and coughed. “Something else takes over and there’s buzzing in my head and my head is fucking killing me and the chanting’s getting louder!”

Instead of coddling her, he roughly snatched her up around her waist and put her in the crook of his arm, pack and all, dragging her back down the tunnel. Thankfully despite her weight, her size was a compromise between the two. “You killed it. It’s done. There aren’t any others.”

The spider was gone, replaced with a pile of dirty ice against the far wall. The cobwebs, however, were still plastering the rest of the room from ceiling to floor. She flinched from it, even when they got to the third source of angry swearing, a Dunmer man tangled up in a doorway full of thick webbing and struggling to get out.

“Oh, thank the gods you two showed up. You’ve got to get me out of this.”

Kaidan was not up for dealing with anyone else’s stupidity tonight. “First, who are you?”

He looked around nervously. “Arvel. Name’s Arvel. Just a mercenary with a hunch. There’s weird goods in here and I swear I’ll let you in on this IF YOU GET ME DOWN ALREADY!”

“Oh gods, please stop yelling, no more yelling…” Violet whined.

“And no more whining. What ‘weird goods’?” Kaidan narrowed his eyes at the man looking more and more suspect by the minute.

“Oh my gods, you are both _killing_ me here. I got a key from Riverwood that opens the puzzle door at the bottom of this place. Some kind of crazy dragon artifact inside from the old Nord times. Even the key’s a golden dragon foot. But you’re not getting anything else out of me!”

That was it. He’d literally been looking for a key for years. Kaidan side-eyed Starfall, but she was glaring at Arvel.

She rubbed her face and immediately regret smearing tiny spider threads across it, shuddering enough Kaidan could feel it across his hip. “Do you know a man named Farengar?”

He hesitated a second. “Uhhh, sure? I mean, who doesn’t?”

Kaidan growled, dumped Starfall on the ground, and started hacking at Arvel’s prison. “You’re going to show us what you’re talking about with the door.”

A few minutes and a gummed-up sword later, the weaselly Dunmer fell to the ground and set himself next to Starfall. “Finally. Been down here for hours, wondering when that spider was going to get hungry. I regret locking the door after me to keep those other guys out.”

Violet grumbled. “You mean the bandits. They’re not a problem anymore.”

“Bah, they’re not even good enough to be called that.” Arvel managed to get to his feet and stretched. “Eaten by skeevers. _Honestly_. The real trick is to—”

Arvel took off down the newly opened hallway, leaving Starfall staring dumbly after him. Kaidan roared in anger and took off after him. He was going to get that damn key one way or another.

“He's pretty fast for someone wearing a full set of armor.” Starfall was not going to be left alone in this hall of horrors for something else to drop down from the ceiling and she’d have another episode. She followed after them at her own pace; Kaidan said there was a locked door down here, and that idiot was going to run into it.

They passed through several rooms before Kaidan saw a stack of tomb shelves at the bottom of the stairs and ground to a halt. He immediately knew what was coming next and was pretty sure that bandit didn’t, considering he couldn’t handle one spider. Starfall jogged up to him and he held out his hand to stop her.

“The draugr.” He whispered.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Teamwork building exercises.

Kaidan carefully led her down the stairs and pointed to a dried-out corpse lying on a shelf. It wore a full set of leather and steel armor, and had a tarnished sword lying over its body.

“Giving up already?!” Arvel shouted from the other end of the room.

Kaidan rubbed his temples. Was everyone stupid from the thin, stale air? He heard Starfall inhale as if she were about to respond and he jammed his hand over her mouth.

“Not a sound.” He whispered.

“Mm!” She grabbed his wrists and glared at him.

They heard shuffling and growling further away, closer to the loud, and soon to be dead, idiot.

“Oh gods!” Arvel screamed.

A hollow, old, and guttural voice shouted, “ _Dir volaan_ _!_ ”

Violet’s eyes went wide, and she pointed frantically over there and at her pounding skull.

Arvel panicked and ran further down the room, only to awaken two more, who quickly surrounded him. He was about to run around the corner into the next chamber, only to trip over a rock jutting out of the ground.

Violet and Kaidan both jumped at the loud clang of metal smashing into stone and leaned around the corner to see what had happened. The wall had flipped around, revealing rows of spikes bolted to an iron grate. Arvel and the draugr closest to him were impaled and batted across the room like ragdolls.

“Kaidan, _no_. Fuck this. This is ridiculous. Selling drugs was safer than this!” Violet hissed through her teeth.

His eyebrows went up. “I thought you were a scholar?!”

“Where the fuck did you think I got the money to stay in college?!” Her voice was rising. “It’s not all cough remedies and love potions!”

The draugr across from them growled, turned his head in their direction, and rose from his shelf.

“How are you having such a hard time with this, when nearly getting bitten in half by a dragon doesn’t seem to faze you?! Just do what you did to the dragon and the bandits outside!” Kaidan readied his sword.

Violet cast Ironskin on herself and gave herself two spears. “One, we’re inside. I can’t change the weather indoors. Two, I don’t think a spike-wall or a needle sprayer will care if I use magic on it. Three, the more magic I use in this relatively small space, the greater the chance that you will get caught in the crossfire and _die_. Especially if you keep running in front of me thinking you have to shield me. You should know better and stop doing that. Add traps around the room going off because I didn’t see a switch or whatever sets them off and pushed something else into it. Four, to do _that_ kind of magic, I have to drink a _lot_ of potions and water. The potion ingredients are poison and I have to risk it backfiring and nearly killing me with only a dragon's soul as insurance at the end! I’m not afraid of _them_ , I’m afraid of fucking this up!”

As soon as the draugr started running for them, she launched an ice spear into its throat. When it didn’t seem to care and kept coming at her, Violet managed to at least slow it down by freezing its feet to the floor. It shouted something and called to the others.

Kaidan considered her reasoning. He really did not want to test just how much of her magic would be nullified between his armor and the amulet. His hands had accidentally gotten caught in one of her ice traps to kill a chaurus, and while he didn’t lose them completely, losing the use of them for several hours was dangerous and painful. Warriors needed to get up close and personal to do their work, but mages needed plenty of space, which they were not going to get down here. He noticed that while her bag was full of potions, she wasn’t using them unless the situation was dire. He growled, ran off to the side of her, and drew two of the incoming undead away.

His black sword clashed with the tarnished steel and easily chipped it, but didn’t shatter it or deter the undead warrior. He’d fought these monsters before. Somehow, dying, losing most of their flesh, and being mostly dormant for years and years didn’t weaken them at all, but they were some of the _angriest_ creatures Kaidan had ever come across. Just as he pushed one off and slashed its arm off, one dressed only in tattered linens screeched at him and wedged her hand axe into his shoulder armor.

“Hmph. Nice try.” An elbow to her face staggered the draugr woman (at least Kaidan thought it used to be a woman) long enough for him to take her axe from his shoulder and smash it back into her chest. Black ooze seeped out, dripping down her front until she crumpled at his feet.

Violet’s trapped draugr flailed in her general direction, trying to break free of the ice growing all over it.

“So are they dead and risen? Who raised you?” She couldn’t help herself; Kaidan was handling himself just fine, and after making sure this awful thing couldn’t escape, she decided to see how it worked. Then they would be one less thing for her to worry about. They obviously used to be people, but however long they’ve been undead and whatever magic was being used was distorted enough she couldn’t tell if it was necromancy, a curse, or something else.

She poked and prodded at it, walking around and getting more and more fascinated. “Despite being half encased in ice, it doesn’t seem to be suffering at all. A living human or animal in the same situation would be either in hysterics or dying, if we ignore the spear in its throat. This thing is just mad and still fixed on getting its hands on me.”

“ _Faaz! Paak! Dinok!_ ” It gurgled thickly and swung a free hand at her.

“Shut up. Just being next to you feels like my skull’s about to crack open.” She groaned and wished she hadn’t taken her earplugs out, but thought it too important to block out any potential danger after the first set of bandits outside. “Nords have a really skewed sense of what counts as ‘honored dead’.”

“Will you stop toying with it?!” Kaidan shouted as he hacked off the remaining draugr’s head.

“I need to know how to do this right, so it doesn’t take forever. Ice isn’t working.” She was mentally working through what magic she knew that could break necromantic magic. She had life magic, but it was for using on herself. Fire was the easy and obvious solution, but she didn’t know how Kaidan would react if she were to start flooding places with fire and explosions. Not that he didn’t deserve a good scare after the spider.

Just as the ice reached its neck, she placed her palm on its temple. With a soul gem in her other hand, lightning jumped between them. A few seconds later, the glowing blue light in its eyes went out and the little pink crystal clouded over with a dark grey hue.

“I guess lightning will do. I need more of them to compare it to fire and light.” She turned around and cast a spell to find any more in the area. “Ugh. One or two, not fifteen.”

“Fifteen?!” Now it was his turn to be unsure about this whole thing. Watching her torture it and calling it ‘studying’ was more like overthinking. This was another reason he hated magic. It couldn’t be as simple as the sharp bit goes in the fleshy bit. They could be down here for days with her “experiments”.

“Not all together. They’re in small groups, or alone. The next room has another three.”

“Don’t scare me like that. These aren’t particularly strong, but I do have a limit.” He said.

“Hmph.” Violet grunted, grabbed her things, and went over to the spike trap.

Staying out of range of the grate, she looked for what had set it off. The only thing out of place was a little rock sticking out of the otherwise smooth stone floor.

“Hey, is this what set off the trap?”

“Does it have a rune on it?” Kaidan asked over his shoulder. He was picking through Arvel's broken corpse. When he pulled a solid gold dragon's claw out of his bag, he sighed with the first bit of relief since they left Whiterun.

“Yes?”

“Drop a weight on it and stand back.” He watched her from the corner of his eye.

“No childishly easy puzzle on this one, I guess.” She picked up one of the draugr’s weapons, an old rusted greatsword, and tossed it across the stone. The metal grate snapped around like an upright bear trap, slamming against the stone wall. Even though she was right there watching it, the noise still made her jump and clutch at her head. “I did not need that.”

Kaidan came up beside her, reading Arvel’s journal and putting the golden claw into her hands. “‘ _My fingers are trembling. The Golden Claw is finally in my hands, and with it, the power of the ancient Nordic heroes. That fool Lucan Valerius had no idea that his favorite store decoration was actually the key to Bleak Falls Barrow. Now I just need to get to the Hall of Stories and unlock the door. The legend says there is a test that the Nords put in place to keep the unworthy away, but that when you have the golden claw, the solution is in the palm of your hands.’_ It sounds like he stole the key from a store. But then, where did the store get it?”

The claw was heavy, narrow, battered, worn, and heavily stylized after a dragon’s foot. Violet turned it over and around in examination. “How is this a key? I mean I suppose the claws would be like a regular key’s notches, but why wouldn’t you just put three sticks together to get the same shape?”

“Remember the puzzle from upstairs?”

“With the three animals? …Oh, the palm has three animals on it.” She squinted in the candlelight. “The claw is so old the animals are starting to wear down. But I think this is a bear, a moth or butterfly, and a really bad picture of a bird.”

“The doors I’ve been locked out of have giant wheels with pictures of animals on them. This Hall of Stories is where we need to go, then.”

A short break and they continued on. Violet tested more of her spells on the draugr, and Kaidan made a handy distraction. Electricity worked well enough, but she found it difficult to direct safely away from Kaidan if he was in a group of them. Any restoration magic she tried didn’t do anything, so she made a note to study a basic exorcism spell or two. Fire was easily a much better weapon, but she was torn on using it. One with a bow put an arrow through her calf and belly, angering her enough that maybe Kaidan wouldn’t overreact and be fine as long as it wasn’t _him_ on fire. Let’s test that.

She pulled the arrows out of the shallow wounds with one hand and healed herself with the other. High flames erupted where the undead was standing, incinerating its weapons and withered flesh in seconds. The draugr she bathed in flames screamed in agony and the whole scene made Kaidan freeze up, enough that the other monster he was fighting was able to get a hit in. A helmeted one wedged its sword between the plates protecting his side and stunned him. Violet quickly froze it solid and slipped her hand into Kaidan’s armor to seal the wound.

 “Truce then,” she sighed. “I won’t use fire unless it’s an emergency, you don’t ever do the bug thing again.”

“You’re going to ha-aaaGGH!” He almost took a swing at her when the fiery wisps of light leaked out from under the black plates, and her fingers pinched the wound shut. He leaned against the wall, panting. “Can’t you do _that_ without the bloody fire?!”

“No. At least you’re not the one drinking liquified, salted fish paste and then operating on yourself. Do you want to try it?” She pulled her hand out covered in his blood and looked for something to clean it.

It took a few minutes before the soreness was bearable enough to move again, choosing to talk his way through it. “Your bedside manner is _horrible_!”

She found some old, ratty, mummifying linens in the corner and voiced disgust before giving up and simply using fast, bright flames across her hand to burn the blood and clap the dust off. “That’s why I sell potions instead of devoting to a temple. That and the gods are assholes.”

 “I can understand why you hate Akatosh, but what have the others done?”

“Sat back and watched.”

“Hm.”

*

Moving along, they found another trap, and after spending far too much time trying to explain to Kaidan that her magic wasn’t working on the internal mechanisms of the swinging blades, Violet just decided to cast Ironskin and hope. Kaidan insisted that he should go first since his armor was stronger and he was faster than her, but she dropped to the floor and shimmied under the trap, missing it entirely. On the other side, there was a pull ring, and on looking for another trap layered on top of that one, decided to pull it. The blades retracted into the walls.

“I don’t even remember a stone back there.” She wasn’t sure but also wasn’t interested enough to go back and look.

He hurried through all the same. “Some of them just run all the time.”

“How, though? Soul gems run out, if that’s how it was going, and it should have just worn down from friction if it’s been running for ages.”

“I think there’s a lot of ancient magic running these places. Maybe the draugr have just enough energy to do repairs. Just another reason to hate it.” Kaidan shrugged.

They were pretty sure they weren’t lost, since there weren’t many side hallways, and the cave-ins cut off any other ways to go, but after another several hours of walking and fighting, they were thankful for the change in scenery, even if it did mean that somehow that part of the barrow was cut in half and potentially ruined by the waterfall. Kaidan looked over the edge into the churning waters below. Three shiny, black eyes stared back; a troll hooted angrily and started bounding up the ledge. “How in the world did a troll get down here?”

She was staying back and not actually looking with him... “Maybe it fell? For how it looks like sunrise, it looks like we’re on the side of the mountain. So how do we get across this?”

“Just have to go around. There’s another path down there.” He pointed to a side path leading downward.

She followed him and whimpered quietly when she saw the whole waterfall area bisecting the barrow. The falls had carved down about fifty meters down, with wet, slippery ledges leading around to where they needed to go. She clung for dear life to Kaidan’s cloak, hoping he wouldn’t notice her fidgeting. Just as they were getting to the other side and back into the barrow, the troll below sprinted up the ledge leading to them.

“Shit Kaidan it’s coming we have to go I cannot fight on the ledges here!” She breathed quickly. “Go go go go go!”

“I hear it, keep going!” He moved faster and pulled her around the corner into a path of glowing mushrooms.

The solid ground steadied her nerves, at least until the troll ran in after them. Bolts of lightning scared it back, but the second she stopped, it roared and charged again. Kaidan ran up and tackled the much larger troll backwards, where it fell off of the slippery ledge.

“That should be enough to keep it off of us. Hate trolls.” He said. “Though I suppose you’ll have wanted it for potions.”

Violet tried to steady herself and will her pounding heart to calm down. As soon as she saw Kaidan look in her direction, she started cutting the glowing mushrooms off of the walls. “I’ll take these as consolation.”

“We need those to see—oh, right.” He’d barely finished before she flicked a magelight to the top of her head. It looked as if she had a halo.

The carved walls and candles were all gone, replaced with dank cave walls, mushrooms, and a network of streams leading all over the mountain. “Is this still the barrow?” She asked, looking around.

“I think so. Never been here before, but sometimes the Nords would just incorporate the caves and natural caverns into whatever they built.”

A few more tunnels and the sarcophagi came back, full of undead angry about their trespassing. She badly wanted to set off an oil trap that the draugr were patrolling through, but she foolishly set a no fire rule. Though it technically wasn’t _her_ starting the fire…

He could already see it on her face. “Don’t. If you set off that trap, it’s going to burn for ages and then we’ll have to wait for it to go out.”

“Fine.” She said, pouting a little. She was now very bored and tired of fighting, wanting to get out of the barrow before she started to shrivel too.

They finally came up to a double wide door, guarded by a single draugr who was muttering to himself in Old Nord, or whatever. Violet didn’t care anymore, she just wanted them all to shut up. The chanting was getting louder, and it was making it difficult to hear or think of anything else. Not to mention the six hours of sleep she’d had in the last forty-eight, with the rest spent fighting and exploring. She took a peek around the rubble filling most of the room, then tried to get Kaidan to take over on the condition that she’d both heal and support him if things turned dangerous. He finally agreed, just to make her stop whining.

“You do understand that we’re probably going to have to do this several more times? Gathering artifacts and ancient knowledge to figure out just what the prophecies say about us, since there aren’t any recent records of dragons, Dragonborn, or Akaviri. And I’m going to be honest with you, this was one of the _less_ horrible barrows I’ve been in. You’re going to bloody hate the ones that take days or have bandit gangs or entire Falmer tribes squatting in them. Bandits have these _really_ lazy traps that make you feel extra stupid for falling for them.” Kaidan was getting tired as well, though he wouldn’t admit it at this point. He leaned against a fallen column and rubbed his face.

“You’re being awfully cruel to your healer. Are you sure you want to do that? Are you sure you’re good enough you won’t need support from here on out?”  

“Yes.” As he unsheathed his sword, Starfall shook her head and ran her hand along his blade, making the silver edge and draconic runes glow bright white.

Even though he couldn’t use magic himself, he was familiar with being “used” by mages and was instantly wary. “What did you do?”

“It’s like a temporary enchantment, or like poisoning a blade with magic. You can now strike with lightning. My concentration’s just too bad at this point for long range control. Have fun with my cosmic powers for the next few minutes. And I suggest you don’t touch it out of curiosity, same as poison.” She waved him off and started digging in her bag for more water and anything that would lessen her headache.

He turned the sword over in examination, then back at her. “Why didn’t you do this earlier?”

“It uses up a lot of my energy. Plus, you were doing so well without my help. Now you’re faking at not being tired, and we both want to get out of here and collapse into a nice… warm… soft… bed…” Violet pulled her hood up and groaned.

“We’ll rest in Riverwood after this is done.” The mention of sleeping in a bed and her whining made him want to throw her to the draugr. There was going to be a _long_ talk about all of this, once they got to safety…

He left the relative safety of cover, rushed up, and slashed down the front of the surprised draugr. The sword easily cut open the leather armor, the dull crackle of electricity coursed through what was left of its flesh, and it dropped to one knee.

“Huh, it worked…” Violet was still watching from around the corner.

“What do you mean ‘it worked’?!” Kaidan shouted. He quickly ran his sword through the draugr’s chest, and its flesh turned black and charred in spiderwebs outwards from the center. Not quite dead yet, it flailed and grabbed his wrists to pull itself closer to him, instantly turning its hands to ash. In a split second of panic, Kaidan grabbed the draugr’s head to push it away, only for that to crackle with lightning and collapse into dust as well. Seeing it disintegrate from touching _him_ was almost made him throw the sword and draugr away in disgust.

She winced, both from the volume and the tone. “Just that I read once that in a pinch, casting a spell on a weapon could work as a hasty, low-quality enchantment. Never actually tried it before. Not sure why it spread to you. Maybe because you were holding it? But that was really good, considering I didn’t even use that powerful of a spell on it.”

“Starfall!” Using his sword, he flung the dead draugr up against the door, making it slam open. “And what if it didn’t?!”

She jumped from the bangs of the body hitting the door and the door hitting the walls, then backed away from him. “You wouldn’t have _died_ , if that’s what you’re insinuating…”

“ _Don’t **ever** use me for your damned magic experiments again._” Kaidan sounded as if he was three seconds from grabbing her just to see what would happen. He held his hands out and away from himself until the crackling light quickly dimmed and died. His sword returned to normal at the same time.

“…The fire?” Violet asked quietly. She’d assumed (very wrongly now) that he didn’t like fire because he’d been trapped in one. But combined with his fear of magic, she started reassessing.

“You of all people should know not to do shit to people without their consent.” He snatched the claw from her hands. “We’re here.”


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mission Complete. Grade: ... D. Do better next time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, paste Dovahzul into thuum.org.

The long hallway of Bleak Falls’ inner sanctum was carved floor to ceiling with murals of a grand funeral taking place. Robed attendants carrying the deceased on a grand litter, decorated animals, hundreds of constellations that probably weren’t accurate anymore pointing the way through the door, and a dragon taking up the whole ceiling escorting them all.

Kaidan turned the dragon claw over, studying it, then the tall door. The animals matched. This was it. Thankfully, he was tall enough to reach the outer ring, as Starfall only reached up to the center ring. Not that she was interested in being near him right then. While he was working the door, she was trying to occupy her thoughts with deciphering the mural. She talked aloud at nothing, which then filled her head with not quite enough noise to block out her guilt and the chanting. They were behind the door, whomever they were. Either Kaidan was deaf, or this was one more piece of her ongoing nightmare.

The dragon’s three claws were a little bent, but fit into the key slots with a bit of force. When he turned it, the lock plate turned just like a regular lock, and the whole room rumbled as the large stone door slowly sank into the floor. The antechambers after each became larger and larger until the barrow opened up into a low ceiling tunnel full of bats (that Violet jumped at and then froze out of the air), and finally, a massive cavern. A stream ran through the middle, and the top was open enough that the rising sun illuminated the entire place.

“Gods, you’re telling me you can’t hear this?!” She shouted with her fingers in her ears.

“The only sound in here is running water and the wind blowing in from the roof.” He grumbled.

“ _RahGOL… ahrk… VULOM_?!” Violet gasped. The echo of the chants bouncing off the walls and ceiling were too hard to ignore, until she wasn’t sure which thoughts were hers.

“What?” He turned to her. She was turning pale and weak before his eyes. “Starfall?”

“WALL!” She shouted and pointed at it. “HELP!”

Just as he went up to her, she leaned into his arms, chanting the same gibberish as the draugr. “Hey. No. Come back to me. Starfall, you’re scaring me here…”

Even though she was dizzy and none of her potions were helping, Violet led him across the rocky stream and up the stairs. Kaidan saw the sarcophagus in the center of the platform and was already quietly cursing. They were tired, she was delirious and possibly being possessed, and he was out of patience. The closer they got, the more fidgety she became, until she pushed out of his arms and fell to her knees in front of the giant memorial wall carved with a dragon’s face and runes. Her voice shook the cavern and the echo finally made Kaidan cover his ears.

“ ** _HET NOK FAAL VAHLOK DEINMAAR DO DOVAHGOLZ AHRK FUS DO UNSLAAD RAHGOL AHRK VULOM_** _!_ ”

The only things she could see were the waves of light, and the blinding words dancing on the wall in the darkness. She could only hear those words, and not even from herself. Her whole mind went dark for a moment, save for a small memory flickering like a dying flame.

_Force. **Fus**._

The moment she stopped talking, the sarcophagus lid slowly slid open and cracked in half as it hit the floor.

‘Thanks for waking it up, Starfall.’ Kaidan rubbed his face and groaned.

The draugr used its sword to climb out, the tip cracking the stone platform as it dug in. “ _DOVAHKIIN_ …” It focused on the woman down on the ground. Starfall was still frozen in place, mesmerized by the wall. She didn’t even hear it stalking towards her, the dragging sword screeching against stone.

“Get up!” He shouted. Something had happened with that wall, but just like all the noise she was complaining about, he wasn’t able to sense any of it. She still wasn’t moving when he moved between them and blocked the draugr’s swing at her head. “Starfall!”

The draugr narrowed its glowing blue eyes. “ _DOVAHKRIID_!! _AKAVIRI TAFIIR_! _DIR_!!!”

This ancient monster knowing who or what Kaidan was, was enough to throw him off. The draugr Deathlord easily swatted his sword aside with its own enchanted ebony blade, grabbed him by the collar, and opened its mouth wide. This thing was not a simple peon like the ones on the other side of the door, or the others he had met in other barrows. This monster was sealed behind that thick, stone, puzzle door and the key was hidden on purpose. To keep the unworthy out. Him, but not _her_. All of this was meant for the _Dragonborn_.

**_“FUS RO DAH!”_ **

Violet was jolted awake just in time to see Kaidan’s body slam into her and smash them both into the memorial wall. The force of him hitting her, then both of them hitting the stone wall was accented by the sound of cracking glass and bones. She had barely gotten her vision back and now everything was full of white stars and black static.

‘Fus Fus fus fusssszzzzssshit what happened I can’t move—’ Everything was ringing and impossibly heavy and the air was made of boiling blood. Trying to inhale turned into trying to scream and that was even worse.

‘Gods fucking damn it why didn’t you _move_?!’ Kaidan’s armor felt like it weighed more than a mammoth and he was crushed inside of it. ‘FUCKING STARFALL!’ Not that her moving would have helped anything; he had no idea if she could even do anything about it if the same dragon magic were used on her. He knew he had collided with her as he was thrown across the platform but couldn’t figure out much more than that. At least until he heard the draugr’s footsteps coming closer. ‘Get up get up get up before it kills us both!’

‘—I told him I told him I messed it up I can’t breathe need air oh gods Kaidan I’m sorry—’ Finally desperation overrode pain and she inhaled as deep as she could, only to lose the whole thing in a coughing fit.

Kaidan felt her shudder underneath him and began to panic and claw at the wall trying to get up. “Are you awake now?!”

The sparkles in her vision faded enough she could see an ornately armored draugr coming towards them. “F-fffire now?” She managed to squeak.

“Yes! Now! Please!” He had his sword back, and was on his feet, but was still unsteady with every bone screaming in agony.

She could move her arm and hand enough to draw a semi-circle on the ground, and a wall of flames erupted to cut off the Deathlord’s advance. Kaidan inched away from it, but was still thankful for the reprieve. It threw its hands up to shield itself and stalked back and forth waiting for her magic to die off.

 _“Daanik kendovve…_ ” It growled at them, heating its blade in the flames until the ebony metal glowed red.

“Now would also be a very good time to take every potion you’ve got…” He looked down at her crumpled up in the corner with dark puddles forming from her chest and mouth. “Please tell me that’s not as bad as it looks...”

She tried to push herself upright and failed miserably. Reaching into her breast pocket, a bloody shard of glass came out instead of a whole bottle. “Pff… I told you if you rolled over on me, you’d shred me.”

“What in Coldharbor happened?!”

“The wall, same as… the dragon souls. I absorbed… the wall?” Violet shakily checked herself over. Her chest was full of lava. Breathing was almost too difficult. She smelled both blood and her potions soaking into her robe. The headache was no longer metal on stone screeching, but mace to the skull throbbing. A step down if she had to rate it. “I think you crushed my ribs. …And my potions. I can hold this wall for a few more minutes until… we can figure this out, but the longer… it takes, the less magic I’ll have to kill this thing.”

They only had one chance, then. “Do you at least have enough magic to heal? Either me or you?”

Her head dropped back to the cold, hard floor and the fire wall flickered.

“Hey! No! Stay awake!”

She was down to mumbling. “I’m trying. But I can’t… heal myself with glass in my chest. It’s going to… have to be you. …Give me your hand. I've… got enough for you and I need… to enchant your sword again. …Please. I’ve barely got enough … and you need to be _fast_.”

He knelt down and put his sword in front of her, and she shakily reached out for his hand. Grasping it weakly, she passed bright yellow flames up along his arm and across his body. His armor didn’t weigh a ton now, but everything still felt ragged. Using the fire from the wall, she ran her fingers over the silver edge until it glowed white hot and smoked. As soon as the spell wove around it, the fire wall dropped, and the Deathlord's eyes brightened. It charged in, fiery sword waving in the air.

“ ** _FUS—_** ” Violet barely got the entire word out before she passed out.

Kaidan was almost stunned from her use of the new spell that the Deathlord had just used on them, but remembered that was what almost got them killed a few minutes ago. The force of the word blew the draugr’s feet out from under it, dropping it to its hands and knees. The Dragonguard roared and was on it in a second, despite just barely being upright himself. He was not going to waste the one opportunity Starfall had given him. Kaidan seized it by a horn on its helm, snapped its head back, and ran his sword through its throat just as it opened its mouth again to shout. It grabbed his sword only for its hands to burst into flames, but this time Kaidan didn’t care. Thick gurgling came out instead of a shout, and he twisted and sawed the blade until the draugr's head came off. It rolled onto the floor, leaving the helmet in his hand.

“Ughhh… Charred draugr…” He hated the stink of the undead under normal circumstances. This new dimension of horror, plus the adrenaline wearing off made his stomach lurch and knees shake, so he stumbled back over to Starfall.

“Please don’t be dead.” He put his back to the wall and slid down beside her. ‘Please, Divines…’

No answer. She was still crumpled up in a heap and the puddle of red was only getting larger.

“Shit.” He realized that she had let her armor lapse well before they had entered the room, and him plus his armor and gear were almost three hundred pounds that had used her as a cushion, hitting her against a stone wall with the force of an avalanche. He felt his chest armor and the metal just below his collar was so badly dented inwards, it was cutting into his chest. They were both lucky they weren’t shattered into tiny pieces like she usually left her victims.

Because he’d hesitated.

He had no choice but to turn her over and lay her out. She was still barely breathing. That was something, he supposed. Most of the liquid at her chest was her broken potions, but the red dripping down the corner of her mouth was definitely all blood. He was not a healer and he was pretty sure his own couple of vials were crushed in the impact. He did have bandages. She still had a needle and thread. Stop the bleeding, stitch her back together. Figure out how to get her all the way to Riverwood. Don’t think about how that sounds like far too much with what felt like his soul smashed out of the back of his body and his skull still ringing.

Unlacing the top of her robe revealed a wet, shredded mess. But none of her ribs had broken through her skin, and her chest was the correct shape (not caved in like his armor). It took a lot of time and a lot of picking with his hunting dagger to pull all of the shrapnel out. He hoped he had pulled all of the glass out, panicked a bit when removing the biggest shards made the bleeding worse, then he quickly stitched the worst cuts shut and bound her chest as tight as he could make it. (‘How on Nirn did her ribs break with this much padding?!’)

Now to figure out how to get her out of there; he wasn’t in the best shape himself. It was a ridiculously long shot, but he checked the various troves the draugr was buried with for inspiration, and possibly something to pay a healer when they got back to town. The draugr itself had a little stone slab with a map on it. ‘Probably what she came all this way for. She’d probably shout me to pieces if I forgot this…’ There were plenty of gold and gems, the Deathlord’s weapon, and some artifacts he couldn’t identify. So much for that.

The only way he could think of was to carry her, but the prospect of going all the way back through this death-trap and possibly waking up more draugr while she could possibly be dying wasn’t even worth considering, so he kept exploring the cavern they were in. There were steps upward behind the memorial, and scouting the path, the cramped, crumbling tunnel led outside to the side of the mountain. It was on a dangerous cliff face that would require they drop down several feet at a time and possibly becoming even more injured. There was really no choice. The view was familiar, though.

‘Wait a minute. This place… my camp!’ He could see a little tent and fire circle on the edge of the lake right below. They could rest there. Hopefully the Thalmor wouldn’t believe he’d be stupid enough to go back to where he was first captured, because things were pretty dire right now. At least they didn’t destroy it. He went back for her, carefully picked her up, and carried her out to the fresh, freezing air and blinding sunshine.

*

By the time Violet regained consciousness, she had no idea where she was or how much time had passed. Everything that made up her mind and body was screaming.

‘The noise, and Kaidan was—oh gods what happened?! I’m sorry I fucked this up completely! I should have tried harder to block out the noise! I tried to tell you! Please don’t hate me! I need your help! Please Kai don’t be dead, I tried to help…’ Déjà vu kicked in, and in trying to sit up to figure out what was going on, her entire torso seized up and flat out refused to work. She was pinned down by both pain and a lot of heavy warmth. All that regret and terror came out as a gasp, coughing, and a squawk.

“It’s okay. Don’t try to move. Just go back to sleep.” Kaidan whispered.

Violet looked around in the darkness and finally recognized that they were outdoors somewhere, Kaidan was half asleep and hugging her, and she was wrapped up tight in a fur-filled bedroll. He had the sense to take off all that leather and ebony so it could have been worse. He was still too heavy to be smothering her like this, though. She checked herself and was able to feel her simple wool dress; whatever happened must have ruined her robes again. The taste of blood was still in her mouth. Fuck. She raised her voice only to scare herself back into a whisper. “Kaidan, what—?!”

He winced at the noise and a dim, sleepy eye opened up. “Shh. You’re safe. Killed the draugr. Found your tablet. Camping out at the bottom of the mountain until you’re well enough to move. It’s the middle of the next night.”

“That was…” She couldn’t say unhelpful, as it summed up everything pretty well, but also at the same time wasn’t nearly enough.

“Don’t. Just sleep it off.” He mumbled, already falling back to sleep himself.

“I… I’m sorry.”

He was quiet for a long time. “…Me too.”


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Debriefing.

It was several more days of her going in and out of consciousness, frequent attempts and failures at healing magic, and a few trips to a strange, old woman living alone in a cabin nearby before they’d recuperated enough to really put together what happened back in Bleak Falls.

“I think we both learned a lot of lessons back there.” Kaidan sat by the fire, roasting a pheasant he’d caught and some leeks he bought from Anise.

Violet could only retreat deeper into the furs and groan. “Like, ‘I _hate_ this.’ And, ‘I can’t keep this up.’”

He sighed. “It was horrible, aye. And we both almost died. Okay. And we’ll probably have nightmares and guilt for weeks—”

Her voice was muffled by the furs. “Please, stop.”

“But we _can’t_ stop, now. We’ve barely started, if the way one draugr managed to literally snap us in half with one spell is any indication. You said you absorbed something from the wall. And then you used that draugr’s spell against it. You have two spells now. We now know that draugr speak Draconic. You were in a trance, but when it attacked me, it _knew_ me. Or rather, what I am. It called me Akaviri, among other things. I think. It said ‘ _Dovah_ … _kriid_ … Akaviri… something.’ None of them have done that before. We have to find more about the language. There’s several other barrows across Skyrim, and there have to be other memorial walls. We just have to be much better prepared. Get more practice, like you said. Figure out how to keep you from losing several minutes sitting prone every time you learn a new word. Keep out that noise so you can keep your head about you.”

“We should have left when I said the first time.” She sniffled quietly. Her throat was starting to close up and hurt again.

He ignored her. “I’ve been studying this tablet. It looks sort of like Skyrim, just with slightly different borders, which makes sense, since this thing is a few thousand years old. There’s two little stars outside of old Windhelm where the dragon mounds are, and one close to where Whiterun is, where you were attacked by the Falmer. You should copy this before you give it back to the court mage.”

Violet was still hiding.

“You can’t go home ‘til you’ve sorted this whole thing out, you hate Skyrim so that should be enough incentive, and I’m not carrying you this whole journey.” He was getting exasperated.

“You’re used to this shit! Living in the woods for weeks at a time, hunting and killing everything, just barely getting out alive, everyone around you is a stranger who possibly wants you dead, the world is _endless_ instead of one city district, new skills, new threats, do you know what it’s like to have something else take over your mind and drive you like a fucking _cart_?!”

“Yes, actually.” He growled.

Even though she was buried in furs, her tantrum was enough to make the nearby water lapping out of the lake vibrate, freeze, and crumble over and over as it hit the shore. Kaidan closed his eyes and covered his face with his hands. She was too old for this shit and far too powerful. This wasn’t how he imagined avatars of the Divines to act. “Am I going to have to listen to you bitch about this the entire time?!”

“HOW ARE YOU NOT PANICKING ABOUT THIS AT ALL?!” She was just determined and mad enough to scream before it devolved into a coughing fit, then pained hyperventilating and crying.

He screamed into his hands, his accent growing heavy enough it all slurred together in enough swearing to impress Starfall, if she weren’t stewing in impotent rage and tears. “ **WHO FUCKING SAID I’M NOT?! I ALMOST GOT YOU _KILLED_! DO Y’HAVE ANY IDEA HOW GODSDAMNED BAD IT WOULD BE FOR THE DRAGONBORN TO DIE CONSIDERING THERE’S ONLY ONE OF YOU ‘ND WHATEVER HAPPENS NEXT IS EVIDENTLY SOME SHIT ONLY _YOU_ CAN SOLVE?! ‘ND FOR FUCK’S SAKE, CALM DOWN! Y’R GOING TO RIP Y’R STITCHES ‘ND PASS OUT AGAIN!**”

“I know you poor things are having a terrible time, but you’re scaring the fish. And you’re upsetting Sig.” Kaidan’s neighbor, Anise, hobbled up with a fishing pole in one hand and her cane in the other. A nervous, fidgeting skeleton followed a few steps behind her.

Violet squeaked out a curse and tried to scrabble out of her pallet.

Kaidan took a deep breath, held his hand out in front of Starfall, then turned to Anise. He previously knew she was a witch after seeing skeletal footprints in her muddy garden, but didn’t need the aggravation, so they agreed to let each other be. “It’s okay. Anise and I have an understanding. We leave each other alone, no one gets hurt. Anise. Why are you walking around with your _thrall_ out where people could _see_?”

“Sig’s protection, dear. Dear husband passed away eight years ago, leaving me here, alone in the woods, all by myself. Can’t say I don’t miss the fleshy bits, but at least the yelling and hitting stopped.” She cackled viciously.

Violet stopped sniffling and looked at her like she was flaying Sig’s flesh off right in front of them.

Anise eased herself down onto a large rock on the lake shore, and Sig sat down on the ground beside her, hugging his knees. “Anyway, my medicine must be doing the trick, as you’re both full of fire like a couple of young dragons. Been snooping around in the barrow, and you got the fright of your lives, eh?”

Violet only groaned and coughed.

“Mmhmm, I know that miserable sound anywhere. But you two didn’t die, now did'ja? This one is right, though. Won’t do you any good to lie here paralyzed. Bears live around here and you’d just be a free meal. Ha!” The old woman cast her line and had the skeleton watch over it.

“…Is …is he… still in there?” Violet’s morbid curiosity wouldn’t let her look away.

“Who, Sig? Oh goodness, no. The actual bastard's probably rotting in the Soul Cairn by now.”

The skeleton shrugged and kept fishing.

“What the fuck.” This was almost as terrible as the barrow. At least in there, the dead weren’t being manipulated as far as she could find, they were in there being evil all on their own.

“Alright, Anise. Quit scaring her. Redguards don’t like that stuff. _I_ don’t like that stuff. Starfall, how about we just take it easy for a while at Riverwood and then the Throat of the World. No more monsters. No more staring death in the face for a long while. We’ll go ask the Greybeards about all of this, then you can finish healing somewhere close, do your scholarly thing, and figure out what to do from there. Give you some time to think.”

She sighed and threw her hands up. “Whatever. There aren’t any good alternatives.”

“There you go, dear. Take breaks. Do whatever you need to. Have _fun_. Because a good mage knows a tired mind is how spells backfire. And then you’re a hagraven and crazy as Sheogorath. That kind of curse is _permanent_.” Anise shook her head.

Violet simply nodded slowly. Why was this crazy old woman who murdered her husband giving her sage advice?

Sig clattered around as he reeled in the line and seemed to watch a salmon flop about at his feet. “Ah, that’s a nice big one, dear. Do you two want to have lunch with me?”

Kaidan looked away. “That’s… alright. We need to get packed up. Since she has enough energy to flail, she has enough energy to _walk_.”

Violet was still staring at the witch and skeleton suspiciously. Anise waved her cane at her. “Yes, yes, necromancy is bad. I have a feeling that whatever’s got you digging up the dead up there and seeing those stuffy old mountain goats over there is going to show you that a stray skeleton here and there is going to be the least of your problems, young lady. Sig here even decided to be a sweetie and had a peek around while you two were out cold to make sure those damn uppity elves didn’t come around again.”

She grimaced. “I… did not need to hear that.”

“You did. Come on, Sig. They'll figure it out.” she pointed the way with the cane.

Sig didn’t bother to wave goodbye as he picked up his catch and followed her back along the shore.

“Kaidan.”

He gave a heavy sigh and taste-tested a pheasant leg. “Mm.”

“Why is your neighbor an old, crazy necromancer who keeps her dead husband around?”

“She’s mostly harmless.”

“It’s not right.”

“Neither was what you did to those bandits.” He leaned over and gave her a plate.

“That was self-defense.”

“So was what she did, evidently. Not that Sig could tell us otherwise. Quit overthinking and eat.”

*

With Kaidan’s help standing and a walking stick he snapped off of a tree, Starfall followed him around the mountain and up to Riverwood. He wasn’t happy about having to carry both of their packs, but the second he put hers on her back, she made a dying animal noise, fell backwards, and passed out from the pain. The village had a thick, ominous fog rolling across it in the early morning. The Sleeping Giant Inn was little, humble, but well taken care of. Kaidan dumped their packs beside their table against the far wall and flopped down on a bench, while Violet used her foot to push a chair over and eased herself into it.

“I’m probably not going to be able to get up again, now.” Her head dropped back.

“We’ll find you more medicine soon. I know there’s a trader nearby, and if any of your flowers survived, there’s an alchemy table over there.”

“I need a dedicated alchemy bag.”

“But then you won’t be a spriggan anymore.” He gave her a little smile.

She sighed. “I’m just going to admit now, that I have no idea what a spriggan looks like exactly, other than evidently it has flower hair. It’s not a desert creature, and I’ve only received _pieces_ of them in a few incredibly expensive alchemy shipments.”

Kaidan realized this next bit could go very badly, then. “Oh. Uhm. Women who look like trees, or are they trees shaped like women? Brown wooden skin, glowy bits, leaves and flowers for hair, giant claws, sometimes elk antlers. I used to spend time with them when I was a lad; I called them the ‘nice tree mums’ because my godfather Brynjar said they were ‘Earth Mothers’. I don’t think they’d like me very much now that I’m all grown up and pulling trees apart to burn and make walking sticks with.”

Violet thought for a little bit and decided to follow Anise’s advice, then pulled a few flowers out of her pack and stuck them in her hair, grew a pair of ice ‘antlers’ and claws, then drew a sign on her chest and turned her skin from flesh to tree bark. She completed the look by hiding a few tiny magelights in her hair and dress.

“Like… that…?” Kaidan blinked at her, unsure of what to say. Probably wasn’t a good idea to mention that they ran around stark naked.

“I forgive you, my son.” She patted his arm with disturbing ice fingers, making him snort.

The innkeeper heard them talking and came out of her room. “Welcome to the Sleeping Giant Inn, I- whoa, whoa. What are you doing bringing a spriggan in here?!”

“I probably should have asked if they’re friendly or not, because I’m actually stuck like this.” She looked back and forth between Kaidan and the innkeeper.

“I guess your impression is very good.” He laughed.

The woman came up to them and squinted at her. “Why in the world are you dressed up like a spriggan?”

“He was trying to describe one to me.” Violet shrank a little bit in embarrassment, then stuffed the flowers back in her pack and put out the lights. The antlers and her skin were still stuck.

“O…kay. You two need breakfast? Rooms?” Great. Weird travelers turning up first thing in the morning and it was far too early for weirdos.

“I’m not even sleepy. I’m just tired and everything hurts. But a room, yes.” She turned to Kaidan. “We need to organize all this junk before we sell it. And my septims are all mixed up in my bag with the _other_ currency. Tell me you at least grabbed one or two things.”

“Nothing big because I was too busy trying to save you. Why did you mix all the money up?”

“Because my mind went ‘shiny goes in shiny pouch’. Plus, I’d already gotten a good pile from the bandits before we caught up to each other and that was the only spot with enough room.”

“Well I guess you’re going to have to dig them out and find them. Told you before, I’m broke.” Kaidan shrugged.

“Then how did you pay Anise for the food and medicine?” Violet narrowed her eyes.

Kaidan avoided her gaze. “I gave her some of the extra ingredients in your bag because she said she could turn them into potions to save you. Didn’t think you’d mind, considering the state you were in.”

“If you gave her any of the good stuff…”

“You picked up almost all of it off the side of the road! I didn’t think any of it was! I’m not an alchemist!”

“Kaidan…” She groaned and rubbed her face.

“Are Anise and Sig still out by the lake being creepy?” Delphine sighed.

Violet nodded.

“She needs to come back to town more often. I think the isolation’s getting to her, poor thing.”

‘You think?!’ She nudged her pack over to Kaidan with her foot. “Since you like rooting around in my things, you can find the money. It’s probably all shaken up.”

He rolled his eyes, then widened them when he opened up the pack’s side pocket. “You found this much?! And is that a diamond?! No wonder I couldn’t find anything!”

“I’m keeping the diamond. Do _not_ sell it. And yes. It all adds up, doesn’t it? You said you could work a forge. Can you make a few rings and medallions out of it? Or can you only do things like take care of your armor and weapons?”

“There’s enough here for a few _ingots_. And I don’t have the tools to make jewelry. Even if I did, it wouldn’t be very pretty. I can make a few things, but I’m not an artisan, either.”

“Doesn’t have to be pretty, I’m going to enchant it. The magic will be worth more than the gold, even if it’s just my apprenticed enchanting.”

‘Wait…’ Delphine furrowed her brows, studying the two of them. “Mercenaries?”

“Mm.” Kaidan kept picking out the septims.

“He is. I don’t know what’s going on, anymore.” Violet sighed.

“You’re pretending to be a tree spirit, evidently.” She crossed her arms and leaned in close between them to whisper. “And _shouting_ loud enough to be heard all the way across the valley.”

They both looked up at her in shock. She nodded over to a side room. “I know it’ll be a little hard for the Outlander to be inconspicuous, but you two should probably be a little _quieter_ and more discreet. Hey Orgnar. Hold down the bar for a few minutes.”

Kaidan had forgotten his hood was off and he quickly shaded his eyes, even though it was so early no one had even arrived for breakfast yet, save for a man half-asleep, half-drunk at the bar.

“Do you know her?” Violet asked as she struggled to get up.

“No. Keep on guard.” He helped her and followed the suspect woman into the little room that was a bit cramped for all three of them.

As soon as the door closed behind them, Delphine leaned on the wall and dropped her voice to a whisper. “Well over a month ago, the guards come by, spooked all to Sovngarde that a crazy woman came, _blew up_ Whiterun’s western watchtower, and _dropped it on a dragon_. Those noisy Greybeards on the other mountain were calling for the ‘ _Dovahkiin_ ’ weeks ago, right as Helgen was going up in flames. A courier brought news a week ago that _two_ people not only managed to both bring down a dragon, but also tear up pieces of Ulfric’s city with him right there _watching_. Half the city and all of Kynesgrove were talking about the two strangers who swooped in, took a dragon's _soul_ , then disappeared. And right as I get this news, _your_ voice is ringing down from the barrow. I thought High Elves were supposed to be the ostentatious ones, not Redguards.” She pointed at Violet, who was now banging her head against her walking stick.

“And this concerns you, how?” Kaidan glared at her.

Her voice hardened. “I need to see with my own eyes if you’re the real thing.”

“I do not have the time or inclination to prove to every drunkard, jarl, and _secretly_ _not an innkeeper_ if what is happening, is really happening. _I_ don’t know what’s happening, anymore. Everyone _else_ seems to know something and won’t tell me!”

“Are you kidding me, right now? It’s hard to tell with the antlers.” Delphine rolled her eyes.

Violet sighed. “I can’t move my arms enough to take them off.”

“Oh my gods.” She rubbed her forehead. ‘No… no… it’s too early to say we’re doomed. Breathe…’

Kaidan quickly turned and snapped them off, jerking Starfall’s head sideways and making her grunt in pain. “Okay, now who are you, _really_?”

She looked back and forth between Violet and Kaidan pointing at each of them. “Someone who is looking for someone who actually knows what’s going on with these damn dragons, the dead rising from their graves, the Divines finally choosing a champion after hundreds of years of silence, people long thought _wiped off the face of Nirn_ immediately finding their way back to said champion, and why no one seems to be up to doing anything about it, except for _you two_.”

“Well you won’t find any of that with us, we’re asking the same damn thing.” Violet scoffed.

“And you thought provoking the dead would answer those questions.”

The mage carefully sat on the bed and grimaced. “Not only did it just raise more questions, we were nearly killed in the process. Nords are bastards alive, and they’re even worse when they’re dead.”

“Don’t I know it…” She muttered. “Fine, then. I suppose you’re also in the area to try and go see the Greybeards?”

“Don’t think that’s any of your business, considering you’ve not told us a bloody thing.” Kaidan produced a handful of septims but didn’t hand them over, yet. “If it turns out that staying here will bring trouble down on us, I swear you’ll find out firsthand how those dragons died.”

The innkeeper took the money, grumbled under her breath, and slipped back out to the main room. Kaidan closed the door after her.

Violet exhaled, then pulled her book out and started making notes. “Think she’s a spy?”

“Oh, definitely. But for who, I don’t know. Ugh. Too many groups in Skyrim alone, and gods help us if she’s involved with the Empire.”

“Oh gods, not politics. Anything but that. You should have left me in that tomb to die.”

“Let’s just straighten out this mess and move on. We still have to get to Ivarstead.” Kaidan started pulling all of the junk they’d collected out of their bags and setting it all on the table and floor.

*

An ice enchanted sword and a much nicer but still badly enchanted circlet that Kaidan had picked up had indeed turned out to be near useless to them, so they went in the sell pile along with some books she’d taken but had nothing interesting in them, some potions that Kaidan thought Starfall could study even though they were thousands-of-years-old bottles of black sludge, some of the embalming tools she wanted to study but Kaidan told her no, and the sack of gold. There was a blacksmith nearby, so they melted down the gold into a few bars and sold them and the sword, using part to repair the damage to Kaidan’s armor. The Riverwood Trader took everything else including the golden claw, thanking them profusely for finding it. In exchange, they got enough septims that Kaidan’s mood improved immensely. They moved outside to sit on the porch and make their next moves.

“But he’s an Imperial, how’d he get it?” Violet put her half of the reward money in her pack.

Kaidan had pulled out her map and was trying to show her the path through the mountain pass. “Does it really matter at this point?”

“What if he knows where there’s another?”

“He didn’t even know what he had. It wasn’t a key or an artifact to him, it was just a gaudy decoration. And now that we’ve cleaned the place out, it’s useless.”

“Here’s to hoping they’re all luckily found nearby. Not that I want to ever do that again.” She rubbed her chest.

“Mm. We have to pass through Helgen, and then a mountain pass. I don’t know what happened to the town after the dragon, but Delphine said to go around, instead of through. Might be ashes, then.”

“Hopefully.” Violet said.

He raised his eyebrow. “What? Why?”

“Helgen looked to have a fort in it and the Thalmor were there executing people when the dragon attacked. If the town is gone, there’s no reason for them to be there. I’m in no condition to fight.”

“We stay outside the gates as a precaution, then. Any other business, here?”

Violet looked along the main street, noting only a few residents were out, and they weren’t even working. “There’s nothing else here but that “innkeeper”, and she’s not going to give up anything else. I just need to brew and try healing again.”

She had enough money and supplies now to make a few quality mixes, and on drinking them and trying her most powerful healing spell, they both heard the dull snaps of her ribs popping. The rest of the inn heard her swearing at a bunch of gods they’d never heard of. After she’d slept that off, they packed up and left for Ivarstead.

*

The road to Ivarstead was long and boring, which was just fine with them. It started out with a small detour, though, as Kaidan had something to show Starfall. He brought her up to a small hill overlooking the river, and on a small platform were three monuments.

“These are the Guardian Stones. They’re a series of monuments dedicated to each of the signs that we’re all born under. I know you’re not the religious type, but it’s usually a bit of good luck to stop at one.”

The warrior went with the obvious choice and went up to the stone engraved with a constellation and swirling carvings. He took a knee and bowed his head in a small prayer, then touched the stone. Violet watched as it reacted to his touch; the constellation’s stars lit up and a light appeared in the hole at the center. Whatever magic was in the stone, Kaidan didn’t seem to mind much as its light swirled around him and his prayer was sent up to the heavens in a thin pillar of light off the top of the stone.

“Choose one.” He returned to her, expecting her to choose the Mage Stone without question, but being surprised when she asked about the Thief Stone instead.

“What does this one mean?” Violet traced her fingers over the hooded figure.

“It means you’ve got a roguish charm about you. And lucky… ‘til you’re not. Though I guess I shouldn’t be surprised, the way you want to keep to the shadows, have a love for alchemy, and you have a slight knack for doing things in …dodgy ways.”

Violet nodded and followed Kaidan’s example; kneeling in front of the monument and made a short, silent prayer in front of the stone. She was surprised at the slight surge of energy as she connected to the stone similar to a small blessing of magic from a healer. Her little message went up somewhere into the sky, though she had no idea who would hear it, or if they’d care.

*

On Delphine's advice, they kept to the outside wall of Helgen. Even weeks later, it still stank of char. And it was too quiet. It took almost two days to get through the mountain pass after that, and when snowy, grey rocks turned into golden forests, Kaidan breathed a sigh of relief.

“Welcome to the Rift.” He said.

“Better than icy rocks, anyway.” Her mind was both tired and now going in different directions from the colors and lively forest noise of the early evening.

“Good weather, life and beauty, peace and quiet. What else can a man ask for?”

“A man usually asks for a woman. I am not a man, so I ask for my dark, silent hole in the wall to crawl into and hide from the horrible bright sun.”

He frowned. “That sounds more like what vampires ask for.”

“I’m not going to apologize for the blood incident. You already have proof I’m not undead.”

“I know, but the day sleeping, the sun aversion, the simultaneous affront to and culmination of the gods, the temper, the blood magic, the unceasing hunger for the life force of other creatures…” Kaidan was counting on his fingers.

“…Enslaving you as my thrall…”

Kaidan reddened. “Hey, you’re the only one who seems to actually want to get to the heart of all this. Don’t phrase it like that.”

“Sure. And you can leave any time you want.” Her wide, manic grin was enough to stop Kaidan in his tracks.

“Don’t… do that.”

“Do what?” Violet asked sweetly.

“When you make that face.” He cringed and walked away from her.

“I seem to find more and more things that bother you deep down. Maybe you should just list them all right now, so I don’t keep accidentally twisting all your little knives.” Her little knuckles twisted deep along his arm.

“I’m fine.” He said, rubbing where she’d touched him.

She sighed. “I… warned you early on that I’m strange.”

“I know.”

A small growl escaped, and she went back to wandering around the general direction Kaidan was going. A short while later, they found a few little cabins in the woods. One looked to be abandoned and exposed to the wilds, but had lots of alchemy stores. Violet hesitated about taking anything, but Kaidan pointed out that everything had a layer of dust and the garden out back was overgrown. Plus, there was a free book. She couldn’t argue with that. The other cabin had Kaidan pacing around it as if he wanted in, but he quickly gave up and kept going.

“What was that about?” She didn’t think there was anything interesting about it.

“It’s not abandoned, but it’s also not occupied. No one lives there, but it’s well taken care of.”

“Someone probably comes by every once in a while and takes care of it for the owner. There’s a few places like that in Elinhir. Rich people own them.”

“Waste of a good home.” Kaidan looked back at it.

“Maybe. You act as if you want it or something.”

“Supposing once all this is over and I don’t go back to wandering.” He shrugged.

“You’ve been here before?”

“When I first came back here from Cyrodiil. There's something about this place. It’s beautiful.” He said wistfully.

She smiled, seeing him like this. “Hmm.”


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If you read all ten tablets at the Throat of the World, you get a buff that makes animals peaceful.

They arrived at Ivarstead just as the sun was going down, turning everything else gold on top of the forest. The picturesque little village at the bottom of the mountain was awfully quiet for a rest stop for religious pilgrims. A few people they found admitted there hadn’t been any for some time, and they were the first for several weeks. More to blame on the war. Violet and Kaidan resolved to stay overnight and start upward in the morning. At least the inn had a few of the villagers in for the evening meal. Peasants and farmers sat around the hearth chatting about nothing the two cared about, which was fine with Violet. Small town gossip (or any, really) never interested her, and found it to be mostly petty boredom.

Sleep was hard to come by and filled with terrible dreams of burning darkness and deafening whispers. She never bothered with learning metaphysical truths and divination since half of the time, mind-altering drugs that made her condition worse were involved. She woke several times during the night, looked around to remember where she was, groaned, then passed out again. Kaidan had to come wake her up to both of their annoyance.

As they went to the other end of the village, she looked to the barrow on the hill. That _fucking whispering_ emanated from it, but the thing that made her soul curdle, was that she spotted something glowing peeking from around the edge of the entrance.

“…Kaidan. Do draugr ever come out of the barrows?” She dug her nails into his sleeve.

“They’ll chase you outside if they see you down there, otherwise no. They stay underground. Why?” He tried to see what she was looking at but couldn’t find anything.

“Never mind. Fuck it. I can hear them already. Up the mountain and away from the death pit.” She did a quick heel turn and went towards the bridge.

“So, all it took for you to stop complaining about mountains was to make you more afraid of barrows. Now to figure out how to get you to go back into ‘the death pit’ next time.” He chuckled.

She leered at him. “I don’t know why you’re making fun of me like you didn’t wind up ass-over-head down there, too.”

Kaidan cleared his throat and went ahead.

*

Just over the bridge at the base of the mountain, two men argued over a large burlap sack. The Nord pointed up the mountain path. “I had to come back down! It’s just not safe anymore.”

“But then what are the Greybeards going to do? You’re already a week behind on the delivery.” The Wood Elven man said, looking towards the swirling grey clouds at the peak.

“Well with how much lives in the mountains here, I’m sure they can easily catch a couple of goats to tide them over.” Kaidan said as he walked past.

“Wait, you’re going up the 7,000 steps? Could you please take this with you? At least you look ready for a trek.” Klimmek asked Kaidan, holding the bag out to him.

The warrior’s head rolled around on his shoulders. ‘Should have kept my mouth shut.’

Violet came up and dragged the bag a few feet to test its weight. “I’ll take it.”

“Talos bless you. But what are a Redguard and an Outlander going up to see the Greybeards for?” Now the two villagers were ogling them.

“No clue,” she said. “They called me. Never even heard of these guys before. You take stuff up to them? Who are they? What are they like? What do they do up there?”

“The Greybeards called—you’re the Dovahkiin?! Huh!” Klimmek rubbed his bald head.

The Wood Elf named Gwilin pointed a thumb to the swirling clouds. “Nobody really knows what they’re like. They never let anyone in, and they don’t come down. Everyone who goes up there to see them just comes back disappointed.”

“I’ve never met them, either. There’s a huge chest of offerings pilgrims leave for them; I leave the goods in there. Was hoping I’d get to meet them face to face one day, maybe get a thanks…”

Violet turned to Kaidan. “I don’t like this. No one’s ever seen them, no can tell me anything about them, them calling the Dovahkiin is probably the most anyone’s heard from them ever, and yet, everyone’s in reverence?”

“You don’t like anything.” Kaidan said. “But yeah, it’s jarring. Problem is, everything seems to be suddenly happening all at once. You, me, dragons, the Greybeards, and possibly other things we’re not aware of yet because most of our time's been spent without reliable communication.”

“I’m not good at everything happening at once.”

“Very few people are. They think they are and then bugger it all up.” Kaidan grumbled.

“Well this thing with a bunch of mountain shut-ins is what’s happening now, so let’s stick with that.”

Klimmek stopped her before she walked away. “It wouldn’t be fair of me to send you up there with no warning. The wildlife that’s moved in up there has gotten meaner in recent months. Used to just be a stray wolf or two. A few days ago, a troll chased me all the way back down here. So be careful.”

Kaidan groaned. “Stupid trolls.”

“Are they as bad as draugr?”

“No. But they regenerate, so you have to keep hacking at them until they’re in lots of pieces, or their head's off. It was the furry, angry thing that chased us across that cave bridge in Bleak Falls.”

“Ah. The thing that kept coming through lightning. I’ll figure something out.” Violet threw the sack over her shoulder and hesitated. “Are there really 7,000 steps?”

Klimmek shrugged. “I have no idea. I never make it past 400 before I get bored of counting. Anyone who’s tried gives us a different number. Plus, the steps get buried in snow or broken over the centuries.”

“Huh. Well now I have to. Onnnne, twoooo—”

Kaidan put his hand on her head, twisted her around, and his accent went heavy. “ **I can put up with strange and whiny, but we’re not doing that. Okay?** ”

She grinned at getting under his skin again, then realized what he had actually said. “...Do I really whine that much?”

“It’s usually salted with swearing, but yes.”

*

At the foot of the mountain, Violet came up to a stone memorial with a small plaque in it. Dried flowers, money, and little mementos were littered around it, and it took a lot of her willpower not to collect it all up. Not that she needed a blunt dagger or someone’s old, cracked helmet. Instead, she read the inscription and copied it into her book.

_“Before the birth of men, the Dragons ruled all Mundus._

_Their word was the Voice, and they spoke only for True Needs._

_For the Voice could blot out the sky and flood the land.”_

“The origin of your magic.” Kaidan said. “And it says all of Mundus, so whatever’s going on happened in Hammerfell too.”

 “All of the dragon mounds must be under thousands of tons of sand, then. I wonder how many tablets there are.”

“Dunno. But I think what you’re supposed to do is stop at each one and think about the story, thanking the ancient heroes for saving everyone.”

“And there’s that ‘true need’ thing again. What does that mean? What will happen if I don’t?” Violet put her book back in her pack as they continued on.

Kaidan shrugged. “Save for the spider, seems like all the instances you’ve used it that I’ve seen have been warranted. Nothing’s happened yet. You did say that shouting drains you, though. Are you alright? It’s been a couple of weeks since Windhelm.”

“I’m alright, I suppose. My entire body being sore is enough of a distraction from everything. Something wanted me to murder Farengar in front of the jarl and destroy that little bandit watchtower on the way to the barrow, though.” She didn’t mention that she was quietly counting the steps in her head. ‘Wait, are the three steps next to each other one step or three?’

“That condescending court mage in Whiterun? That probably wasn’t the curse’s fault.”

“He grated you, too?”

“Went in to turn in a bounty to Avenicci some months back. He suddenly comes in, interrupts the negotiation, and calls me a big brute while I’m standing there.”

“And those _sideburns_.” She seethed.

Kaidan chuckled. “They are horrible, aren’t they?”

“Anyway, Balgruuf told me not to kill him and sent me on my way. Destroying an entire watchtower just to teach a couple of bandits a lesson seemed like overkill.”

“And yet turning them into statues _wasn’t_ overkill. I have a feeling I’m going to have to chaperone when you go back, to keep you from burning down Dragonsreach over the entire barrow incident.”

“If I go back. Honestly, they’ve all been useless ingrates from the moment I walked into the city the first time. Maybe I could have killed the dragon without collateral damage, but it’s too late to find out now. Not like that watchtower was doing too good of a job standing on its own in the first place. Like pushing over a drunkard instead of a solid stone building.” She grumbled.

*

Kaidan wanted to keep her somewhat focused, so he kept her talking. Like the rocky mountain pass, there wasn’t anything for her to get distracted by, save for the occasional snowberry bush stubbornly hanging on in the hard, frozen soil. The morning was freezing, and Violet kept picking at them while they walked to ease the magicka drain of keeping her body temperature up.

“You should probably be trying to acclimate to the weather instead of constantly casting spells and eating those things.” He said over his shoulder.

She shook her head no and kept eating. “I’m from the desert. That would literally take years, and then I would have to do it again when I go back home. Besides, these aren’t half bad; a little tart, but crunchy inside.”

“Fine. I know your job was an alchemist in Hammerfell, but do you also have training as a healer? You seem to know enough about how the body works, you’re rough but effective, and you get… morbidly curious.” Though he meant more that the way she tortured those draugr to study them was awfully close to the necromancy she was so disgusted by…

“I’m not a master, but I’m close enough, if that’s what you’re asking. I would be able to work in a temple if I actually believed in the gods or be an actual ‘respectable’ healer in an Imperial city. But my quiet life in a Dragonstar alley helping people like me was enough.”

“So, how do you know about fighting, then? Not that you’re all that great in close combat, but why would a healer need destruction and summoning spells?” ‘Or sneaking, lockpicking, and poisoning…’

She winced. “Wow. Just come out and say that I’m terrible. And like I told you before, it’s to defend myself. I was given _some_ training as a child, and some at Elinhir, but my masters stopped when they figured out something was wrong. I’m not as _imposing_ as you. Though after I settled into my practice in Dragonstar and proved myself to the community, people stopped trying me. The summoning was a stupid foray into trying to find a daedra to sate the Hunger. It didn’t go well, but I learned a lot.”

“If you insist,” he grinned. “The dragon was impressive, but everything after that’s been a mess. You panic too easily, any close range fighting you did in the barrow was chaotic, you’re always forgetting simple things like keeping your armor up, you keep losing your concentration, though I suppose that can’t be helped, and you don’t have enough experience with Skyrim's dangers. You should be wearing actual armor if you’re just going to forget your spells all the time. Even a set of leathers would be better. We should find you some after this.”

“I… damn. I didn’t mean for you to actually do that. And no, I do not want to wear physical armor. I would just be slower than I already am as I’d have to learn to move in it. I’ll just try to keep the spell on all the time, despite the fact that instead of being a spriggan, I’d be an iron construct.” She changed her skin from flesh to iron and stared at him with blank, dull grey eyes.

It _was_ sort of unsettling… “What about the other one? The black one you changed into to fight the dragon?”

“Ebony? It’s for emergencies because I have to draw on reserves that I don’t quite have, with potions to supplement the difference. Repeated applications require that many more potions. It numbs me and if I were to receive too many injuries, I wouldn’t notice in time to heal them before the spell drops off and I return to flesh and bleed to death. I’ve been trying to find something better, but not much luck.”

“Huh. Can we at least get you a shield, then?”

“Have one. Need both hands free and it drains magicka worse than the hole in your pocket.” The air in front of her distorted and wavered when she held her hand out in front of herself, then it solidified into the silver-light tower shield.

“Don’t those kinds of shields only stop magic?”

“Doesn’t stop arrows. Can stop most everything else, up to a point. You couldn’t smash through it, but it would still transfer the force and knock me down. Look, as long as I can end a fight quickly and decisively, there shouldn’t be a problem.”

“Interesting. And here’s another tablet.” He read it this time.

_“Men were born and spread over the face of Mundus_

_The Dragons presided over the crawling masses_

_Men were weak then, and had no Voice.”_

“But if the dragons are a creation of Akatosh, then why would he make something that would just turn around and start bullying and slaughtering us? Or rather, why do people still worship this asshole?” Violet scoffed.

“Since dragons seem to be intelligent, it’s likely their free will. Akatosh probably didn’t mean to, but the dragons saw easy prey.” Kaidan said and kept walking.

“And now they’re back and have learned nothing from being driven to extinction. Meanwhile, it’s evidently been long enough that humans have grown soft and they don’t remember anything; let alone how to fight them. So now we’re back to this tablet.”

“Save for you. And somehow _I’m_ supposed to suddenly live up to a thousands-years-old legacy of people I’ve never known.” That same bitterness was starting to creep up on him as well.

“Isn’t destiny amazing?!” Violet grit her teeth. “But really, live up to who? Me? I don’t know much of anything about the Akaviri either; I don’t even know what your part in all this is, exactly. No one else knows except maybe the Thalmor and who knows what they’re up to. Don’t go thinking you have to impress me. I’m sure not trying to impress these ungrateful savages. Don’t even have actual beds with mattresses and drinks that aren’t alcoholic. Since this evidently happened all over Tamriel, maybe I can just solve whatever the dragons are doing from Hammerfell instead.”

“Actually, Ulfric was quite thankful, despite the fact that they’ll have to reinforce the holes in the southwest wall and bridge, and pull that skeleton out of the river to rebury it.”

“Not thankful enough he could have paid us a little more. Unless the wall and bridge came out of the reward money. I wouldn’t be surprised. Also, I hear a lot of snuffling, grunting, and stomping up ahead. Probably the troll that chased that man back down the mountain. So other than trying to remove its head, how are we supposed to kill or otherwise get rid of it?” She cast detect life, and further up the trail was a large, slow moving flame.

Kaidan looked over the edge of the trail. They had barely gotten out of view of Ivarstead, and the peak with the monastery still seemed so far away. He still had hope that they might be able to reach it by nightfall, or maybe find a cave they could clear out. But if there were a whole host of trolls moving in along the trail, their progress might be pushed back too much. “Trolls hate fire. Unfortunately.”

“What about poison?”

“I don’t usually use poison, but I think with their fast healing, they just burn through it without taking too much damage.”

“Maybe I can compromise, then.”

She summoned her Daedric bow and a quiver full of wicked looking arrows. Even though for her it was second nature to trust and lean into magic, Kaidan wondered for a moment if something that was barely even able to manifest in Nirn would be all that effective. She nocked one, and pulling back, the forked arrowhead changed from glowing purple to flaming white. “I’ll blind it. Should be easier to figure out what to do after that.”

“How far up the trail is it?” He asked, unsheathing his sword.

“Around this bend. Maybe 50 feet. I obviously don’t know what it looks like on the other side, so I can’t see if it would be better to fight there or draw it here. Stay here for a minute.” She withdrew the arrow and stayed on the stone path to minimize the sound of her boots crunching in the snow. Keeping low, she made it around the corner, and the path sloped upward along a narrow ledge overlooking a steep hill dotted with trees. Even with her bow, there was no way she was going anywhere near that drop…

Kaidan watched her sneak up the trail and around the bend. Why in the world would a mage have and need the skill of hiding? A few minutes later, he heard a snow-shaking roar and Starfall bolted around the corner back in his direction.

“My plan didn’t work.” She said, running behind him and nocking another arrow.

“What plan?! What did you do?!” Kaidan raised his sword. He frowned as a blind troll stumbled around the corner, flailing and thrashing.

The frost troll’s three eyes were all burned out with an arrow between them. ‘Nice shot,’ Kaidan thought, at least until he realized that the arrow had also passed clean through its skull and should have killed it.

“I was just going to blow its brains out with the fire arrow, but that just made it mad! How is it still moving?!” She fired another arrow into its chest. “If the fire didn’t kill it, piercing its brain should have done it.”

“Told you, regeneration.” He went around behind it and put his sword through the troll’s heart, dropping it to one knee, but still not stopping it. The troll swung around and fell on its back, clipping Kaidan’s arm and shoving him backward against a boulder.

“That’s ridiculous! The cauterization put its eyes out! Burning up the center of its brain should have been the end of it! Get out of there and I’ll just blow it up.”

Kaidan took several steps back and moved around the corner. If her ice traps we’re any indication, he felt like he should probably go hide somewhere further up the mountain.

While the troll was still struggling from the chest wound, Starfall wove glowing red threads around it, draping them lightly over it like a net. At first, they itched and burned, causing it to pull and rip them. When the gossamer threads snapped, the trap exploded in a ball of flames, blowing the creature apart and charring the remains. Kaidan preferred the ice trap's brutality; at least the victim stayed in one piece. Mostly. And there was no char smell.

“So… why didn’t you do that before?” He asked, coming back and stepping around the black crater.

“My original plan was to blind it, and while it was dying from a shot to the head, shove it off the edge. But I couldn’t find anything big enough to push it, and shouting up here seems like a really bad idea. For this, you weakened it enough it wouldn’t escape or be thrown free of the center. I didn’t want to be here all morning. I know I said I wouldn’t do fire, and I am more proficient in ice magic, but if it doesn’t even respond to any of _that_ …” Violet threw her hands up, annoyed that she couldn’t even salvage any of its fat for alchemy.

“Hnn. Just give me plenty of warning, then.” Kaidan sighed.

They kept going, taking turns reading the tablets, discussing and sometimes arguing their meanings, getting interrupted by more trolls (who were also incredibly stubborn and blown up), and getting temporarily turned around in a powerful blizzard that was too strong for even Violet’s magic. Once the sun went down, they still didn’t want to stop, so they travelled by her magelight and used her Detect Life spell so they weren’t taken by surprise. They knew they were close when she saw a small cluster of bright candle lights a short distance away.

“I have… no idea what… to say… to these people….” Violet wheezed. The thin mountain air, non-stop hiking for hours, and trolls had left her doubled over and leaning against walls where she could. The air was so cold and thin, her heat shielding had actually become visible in the dark as a dim orange sheen over her entire body.

“Let us in and where’s the hearth.” Kaidan’s hood was up, his arm covered his face, and his cloak was drawn over his armor as if it would help against the biting wind. He didn’t mind regular cold too much; he was raised in Skyrim, but he’d never been this high up and the storm was getting ice into every little gap between the metal plates and leather.

“We’re almost there. Damn, I’m going… to need to heal my legs and feet. I can still feel them… and I really wish I couldn’t. The rocks up here must be made of glass. …Fuck mountains. Once we’re done here… we’re _never_ coming back. You hear me?”

A strong gust into his hood and down his collar made him agree.

High Hrothgar was a small monastery partially carved out of the mountain itself, impervious to the blowing ice and tons of snow gathering on all sides of it. At the foot of the stairs was a chest, right where the man in Ivarstead said it would be. Violet was glad to be rid of the sack, though it wasn’t particularly heavy (especially after helping herself to a couple of apples to keep her energy up). Off to the side was the final little shrine. It was Kaidan’s turn to read this last one with chattering teeth, not that Starfall had any breath left to read even if it were her turn.

 _“The Voice is worship_  
  
_Follow the Inner path_  
  
_Speak only in True Need._ ”

“I think the lesson here is not to use dragon magic… unless it’s an emergency. …Fine with me.” She looked back up towards the steps and almost cried. “After all that, there’s stairs?!”

“Just a few more feet. Don’t start whinging on me.” Kaidan took her wrist and pulled her up the steps. As they got to the front door, they realized that the villagers below had said that everyone who had come up here had left disappointed. There wasn’t even a handle on the door. She hissed and started pounding on the heavy, embossed iron. “They had better not be asleep…”

A few hard knocks and the door opened all on its own. The two were suspicious up until a waft of warmth and incense flowed between them and was lost to the frozen night. They were inside and the door shut before any common sense could take hold. Their bags were thrown into the corner and they fell onto a bench along the entryway. The inside was dimly lit and warmed by dozens of candles, dying torches, and braziers of glowing embers, all illuminating carvings, statues, and reliefs of dragons. Violet was set on edge, but also too exhausted to do anything about it.

“Whatever they want… it’s going to have… to wait until morning.” Violet slumped back against the wall, still struggling for air. She realized that going inside didn’t mean there would suddenly be more air and cursed under her breath.

“If they’re reasonable.”

“They’d fucking better be.” She muttered.

“Please don’t get us thrown out with your profanity and heresy.” Kaidan groaned.

‘Oh, if they only knew…’ Violet refused to look at him. “I promise nothing.”

“Are we going to get a repeat of Windhelm?”

“…I promise nothing.”

Kaidan covered his face with his hands. “Starfall…”

“Healing and sleep… Why hasn’t anyone come to meet us? They… just left the door open for us?”

“Hello?!” Kaidan shouted.

“You get on me for things, but you get to be an idiot when you’re tired.”

“They’re _peaceful_ monks and they _invited_ you here.”

A moment later, an old Nord man in drab robes came from around a corner. “The journey here must have been truly daunting for it to have taken over a month to get here. Greetings, Dragonborn. I am Arngeir.”

“Greetings…?” Violet struggled into sitting upright. “Yes, it was. A month? …Since what, you calling me? If you did, I never heard it. And… how did you know I was coming?”

“You could not hear our voices? It _was_ you at Helgen, yes? It certainly sounded like you, as well as at Bleak Falls below us. …And other pilgrims are very rarely accompanied by explosions.” He cleared his throat.

‘How did everyone seem to hear me in that cave? I don’t even remember what happened…’ “Helgen was a disaster. I never heard you… because I was kidnapped by elves and left to rot… in an underwater prison miles from here. Dragon magic… is loud, but not that loud. And not to be… rude, but even getting up here was an ordeal. We need rest and healing.” She yawned and was immensely disappointed when it didn’t help at all.

He frowned, but nodded. “Of course. The others are sleeping as well. You shall meet them in the morning. Follow me, then.”

The old monk led them down a hallway and then a set of stairs going down to an unused part of the monastery. Dust was everywhere, it was cold, and the rooms were dark. The men in the village weren’t kidding about them not taking visitors. At the end of the hall were two rooms opposite of each other, and Violet immediately set to burning up the excess dust and stoking the fireplaces. The monk watched them curiously for a moment before bidding them good night. Once she was sure he was gone, she went and took a peek into Kaidan’s room.

“Are you hurting or just tired? If you just need sleep, I don’t have to use a potion. Healing works best if it’s accompanied with sleep.”

He sat in front of the fireplace and rubbed his face. “Just need to thaw out and eat.”

She went over and leaned in close, squinting in examination. His entire face was red, and he probably didn’t even notice, the idiot. ‘Blah blah Nord this and that. Just need to thaw. You’re not a Nord, as much as you want to believe it, and thank fuck for that. Those weirdos would probably eat snow too if they could figure out how to make alcohol out of it.’

It was making him uncomfortable and he wondered if she was being strange on purpose again. “I’m fine. Really.”

“Can you feel this?” She asked, poking all over his face.

“Feel what—” Kaidan suddenly did feel his face flush and heat pool across his lips, cheeks, and nose. He couldn’t quite tell if she was using her healing magic on him or if it was her playing with his face like he was made of clay.

“I’ll see if I can make some protective potions out of the snowberries. You should try acclimating to the harsh weather here.” She rolled her eyes and left, casting the same light on herself. It wove through her legs and feet as she went back to her room.

He looked after her and moved to go after her, but she’d already closed her door. He thought for a moment, then shook his head. ‘Where’s my ale…’

*

She fell onto her bed, instantly regretting it as she forgot to stir and burn the dust there. After choking on it for several minutes, she groaned. She should have been more insistent on going to Winterhold. No, she should have put her foot down. Now she was on the opposite side of the country and hoping these people that _no one_ had ever met before could solve her problems. When you were called by these folks, _you went_. This is what she got for listening to a bunch of superstitious yokels. Her mind was screaming along like a runaway horse-cart. ‘No no no, shut up. Too tired for this. So tired…’

Violet dug around in her pack, pulled a tiny, silver vial out, drank it, and clutched her pillow tightly as everything slowed to a stop.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Why is it the ancient sages tasked with guiding the hero can never get right to the point?

Kaidan didn’t bother waking Starfall up early this time. He stoked the fire that had gone down during the night and tried to wipe the build-up of dust from the window. It was faded stained glass that probably didn’t offer much of a view beyond snow and ice, anyway. He wondered if he could sneak out to go hunting, or if the storm was still raging outside. He did see goats and rabbits on the way up, but they all disappeared once the snow got too heavy. It was so deathly silent. He couldn’t even hear Starfall across the hall, though she tended to move like she was afraid of noise, anyway.

‘I really hope we get some answers today. If we’ve come all the way up here and they just aggravate and confuse her some more, she’s going to be insufferable.’ He sighed.

*

Violet woke up sometime around late-morning, judging by the light coming through the window. Sleep helped a little, but she still felt rather light-headed and sluggish. She pointed over at the fireplace, and the fire jumped back to life before she rolled over in bed. There still weren’t any words coming to her over this whole situation. People said the Greybeards worshipped and studied the Voice, but the halls were adorned with dragons and she’d been killing the things left and right. But then how were they and Ulfric able to use dragon magic? Didn’t they have that gnawing hunger slowly driving them insane? But then Ulfric said that mortals could use the Voice as well. …Was he kidding about… oh gods. She realized her mind was racing and she was having trouble stopping it, which meant she had to go find something to do. Well, this was where she was supposed to be, and there weren’t any answers in her room. She tested her back, legs, and feet, and they were back to normal. Everything else was down to dull soreness. Good enough.

“Do I bring my notes? They’re going to ask me questions, I know it. I’m not going to remember my own questions, there’s too many.” Violet dumped her pack upside-down onto the floor, picking through her books, scrolls, and scraps. The amulet of Talos the priest had given her back in Windhelm slid out of one of her books. She held it up and put it on. Curiously, it helped just a little. “Damn it, what if they test me? I can’t waste my energy. Shut up, you don’t even know what they want, yet.”

Before she knew it, she had fallen into a spiral and was stuck to the floor, staring through the pile of papers until her eye focus was somewhere completely under the mountain. “Why did I let Kaidan talk me into visiting these people, they’re going to see I’m a heretic and a lunatic and refuse to help me like everyone else…”

*

Kaidan finally heard her knock on his door somewhere around midday. ‘Took her long enough, she’d oversleep through the end of the world itself.’

He opened the door and she was standing there with her arms full of scrolls and her logbook. She still looked tired and now jittery and distracted.

“Just keep me from saying something stupid and getting us thrown out. Please. I have a feeling.” She mumbled and rubbed her face.

“Are you at least all healed up?”

“Mm-hmm.”

“I wonder if they’ve been waiting for us.” He followed Starfall down the hall, going slowly so he didn’t overtake her. “Not enough to actually come get you, though.”

“Well, sorry for being tired, old, and addled.” She was barely looking where she was going, her face was in a book, and whenever she passed close to a torch or candleholder, she flicked her fingers at it for more reading light.

“You’re not old. Here, give me some of those before you fall over yourself.” He took some of her papers; they seemed to have multiplied while he wasn’t looking. “You didn’t sit up all night and write all of these, did you?”

“No. They’re from the lake, Windhelm, Riverwood, and Ivarstead. I slept enough, I just don’t like it up here, and everyone’s built these people up as if they’re the most important people in Skyrim or something. Whatever they want out of me, they’re going to be disappointed. And then I’m going to be disappointed. And we’ll have wasted several weeks.” She sighed, counting on her fingers.

“They won’t. You’re overthinking. You do that a lot and you need to stop.”

“Can’t stop.”

“Maybe your ‘Hunger’ is returning?”

“…Don’t know. Probably. Focus is difficult. Been a few weeks.”

They found themselves back in the front room of the monastery, this time much brighter as the rows of side windows let in a surprising amount of extra light. A man was already there praying in front of a relief, and when he saw them approach, silently got up and left the room. Was it Arngeir or someone else? His hood was up. Enough time later to make her feel even more awkward, and he returned with three other monks in tow. A different one stepped forward and _that_ was Arngeir.

“So... a Dragonborn appears, at this moment in the turning of the age. Welcome. I am Master Arngeir. I speak for the Greybeards. These are Borri, Wulfgar, and Einarth.” They all bowed, and not knowing what else to do, Violet bowed in return. Kaidan simply stayed in the background since they obviously weren’t concerned with him, and that was perfectly fine.

“What age, though? My book says the same thing.” Violet nodded down at the stack in her arms.

“First, a formality. Shout for us, Dragonborn. Then we may have time for questions."

‘Shit. I knew it. …Wait a minute.’ “In an enclosed space? And right in front of you? That would injure everyone here. And even if I could…”

He reassured her. “It is alright. We are masters of the Th'uum. You cannot harm us. …Your companion may want to stand behind you, though. If you are truly concerned, then the one word you used a short while ago will suffice. Let us taste of your Voice.”

‘Don’t put it like that, it’s weird.’ Violet sighed and rubbed her face, nodding at Kaidan to hold the rest of her work. She quickly grabbed some wax from a nearby candle and pressed it into her ears, feeling safe enough that she wouldn’t have to keep an ear out for danger any time soon. Once he was behind her, she dug in her heels, took a deep breath, and focused on the large, heavy vase beside Arngeir.

“ ** _FUS!_** ”

The vase slammed against the wall and shattered, but the small group of monks barely stumbled back a step. They looked to each other and nodded their approval, at least until they noticed Violet was doubled over, heaving for breath, with blood seeping between her fingers. Kaidan frowned and kneeled beside her. She turned away from them and swallowed a golden flame from her palm.

“What has happened to her, Outlander?” Arngeir asked.

He looked to her, not wanting to give away too much information if she thought it would make things worse. She pointed to one of the scrolls and he skimmed it. “She says that she hasn’t been able to properly keep up with the curse of needing dragon souls or releasing that magic properly. She had absorbed a dragon at Windhelm, but that was about three weeks ago. She’s also been trying to figure out what ‘true need’ is and not wasting the magic, but there have been… incidents.”

“It is true that having the blood and soul of a dovah can be called a blessing or a curse, but unfortunately we do not have the insight of knowing just how it will affect a mortal. There hasn’t been a _Dovahkiin_ in hundreds of years.”

“It’s a shitty blessing, I can tell you that much,” Violet croaked. She cursed herself for not bringing water and now her voice was already starting to go. Of course they were going to make her shout. Not wanting to wipe her hand on her robe, bright flames ran all over her hand and fingers, burning the blood to black dust.

The Greybeards all looked to each other.

Once she composed herself, she breathed deeply and tried to organize her thoughts. “I did your test, now please, tell me what is happening. Everyone I’ve spoken to around Skyrim about the Dragonborn says the Greybeards know everything about dragon magic, but haven’t been able to tell me anything else. I was chased out of Hammerfell by a dragon even though this all seems to be Nord business, and I’m just _lost_. So let’s start with something easy… Who are you? What is this place?”

“We are the Greybeards, followers of the Way of the Voice. You stand in High Hrothgar, on the slopes of Kynareth's sacred mountain. It was built as a sanctuary and place to reflect on the gifts given to us by both divine and dragon. Here we commune with the Voice of the Sky, and strive to achieve balance between our inner and outer selves.”

‘Okay, but why would anyone subject themselves to this?’ She took a book back from Kaidan and started writing quickly. “Is there somewhere I can write comfortably?”

“Actually, Dragonborn, we would like to know the extent of your powers and possibly bestow gifts. It is a momentous occasion, you see…”

“You also see me bleeding from the mouth and struggling to breathe? The more I use the Voice, the worse the Hunger gets, and I’ve never forced myself to use it in rapid succession before. I just need to sit a minute and think.”

Arngeir looked confused. “Hunger…?”

Kaidan immediately felt the entire room drop in temperature until he was sure it was likely warmer outside. ‘Oh no…’

She went slowly, enunciating every word. “The maddening, agonizing, relentless drive to find, _kill_ , and _eat_ dragon souls. The urge to destroy everything after I’ve eaten one. Or else I lose what little sanity and self I have left. …How have you been dealing with it if… you… don’t leave…?” Her voice died off.

He shook his head. “We do not know what you speak of. We have studied the Way of the Voice for many, many years. Training with the Th'uum only seems punishing in the beginning, as a novice. But there is no… ‘hunger’ as you call it.”

Starfall was very still and quiet. Mortals are allowed to use dragon magic and not suffer any sort of penalty. Meanwhile, every time, she tread entirely too close to death when she was already looking over the edge.

“I don’t understand. What does any of this mean?” Instead of lashing out, she covered her face with her hands. “No, no, no, no…”

“If you would, Dragonborn—”

“Stop calling me that, I have a name. I’m Violet Starfall. He’s Kaidan, not ‘Outlander’.” She’d stopped paying attention to herself and was pacing around in circles, her voice rising.

Kaidan reached out for her shoulder until he remembered that it wasn’t a good idea to touch her while she was agitated. “Starfall, stop.”

She did, only because her thoughts had turned in on themselves and found another path. Her body turned along with her thought, flipping towards the beginning of her journal. “Okay, fine. Let’s try this. Arngeir, what do, ‘ _MAL. SAHLO. JOOR. ALDUIN YAH VAH HI,_ ’ and ‘ _ROK FEN WERID DOVAH FAH HIN DINOK_ ’ mean?”

One of the old men gasped, and her already spiraling anxiety shot straight up.

‘Here comes the swearing and shouting…’ He thought. “Starfall, you’re not making any sense now.”

“I’m being forced to do this, and this godsawful curse isn’t getting any easier so I’m going to skip to the easiest conclusion and stop playing around with all of the stupid, vague prophecies and all the other dumb peripheral annoyances like the war and the Thalmor. It’s about the dragons. Dragonborn, Dragonguard, dragon runes taking me out of my own head, and a bunch of scaly fuckers all burning down Skyrim and Hammerfell to find me. The one at Windhelm actually said that to me, right before it tried to bite me in half. What did it say?”

Arngeir looked away. “We do not believe you’re ready in your current state—”

“Careful…” It wasn’t clear who Kaidan was talking to.

She pulled her hood down tighter and breathed slow and steady. She could tell she couldn’t pull the same trick with these monks as that piddling court wizard. These old goats would throw her off the mountain. “I’m not a _child_. I’m not _stupid_. I’m not _weak_. I sometimes get frustrated and rush through things, but I can still maintain some control. I don’t know how long that’s going to _last_. People are _dying_. _I_ might be dying. I’ve _almost_ died several times already, including right under your godsdamned noses a few days ago. And good luck finding another fucking Dragonborn on such short notice. So, do you want to sit on this and wait for all this to get worse, or can I do this now before the Oblivion gates open again?”

Kaidan rubbed his forehead. Now he was starting to regret talking her all the way up here.

The Greybeards gathered together amongst themselves for a moment, though even Violet couldn’t hear anything from them. The others probably had some sort of vow of silence or some nonsense. Arngeir turned back and nodded. “I think we shall have to convene to decide your best course of action. As I was saying before, one of our duties is actually to assist and guide you in your destiny.”

“And what is that? Please, by your gods, at least tell me that.”

He hesitated. “We cannot. We do not know it yet.”

‘I am going to turn this mountain upside-down and drop it on all our heads, I swear to your misbegotten gods…’ “So at least tell me what that dragon said. Or tell me where I can learn Draconic.”

Arngeir’s voice became grim. “I can give you the means to learn the dragon tongue. But know this, Dragonborn. The words you have just imparted on us are more dangerous than you can possibly know.”

She covered her face with her hands and screeched, thick frost crawling outward from her and up the walls and pillars. Kaidan simply stepped out of the way. She wasn’t wrong at how frustrating this was turning out to be, but her growing lack of control was getting just as bad.

Master Wulfgar shook his head and stepped forward. He approached her, opened his arms, and waves of golden light flowed between them. She gasped as the rest of her pain vanished and the growing pit in her chest shrank until it was only a small puddle. Her head wasn’t completely clear, but it was enough of a relief. Being stuck up here unable to do anything but watch it take over hadn’t even occurred to her until Kaidan had reminded her in the hallway.

“A dragon’s soul is what sates your pain, yes?” Arngeir asked.

She nodded and patted her chest and head. “You can give souls? How?”

Wulfgar merely shook his head no. ‘Not yet.’

“Are any of you going to answer any of my questions? Or am I going to have to join and become a hermit for fifty years before the secrets stop?”

“You say that like you’re ready to leave already.” Kaidan said.

“Well if nothing’s going to happen except more mysteries that I don’t need…” She sighed. “At least it’s quiet. And thank you, Wulfgar.”

He nodded, then motioned for Violet and Kaidan to follow him. The other Greybeards went out of the rear doors into the bright, snowy day.

*

“At least the obtuse books were filled with other information to put it all together.” She grumbled.

Now Kaidan was reading her notes. “Were you really expecting them to just feed you all the information in two minutes like they gave you that soul?”

“Yes! That’s why I finally gave up and came up here!”

“And who told you that they would?”

She opened her mouth. “I…” Ulfric only said they were calling her. Everyone else said that they knew about The Way of the Voice, which seems to be only the reverence of her dragon magic.

She made an ugly noise that Kaidan couldn’t help but snort at. Wulfgar decided to not draw attention to himself.

He led them to a cozy alcove with a few chairs, a candlelit table, and a tiny library composed of a few bookshelves. They were either well organized or all read many times, because Wulfgar went right to two books and placed them on top of Violet’s pile. But the two were both surprised when he pulled out a third book, and put it on Kaidan’s stack, looking directly at him.

“‘ _The Rise and Fall of the Blades_ ’… This is for me?” Kaidan asked, raising his eyebrow.

“ _Dovahkriid arkh Dovahkiin._ ” he whispered so faintly, Kaidan almost missed it. But he didn’t miss the room’s subtle shaking. All the blood drained from his face. The name that the powerful draugr in Bleak Falls Barrow had called him. Wulfgar pointed to Kaidan, then to her, then joined their hands.

“Dragonguard and Dragonborn?” Violet asked. She knew the words ‘dovah’ and ‘and’ at least, and her books said that Akaviri were Dragonguards, but she’d never heard of the Blades…

The old man only placed a finger over his lips and left.

“That ancient monster from the barrow knew I was an Akaviri Dragonguard? What in Oblivion happened back then?”

“Wait, if it knew you as Akaviri, then it was using its own memories and wasn’t controlled by anyone. Necromantic thralls don’t know anything except what a master tells them. Draugr are just… unbelievably old. This is insane.”

Kaidan took his hand back and set all the papers down, settling into a chair across from her. “I’d say, complicated. And aggravating. But now you get to sit down and read, and maybe calm down a little.”

“I wish. They’re out there talking about what to do with me. And I have no doubt whatever they come up with is going to be just as useless.”

“You never know,” He mumbled. He was already becoming absorbed by the book.

“I want to see that after you’re done.” She watched him study for a few minutes, then turned to her own books. Her journal was filling up quickly and she’d have to buy another sooner or later, her bag was already getting full, and she imagined being bogged down by a small library she’d have to drag behind her by the end of the journey. She needed somewhere to store all these papers.

*

“She already speaks of Alduin, yet she doesn’t seem to know who he is. Something’s amiss.” Arngeir rubbed his beard.

“Truly. She is temperamental, lacking in forethought, and barely aware of her true powers. And her mind seems to be elsewhere. Likely back in Hammerfell, judging by her thick accent. She is not ready.” Borri grumbled, and the mountain with him. Their voices were shielded by the blowing storm around them, though they were completely unbothered by it.

“I believe she _is_ aware, but her body rebels at its use, making her afraid. A single word rebounded back hard enough she was almost on her knees.” Arngeir shook his head.

“Probably because she’s neither Nord nor man.” Borri scoffed. “ _Mal sahlo arkh joor_.”

Einarth threw his hands up. “And what of the _Dovahkriid_? The Akaviri? They were supposed to have been wiped out. Appearing at the same time as the revival of the dragons and with no small coincidence at the _Dovahkiin_ ’s side. His allegiance to her puts both her and our master in grave danger.”

Wulfgar smirked as he approached, riding the wind as if it could hold his weight. “Their souls are beginning to intertwine. She is in no danger.”

“That’s rather… irrelevant to this, Wulfgar.” Einarth rolled his eyes.

“It means that they can’t be easily separated, and he seems to be her protective voice of reason and temperance. At least as far as not letting her ‘curse’ get the best of her. It is best to leave him be, for now.” Wulfgar replied. “Borri, Einarth, you do not watch enough. I know it has been decades since your life before the Way, but there are still aspects of our mortality that cannot be overlooked.”

“Indeed,” Arngeir said. “But she needs training.”

“Do you think she’ll agree to stay with us for that? She was trying to figure out how to leave as soon as you left to discuss this.” Wulfgar sighed.

“Then convince him, as she seems to listen to him.”

Borri shook his head. “The fact that we have to work against her to make her work with us does not bode well at all…”

“Wulfgar, see what Master Paarthurnax wants to do with her. But we are settled. We shall try to keep her here to help her learn at least a few things, since that is what she has obviously come here for.” Arngeir turned his gaze even further upward towards the mountain.

*

“ _There are those that say the Blades still exist around us, in hiding from the Thalmor. Waiting as they have done time and time again, for a Dragonborn to return. For one to protect, for one to guide them._ …I suppose my place really is here with you.” Kaidan had started taking his own notes on a piece of paper he’d borrowed from Starfall. ‘Ugh. I hope she’s not rubbing off on me…’

“You can do whatever you want. You don’t have to be here with me or be a Dragonguard. You don’t have a dragon god holding a leash around your neck, siccing you on his failed progeny.” She muttered over her own work.

He frowned at her. “Maybe not, but it wasn’t fun being nothing, nobody, directionless, and desperate. This at least solves those things.” He said quietly.

She winced. “Don’t lean into it too much, yet. If I figure out how to ditch this whole thing, I’m gone. You’re free to keep nearly getting killed every few weeks, but this sort of shit is why I almost got put in an asylum.”

He stared at her. “Asylum? Just how bad did _it_ get?”

Violet sighed and kept writing. “Don’t worry about it. It won’t happen as long as I keep medicated.”

“And how long after your medicine runs out?”

“It won’t.”

“Like there will always be more dragon souls?”

“Do you have an alternative? A solution?” Her voice hardened.

‘Yes.’ He went back to his work. “No.”

Arngeir came in shortly after; if he had heard anything, he didn’t show it. “ _Dovah_ … Starfall. Kaidan.”

Kaidan was instantly suspicious that they were now addressing him. Before, he was simply the Outlander to be ignored. Did Wulfgar tell them something?

“Kicking me out since I won’t cooperate?” She rolled her eyes and kept writing.

He shook his head. “Nothing of the sort. You came to us for help and guidance. And seeing how badly you wish to have it; we will see what we can do. But I ask that you must be _patient_. You look for quick answers, but you can only skim the surface with those. The depth of what you will learn in the coming times will only bring more questions, none of them easy to answer, and a few you’ll wish you hadn’t asked. You said your journey here over the past month was harrowing and fraught with danger. It will be nothing compared to what you will face.”

Violet stared up at him, then over at Kaidan. “So if you’re not putting us out, but you can’t tell me everything so I can just go, what’s going to happen?”

“We are going to _try_ to help you gain better control of your Voice. The reaction you have to your own _th’uum_ should not be happening. The Voice itself is not supposed to be a curse. We will teach you new words and shouts. You both will learn _Tinvaak_ , to speak in the dragons’ tongue. You say you are not weak, and while you have faced trials, bested a few dragons, and taken their souls to have the shouts you have, the dragons had help to cause the pain and suffering that they did. Some of their allies turned out to be _worse_ than the dragons themselves. You both will learn your legacies, hopefully understand the true nature of what your future holds, and why you shouldn’t be eager to rush to your doom. This will take time. Weeks, at the least. I will say that you do have this amount of time. The dragons cannot take over so quickly, nor can they approach High Hrothgar. You are safe here on this holy mountain. Is this amenable, _Dovahkiin_ and _Dovahkriid_?”

They looked to each other, then said together, “We need time to decide.”

‘Wulfgar was not kidding.’ He raised his eyebrows and stifled a chuckle. “As you wish.”


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Incident: Part One.

“I really hate that you pitching a fit like a whelp was what got us somewhere.” Kaidan shook his head.

“You think I _like_ never being taken seriously until there’s anger and threats and tears? I don’t! No one ever listens!” Violet pounded her fist on the table, making the papers bounce.

“No one listens, including you! They offered to help you earlier, but you were so absorbed with your immediate thoughts you weren’t listening to them trying to figure out _how_ to help you! Really, they just offered _more_ to keep you here. …Your mind is turning on itself again already.” He rubbed his forehead.

She blinked at him, then opened a different book than the one she was working on and started writing in that one.

“What are you writing?”

“You’re right. And I’m still gathering data and experience on what happens between states of power. I had months of previous work thrown away by the Thalmor, and now I have to build it back up. Also, I’m also right because I saw them watching me during that trial. Borri neither likes, nor trusts me. He’s going to be a pain in my ass if we stay. …I think that’s Borri. Because they don’t talk, and they all look alike with their hoods up.” She grumbled.

“Sunken eyes, short beard, even more grim than the others.” He offered.

“Yes. Him. Anyway, actually trying to help with the curse, may have changed my mind. …And them offering to help you.”

He looked back in their general direction. “That was surprising, considering they didn’t even acknowledge me until you were hurt. I think Wulfgar knows more than he can tell us. I don’t have much use for Draconic, outside of my sword.”

“It would be more helpful in that we would both be able to try and communicate with the dragons, whenever they hesitate for a few seconds before trying to kill us. Whatever that dragon at Windhelm said was incredibly bad.”

“Write what it said down in Tamrielic for me.” Kaidan said.

She took a scrap of paper, wrote it down, and gave it to him.

“ ** _Alduin_** _ya va hi_? Gods, your accent is atrocious. It’s a wonder the Greybeards could even understand you. I think this is what they were so afraid of. I don’t know the rest of it, but Alduin is the son of Akatosh and considered a god in his own right.”

“I never studied worship, lore, and theology, and my family wasn’t especially devout. I barely know a few of Cyrodiil’s gods, and next to nothing about Nordic traditions. Akatosh is Ruptga, Mara (though in Hammerfell her name is Morwha), Mehrunes Dagon because of the Oblivion Crisis that we were required to cover in various classes, and a few others. It was all stories to me until I learned I had a Voice.” She did remember hearing a few stories about the Dragon War from the miners in Kynesgrove and started digging around to find that paper.

“Brynjar liked to tell me stories, so if you need some context, I could try to tell you a quick version. As for Alduin, he led the rest of the other dragons in enslaving humans. Once he was killed, the others scattered or died like the tablets outside said.”

“So gods can be killed…hmm.”

“You’re getting too far ahead.” He said. “Anyway, what were your books about?”

She showed him her writing; the Draconic alphabet with most of the runes translated to Tamrielic. A few were missing, and even if she could translate, the words would have no meaning. “It’s still not proper Draconic. Plus, we'd have to learn most of the words from elsewhere. Like, I don’t remember anything from the barrow, even though everyone on this side of the country seems to have heard it.”

“The barrow echoed your voice around the cave, and the top was open. But it was so loud right next to you, that I couldn’t understand anything. Unless you want to go back in and write it down.” He smirked.

She flicked her hand at him and paused. “…What are the runes on your face?”

“What?”

“You tattooed Draconic runes on your face. What do they mean?” Violet leaned over and ran her fingers through his hair to move it up and aside.

‘Why are you so intent on pawing at me?’ He looked away and tried to ignore the heat from her hands. “Brynjar did that. He said it was something to do with my mother’s wishes.”

“Well they made it difficult to figure out what runes those are. Stylish, mysterious, and handsome, but not readable.” She smiled.

“…Par…don?” He coughed. The heat from her hand spread across his face. He was pretty damn sure the frostbite had healed already.

She ignored him and went back to work.

*

They had a mid-day meal with the Greybeards, which turned out to be painfully awkward, as half of the table was forbidden from actually speaking. Violet tried to press Arngeir for more answers, and he kept deflecting. She eventually gave up and went back to conversing with Kaidan.

“I just realized that we’re going to have a slight problem with staying.”

“Another?” Kaidan said around his mug.

“Well, not so much a problem as, I’m going to absorb everything they give me like that dragon soul, then have very little to do while I wait for you to learn everything like a mortal. As with magic, I performed a few miracles to do in thirty years what most do in ninety, and it cost me.” She waved her greying ‘locs.

“Magic can do that too?”

“Elves do something similar to live longer, but I’m not an elf, and this curse isn’t exactly pushing me to look into it.” She scoffed.

“Well then, you can study not being such a mess when you fight things you’re not familiar with. One Falmer nearly killed you; they usually move in _packs_ and have powerful magic because of course elves do. Skyrim’s wildlife and monsters can get a lot worse than that bear. And… the _other_ thing that almost did us both in.” He grumbled.

“I can’t do anything about that. It’s like something in my head gets switched off and I can’t control anything.”

“That’s called ‘fear’, Starfall. You can absolutely control that.”

“I know what fear is, smartass. This is worse. I know what I’m doing doesn’t make any sense. But nearly every time, it all happens so fast, I don’t understand what happened until it’s far too late. It’s like waking up from being unconscious and I’ve been lashed to a runaway horse. So you just handle that, and I’ll handle everything else.” She cringed and started scratching. “Even thinking about them makes my skin itchy.”

“I guess we’re all lucky then that we’re possibly dealing with Alduin, a dragon god and not Namira and Vaermina, Daedric princes of _spiders and nightmares_.” Kaidan muttered.

“You don’t get to be mad. I asked for warning, and you didn’t take me seriously, but took advantage of it instead.”

The monks all looked at each other.

“Not mad. Just an observation. I know I deserved to be nearly killed in a cave-in over a small prank.” He said and kept drinking. ‘I should have brought more ale…’

“Erm… If you would, Starfall. It would very helpful to us know just what happened to you to have arrived into your power.” Arngeir felt like maybe he’d better steer them towards something else before things escalated.

“Are you sure? Because I’m not sure you all are _ready_ for what's _really_ going on.” Violet knew she shouldn’t have let Kaidan wind her up, but now there was energy pent up in her chest.

Kaidan sighed. “Alright, alright. Enough Starfall. I apologized, and you did too. You yourself said that you needed more tricks, and those are going to take training. The Greybeards aren’t trying to hold you back, they’re trying to not overwhelm you. You’re going to have to cooperate.”

“But it’s too late for that. Gods, and curses, and dragons, and a war, and old magic, and you, and these old men, and I've barely gotten started. Just put _everything_ in the pile now so _I_ can decide what to do. Or just point me at whoever needs to die for me to be able to skip all of this.” She said, looking directly at Arngeir.

“You in your current state do not have the means. You say you are a scholar. That will be a valuable asset when it is time to weave all of the threads of fate together.”

“Scholar of magic and medicine. Not scholar of prophecy, history, or politics. I was barely able to get enough material together at Elinhir to point me to Skyrim, and the Thalmor took everything before I could get to Winterhold to find more.”

“Even of magic. Your thirst for knowledge is understandable, but you of all people should know the consequences of being unable to control new magic?”

She slumped down in her chair. “Mm. You know what? Fine. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

*

Violet lay in her bed, staring at the stone and baked clay ceiling as the afternoon desert sun cooked her through the window. It was pretty much all she could do at that point. Trying to distract herself from the howling pit that was embedded in her chest had long since stopped working. Any kind of stimulation just made it louder when she inevitably returned to it. Her alchemy and healing work had ground to a halt weeks ago, and people had stopped asking for her a few days ago. Did everyone think she was dead, or had they just moved on without a care? The weeks after the disaster of summoning a daedra, she had to go into hiding, so maybe they thought this was just another ‘spell’ she was having. She couldn’t tell which was worse, the physical pain from binding her chest back together, or the shame of having broken so many people’s trust, her own morals, and the contract that kept her a free woman. The physical pain was mostly gone, only to be replaced by the Hunger again, and so much worse. But after three months of this, she didn’t have any more ideas. She was left with staring directly at ‘it’ (‘it’ currently being a fixed point in the ceiling that was warping into a bubbling black hole with light runes she didn’t understand dripping out of it) and breathing, her lungs pushing ‘it’ around whenever she inhaled. Moving anything else was terrifying.

The doorknob rattled a few times, and a series of random taps knocked on the door. Violet didn’t hear it.

The taps kept going until they turned to scraping. “K-k-k-k-k-k-k-kaak?”

Her eyes finally moved from the hole to the door. Her voice was a tiny rasp. “Babies?”

“K-k-k-k!” The knocks heard her and scraped the wooden door frantically.

They must have broken the roof hatch again. Them being in the house meant that her pantry was now strewn all over that side of her apartment. The two bird creatures were perfectly capable of fending for themselves (and thank goodness for that because she could barely even move for herself anymore), but still liked to come inside to get pets and scritches and steal her things. At least they didn’t eat her alchemy ingredients. They just wanted meat and fruits, not potted plants and dead bugs.

She couldn’t move. The doorknob rattled more and more until the door slammed open and two large, black, balls of feathers skittered into the room and jumped directly into the bed with her. A stray talon dug into her just-healed breast and she nearly threw them off onto the floor again from being forced upright. The hole widened so fast, it threatened to take up the entire ceiling.

“Please…no.” She whispered. She was shaking and the bubbling hole in the ceiling was mirroring her.

The two birds hissed and lifted her hands onto their heads. “K-k-k-k-k-kaaak kaaak…”

After realizing they were just going to sit there until her hands moved, she relented, and her fingers curled under the glossy feather crests on the tops of their heads. They rattled happily. The hole stopped moving. The runes were still spilling out, leaving a mess.

“Were yyyou even worried about mmme, or did you just nnneed my ffffingerssszzzz—” The room swam and she fell back to lying down again. The hole grew one large eye. She’d never seen that before.

The eye blinked and glared at her, crying the runes all over her bed between her legs. She'd already cried herself out ages ago so there was nothing left but to just stare. ‘Oh good. Vivid, terrifying hallucinations with uncomfortable symbolism. Someone please kill me… I’m done. I’m finally done…’

Outside, there was a loud, dull thump, causing the entire world to slowly start shaking, not that Violet could tell the difference. At least until the birds started clacking their confusion and scooping the runes out of her lap with their beaks. …They weren’t supposed to be able to see anything. The two wedged themselves under her arms.

“Earthquake?” She asked them. It happened whenever there was a mining accident at the edge of town.

_NO._

The eye oozed a single word in her native language this time. She was well aware how weird and horrible this hallucination was, but now it was mocking her, and being exhausted, agonized, and scared turned into being annoyed. She was tempted to put a blindfold on, but the previous episodes had shown her that the horror didn’t stop when her eyes were shut.

The earthquake was getting stronger, and now there was screaming outside. Lots of people screaming, and one deafening, screeching thing she’d never heard before that made the entire building rattle and drop dust out of the hole. The screech pierced right into her brain and woke her up properly.

‘That’s not part of _this_ whole thing, is it?’ She looked around frantically and tried to move towards the window, but the birds wouldn’t move.

The bubbling eye started vibrating. It synchronized very well with the screeching outside.

Violet was finally able to push one bird aside and fell to her hands and knees beside her bed. All of her bones ached. How long had she been lying there? She crawled towards the window, wrenched it open, and was greeted by a blast of icy air that burned her face and made her slam it shut again. The force and temperature difference made the glass explode and rain down across her arms. “FUCK!”

She swiped her glowing hands across her arms to quickly patch the bleeding, dragged herself to her feet (and fell and tried again), grabbed a bird under each arm (she hoped they wouldn’t get a taste for her blood), and headed downstairs. She needed her medicine, and for that, she needed to reach the storeroom. The ceiling was back to normal. She didn’t want to think about what it would look like after all this. As predicted, her babies had trashed her cookpot and pantry; bits of food were all over the floor. The stairs down had to be navigated sideways with her back against the wall; she wouldn’t be any good to anyone with her neck broken at the bottom. Once she was on the ground floor, she freed her arms up by kicking open the storeroom hatch on the ground and throwing both birds down the stairs. They had wings; they wouldn’t die. They’d just bite her fingers off later.

Something was happening outside. Something with ice magic similar to hers. She was delirious, in agony, and hallucinating, but this wasn’t part of it, she didn’t think. It was loud and shaking a portion of the city. The guards were probably on it, but she was a healer, and it was an emergency, and she had a contract. But because she was hiding upstairs for the past weeks out of her fucking mind, there probably wasn’t enough of her stock to help people, so she’d have to drain what little was left of herself. There wasn’t really time to ask what she’d done to deserve all this.

What she wouldn’t have given to just take a minute to cry on the floor. She was still shaking, even as she pulled on her silver and white hooded robe, jewelry, and sandals. The sleeves instantly soaked up her blood and she sighed a curse. The chaos was still going on outside. Down in the storeroom, four scared and angry eyes followed her from behind some boxes as she pulled out a crate of vials, drank five at once (and gagged more obscenities at the conflicting tastes), then filled a satchel sized waterskin from her cistern, forced herself to drink half, splashed her face, then filled it again.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’ll make it up to you when I come back. A whole bucket of crabs for us to share, I promise.” She attached a magelight to the ceiling and went back upstairs, locking the hatch so they couldn’t escape.

She slapped her face a few times, went up to the door, and opened it slowly to peek out. There wasn’t anything happening immediately outside, so she ventured south to the main road. A great, flying _thing_. Grey scales rimed with ice turned dirty, sandy brown. Wings stirring up icy dust devils up and down the roads. The city’s namesake and the theme of most of the city’s monuments. A dragon. It swatted at a guard that cut its lip open with his sword, and the man crumpled into a heap against a stone wall on the next street. It just flicked him away like a bug. The other guards retaliated with arrows and spears.

Where was the reassuring hole in the ceiling that reminded her that this was all just a really bad fever dream? It was in her chest, vibrating to the steps of the monster, getting ready to tear its way out through the jagged scar across her breast. …Never mind, fuck that thing. She backed away from the street and cast Detect Life to see if anyone else was nearby. Many strong flames hiding underground in basements, cellars, and sewers. Around a dozen weaker and flickering flames in the immediate vicinity. There was no point in looking for the dead just yet. If the guards could do their job and drive it away, she could sneak around and do her job for the first time in two months.

She cut around behind her house to the next street and met one of her neighbors lying on the ground just a few feet from his house. His wares from the market and part of his arm were under a piece of roof that had cracked loose. She knelt beside him and whispered. “It’s Violet. I’m going to get you inside, okay?” She struggled horribly with pushing the chunk of stone away and streams of light wove down her hands into his. She could see the dragon’s tail flicking back and forth a few dozen feet away.

The Breton man shuddered awake, his grey eyes wide with confusion and fear. He grabbed her arm with both hands to get up and thanked her profusely. At least that’s what she thought was going on. A stream of gibberish poured from his mouth. She knew he spoke Tamrielic. She spoke with him every once in a while. He sold her a blue dress that she had in her closet.

“What…?”

“ _Kogaan_! _Kogaan_!” He said gratefully before running into his house and slamming the door on her.

‘Oh gods no. No no no no no _fuck_ no.’ Did she hit her head in her house? Was her brain finally and completely gone with apoplexy? She checked her head for blood from the window shattering. A few cuts, but nothing deep. She looked up. The sky was grey and snow was coming down… in the desert. Cling to the last shred of sanity like an oasis. The dragon screeched again and took off, making her dive between two houses so she wouldn’t be seen. It left her neighborhood, so she went to look for other survivors again. They all spoke the same gibberish as she helped them to safety. Even the words in her head were starting to lose meaning. That oasis was evaporating fast.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Incident: Part Two.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Be mindful of the content warnings above. This chapter dives deep into what's driving Starfall through her sickness and includes several instances of her acting disturbingly/violently.

After Violet couldn’t find anyone else to help and was alone on the other side of town, it dawned on her that people weren’t screaming anymore. Had everyone finally found a place to hide? Where were the guards? Did the dragon finally leave for good? She went back out to the main road.

Everyone was dead. Frozen solid or piles of bloody slush. Then where was the dragon? It couldn’t have been long since they hadn’t started to melt from the heat, yet. Violet was past exhausted and the adrenaline was wearing off, so she leaned against the wall and fell into a sitting position. What did it want? To just show up, kill a bunch of people and leave? Dragonstar was going to be a mess for months to come. Why was it part of her fever dream? Or did her failing mind just incorporate it, and it wasn’t a sign of anything except that she _was_ about to die of apoplexy?

She splashed her face with some water from her waterskin and looked for the nearest tavern or shop. Not for alcohol, just for someplace to rest that wasn’t out in the open. She wasn’t going to make it back home before passing out. She saw the Red Beetle a few blocks up (not the worst place in town) and shakily pulled herself up to her feet. When she looked down to dust herself off, the black hole with an eye floating in it was under her feet and growing in every direction like a fast… approach—

“ ** _FO KRAH DIIN!_** ”

The dragon’s shout echoed up and down every street, and the blast of ice sent a frozen sandstorm into every crevice for over a mile. Violet was slammed against the ground, frozen nearly to death, and the black hole’s bubbles were stinging cold. She tried to breathe but the air was too cold and too dusty, so she coughed into her sleeve. The hole’s eye below couldn’t hurt her. The dragon’s teeth above her definitely could. That good cry she needed earlier was now a good hysterical shrieking and almost as insistent as the Hunger.

The dragon dropped down from the building above her and cornered her.

“ ** _ZU’U MINDOK LOSEI NI DILON._** ”

Violet could hear it talking, but not only was it the same gibberish from earlier, it was like listening to it in the middle of a crowded bathhouse. Ringing and water flooded her ears. The shell of ice quickly melted, and a cloak of fire crawled over her shivering form. She didn’t want to look directly at the horrible thing, but the only other place to look was into the dizzying blackness below her.

“ ** _KRO? PRUZAH._** ” It… grinned?

She stared dumbly at it. What else could she do? This thing had tried to kill her and had almost succeeded, but now it was trying to communicate with her? “I don’t understand.” She coughed weakly.

The creature narrowed its eyes. “ ** _LOSEI DOVAHKIIN, GEH?_** ”

She didn’t understand it; it didn’t understand her. They weren’t going to get anywhere. It was going to get frustrated and kill her soon.

_Kill it before it kills you._

“What?”

“ ** _HIN LAH LOS DOVAHMED… TINVAAK!_** ”

 _Lay this fucker’s bones out for dust!_ The Hunger laughed. It hadn’t laughed before or spoke before today. This was far scarier than the giant lizard creature’s guttural yelling and widespread destruction.

The dragon stood up on its hind legs, then scratched the ground with a dewclaw and pointed at each rune. “ ** _Fo! Krah! Diin!_** ” Its voice was a thick, deep, angry growl instead of a proud, intense shout. It saying those words this time didn’t summon a blizzard.

She got to her feet, as well. She wiped her face on her sleeves and read the scratches on the ground. They looked like the disgusting, bright mess the hole in the ceiling left all over her bed. Everyone was speaking whatever this thing was speaking. That wasn’t a fever dream or a nightmare. Well it _was_ , but it was all becoming too real. Or was reality turning to mush…?

“Fo. Krah. Diin.” Violet repeated it carefully, though her accent clashed badly. It came out more as “Fook-rah deen.”

The creature was not amused. It slammed the ground with its tail, which made her flinch, which seemed to upset it even more. “ ** _NID NIKRIIN! TINVAAK! NU! Fo! Krah! Diin!_** ”

_KILL IT OR I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF._

The ground became wet sludge and Violet realized she was actually sinking into the black pit under her. Whatever this was, it was so strong now, that it wasn’t content being a hallucination anymore. And it wanted the dragon more than anything else in the world. It was tormenting her for _months_ over something that didn’t even _exist_ until a few hours ago. And now it _knew_ things instead of being some kind of vague sickness she had no way to fight. She was _possessed_. A new and different rage started to seethe and grasp and claw at the pit in her chest, one that actually belonged to her. She slowly slid her hand up across her heart and drew the sign for ebony. She wasn’t even aware she was doing it.

The dragon watched her change color and snarled. “ ** _ZU’U FEN NAK HI NAHLAAS._** ”

It dove right at the mage and snapped its jaws, only to pull away and screech before it could get them closed. A cluster of ice lances jutted out from the bottom of its jaw and up through the top of its muzzle, and several of its teeth were cracked. That earth-shaking scream came out again and Violet thought her head was going to shatter like her window.

‘No turning back now!’ Violet thought as she turned and ran down a side-street. It was too big to fit down the alleys, and it was a gamble making it fly over her, but she was too tired, she was low on water after all the healing, and it already proved it didn’t care about destroying the city. She had to draw it out, but she lived on the south side of the city, and the nearest gate was miles away on the west end, leading out into the desert. She could hide when she needed to, but she had no idea how sharp a dragon’s senses were. Sharp enough to find and draw her out of an entire city full of people. She could steal a horse or camel, but the dragon would just kill it and she didn’t want that on her head. If there were any guards left, would they let her out? If there weren’t, could she get the gates open? Too much to think about! She screamed internally and kept her eyes up for the dragon and definitely not to avoid the bottomless pit in her shadow trying to get her to go back and fight.

Alleys, side-streets, private gates, and a few broken into buildings turned into an escape route that led her to the Alik’r West Gate hours later. They were shut, and there were no guards to be found. She tried the gate house and it was locked. There was no picking that one. The dragon was screaming alleged curses overhead and tearing the place apart looking for her. Anxiety was starting to burn all over, pushing past the pit in her chest and churning down into her stomach.

‘Well, if it kills me out there, at least I won’t have to face consequences for this…’ Violet pulled at her dreadlocks, whining and pacing and hoping some other less stupid solution would come up. It didn’t, so she puts her hands on the wooden gate, breathed deeply, and drew dozens of bright red explosive ward threads all over the door hinges and weak points. ‘Oh gods…’

She ran back along the road a few dozen feet, then, being unable to actually pray to anyone, screamed into her hands some more and threw a simple fireball at the center. It set off a chain reaction, and both doors erupted in flames. The steel hinges melted, making the doors fall over into a cloud of dust and smoke.

‘That wasn’t so horrible. I thought it was going to explode. …It should have exploded. And now that dragon is going to come investigate.’

She barely reached the main road before she heard it scream, “ ** _DOVAHKIIN!_** ”

‘Can I at least have a head-start?!’ She realized she wasn’t going to make it on foot. ‘No no no please no…’ Maybe this was far enough away. Maybe if she could keep it right out here and focused on her, it wouldn’t head back inside. Maybe one woman would succeed where an entire regiment of guards failed and the thing whispering murderous thoughts in her ear would finally leave her alone. She covered her face with her hands and tried her damnedest not to cry, knowing full well if she did, it wouldn’t stop and then she’d truly die.

She was ready to die a few hours ago, anything to get away from the Hunger. What changed? What if she’d done all this for nothing and it was just going to swallow her up from the inside out?

The dragon’s shadow swallowed up her own and the pit underneath her feet filled the dark space, bubbling up more light runes.

“Oh, fuck you. No one was talking to you. I shouldn’t even be acknowledging your presence. I can’t even read that.”

“ ** _Fo! Krah! Diin! RUTH JOOR! TINVAAK!_** ” The dragon blocked her way back into the city and angrily shouted the words over and over. Stupid, stupid mortal!

“Stop saying that!” She screamed, coughing halfway through. “I don’t understand! I said it! Nothing happened! _FO KRAH DIIN_! …See? Nothing!”

It sneered at her. “ ** _LOSEI DOVAHKIIN. ZU’U KORAAV NI._** ”

“STOP TALKING _AT_ ME YOU GODSDAMNED LIZARD!!” She screamed and launched a fireball into its stupid mouth.

It’s head snapped backward briefly before it finally relented yelling at her, instead spitting onto the sand at her feet. “ ** _RUZ OFAAL DII ZII. FO!_** ”

A stream of stinging ice swept her up into the air and slammed her back down, knocking the air from her lungs. Her face was smashed into the sand to prevent her from getting any back. The impact emptied her brain out save for instant regret and terror.

_Are you just going to let it kill you?_

‘What are you?! What did I do?! What is all this?! I don’t understand!’ She was surprised that there was enough left of her somewhere that she started to crack, and tears fell into the pit.

_We know something you don’t. Kill it and you'll know.  
_

The pit under her graciously helped as sand fell down away from her into nothingness. The eye seemed to bore directly into the center of her mind until the pupil itself opened and a hideous mouth full of dragon’s teeth laughed at her. It was mocking her, the dragon was too, and they both would see her break.

‘ _Anything_ to see you both **_die_**!’

Tiny flames crawled out from her fists and the sand turned black with soot. For every meter it moved away from her, the flames doubled in size, looking for any and everything that would burn. Airborne debris. The trash on the roadside. The gas clouds from the mines. She pulled everything light enough to be moved by the winds out of the area and pointed them at the dragon. At it, around it, back to her, and around again. The smoke enveloped the dragon quickly, spinning into a wall of fire, trapping it with the storm clouds the dragon brought making the ceiling. She managed to get to her knees but was still too shaken and focused on the fires to stand.

The great beast looked around surprised. Human magic was supposed to be weaker than a dragon’s Voice because they were too small and pathetic to voice their demands of Aetherius itself. She had repeated his words to no effect. But instead, this silent, wild rage was made of more fire than a mortal should be able to even dream of. The dragon’s blood was there. She was still soulless and ignorant. But this was something else, and possibly worse. He shouted into the fire, but was drowned out from the roar of the flames below, rumbling thunder above, and blowing sand around.

The smoke from the fire and the grey clouds from the dragon fed each other, growing larger, taking in more surrounding air, flushing it into the fire, expanding the column, making more smoke, and growing the cloud. Violet only meant to make a simple pillar. Oh well. It’s not like she’d be able to let the damned thing go; if it didn’t keep trying to kill her or yell at her, it might go back into the city. The firestorm was hard to control, and her head was filled with all kinds of horrible noise including her screaming, but the whole thing was just pissing her off even more. It couldn’t fall to someone who was actually able to handle this, like the guards were supposedly trained to (okay, there probably weren’t plans if dragons showed up out of nowhere and started ravaging the town), or the fighters’ guild, or the mages’ guild, who were suspiciously fucking _absent_ unless it was time to pay her dues or go to her probation hearings. She couldn’t just lie in her bed and die in delirium and let her birds eat her corpse. There had to be a thing _sucking_ out the last bits of her brain and driving her to fight past exhaustion some kind of nightmare that she was pretty sure wasn’t part of her normal horrifically exaggerated imagination. She wasn’t even a fighter. She hadn’t done any Destruction training since college, which she was quickly exempted and graduated from because of her health, and her ‘tendency towards creative decisive victory’ (the nice way her professors kept from calling her an ingenious, deranged monster).

Instead of shouting for her to stop, the dragon devolved into screeching and took off straight up to escape the swirling fire. He reached the cloud layer before being struck down to the ground by lightning, landing in piles of broken glass created by the lightning strikes fusing the sand. The fire closed in, melting the ice on its back, then burning its scales and moving inward. Once the winds caught its wings, it was swept up in circles with the stinging sand and shredding glass, thrashed around in the storm, flailing and spitting frost trying to counter her assault. Unfortunately for it, Violet was now caught in her own angry thought spiral and with no way to communicate to her, he was stuck until she worked her way out of it.

By the time Violet came back to herself, she could barely see through blurring and darkening vision. The fire wasn’t in front of her, and neither was the sun. Did it burn out? Where was the dragon? Just turning her head to look for it made her entire body sway too far to the side until she fell over.

“Damn it, where is it?” She coughed. She crawled around, swinging wildly between panic, fury, and exhaustion. The entire area was scorched. Follow that. The path of destruction went back into the city.

“No...” She dragged herself back through the gate and found the guardhouse, barracks and most of West Dragonstar burning, with the dragon crashed through the side of a building. It was completely charred, and yet, still not dead. The monster lifted its head slightly and growled at her.

“How?! How the _fuck_ are you still alive?!” Violet screamed. The coughing came with blood this time. She used the last of her waterskin, the blood, and her pouring sweat to form an ice dagger. It froze her hand and hurt like hell, but at least it was something she could actually tell was real.

The dragon's voice was a labored grumble. “ ** _Hin dovah sos los mul. Kod dii rotte arkh dii zii arkh krii rok. Fo. Krah. Diin._** ”

“You’re still fucking talking like I can understand.” Violet pulled herself up to her feet and edged along the wall of the burning building while cursing, waving away smoke, and losing herself in another tirade.

“I swear to the motherfucking gods. Whatever this is all about? It better be worth all this horseshit. I’m a fucking _healer_ , but everyone is _dead_. A _scholar_ , but I have no fucking clue what’s happening! I went to _college_! You wouldn’t believe the shit I had to do to get through it. They said I was too fucked up to finish. ‘A danger to myself and others.’ But look who was _the only fucking one_ to have the absolute _audacity_! Look who’s left to clean up this mess! Look who accidentally burnt down a piece of the _city_ trying to kill one fucking lizard! Look what we did! This is all your fucking fault! Look who’s talking to herself and the _thing_ hiding inside her that probably snuck out of an Oblivion gate except I already tried an exorcism! I am _not_ going back to the godsdamned asylum! Are you _happy_? Huh?! I’m getting sand, dirt, blood, and soot all over my good, enchanted, _white_ robes and this was _expensive_ , you giant piece of _shit_!” She screamed through her tears.

The dragon didn’t reply.

 _Take its life for your own. I’ll have the rest._ The black pit was trying so hard to swallow the dragon. But it needed her to do it. She was definitely going to find this pathetic parasite and kill it.

“ _Now_ you have nothing to say to me.” She jammed the blade in between the scales on its neck, wedged its jugular open with her bare hands, and waited for it to bleed out. She stared at the absolutely normal, red blood gushing out over her robes and feet and into the pit. “That what you were after?!”

Suddenly, the dragon spasmed and caught fire again. She stared up wondering what was left to burn. The bubbling blackness that was slowly taking her vision instantly turned into blinding white light. The flames were brighter than the fire consuming the building and wove into strands and ribbons. This new fire flowed around and through her, and Violet gasped.

She stumbled backwards and fell; it felt like all of her blood had been replaced with lightning. The pain, the confusion, the Hunger, the anger, and the exhaustion all died in a heartbeat and were replaced with power and ecstasy. And everything was _real_ again! At least in the way that reality was _present_. She still wasn’t sure what had happened to her over the past few months. But no more hallucinating wildly and not knowing what was real and what she was merely imagining. Her hearing was filled with roaring flames and faint whispers. The light had died and so had her sight. The air was dirty, and smoky, and burning the toxic gas clouds from the mines was one of the worst things she could have done, but she knew it was all real.

Then she saw it. Her vision was still dim, but there was the barest flicker of light in the darkness. The runes. The meaning of the dragon’s words. The power and intent of conjuring a blizzard. To _command_ the weather to obey on a level so pure and primal, her magic was just a bastard imitation. A _frost_ at first, then bitter _cold_ , to finally _freeze_ the world itself. Now. See the world again.

“ ** _FO KRAH DIIN!_** ”

Since she was pointed at the barracks, her voice impacted immediately, blasting what was left of the burning building to rubble and immediately snuffing the fire. Snow and ash rained down again to dust the sand. The dragon’s skeleton shattered into a pile of splinters.

She covered her mouth. The dragon’s magic, power, memories, blood, and soul were hers.

_NOW KILL THEM ALL._


End file.
